Five MORE funny gifs.

Happy Friday!

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Five interesting Ask Reddit Threads

I've recently become a Redditor, which seems to be a glorified message board. Some of the more interesting topics are found in the Ask Reddit section. You can get lost reading these. Be warned!

5. What GIF makes you die of laughter everytime (sic) you see it?

This is just the FIRST one. From Redditor Pancakebanana.

4. What is the strangest true fact about the universe that we typically don't consider everyday?
From Redditor GizzardGullet: "...if you are an average-sized adult you will contain...no less than 7 X 10¹⁸ joules of potential energy—enough to explode with the force of thirty very large hydrogen bombs...

― Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything"

3. What is the most incorrect piece of information a teacher has ever told you? 
From Redditor PM_ME_FURRIES (I'm not here to judge) "That a fly can walk on walls due to the gravitational force of the wall. Everything has 'gravity', and the fly is small enough that it gets affected by this gravity.

I actually believed this for a while"

2. Which fictional character would be immediately fired from their job if they lived in the real world?
Overwhelmingly, Homer Simpson. I can't even pick one response, they're all fantastic.

1. What's a warm fluffy truth?
From Redditor thelaststripe "Baby puffins are called "pufflings" Awwww!

Those days

You know those days where all you want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep forever? Those days when the only thing that gets you out of bed is your zombie-like repetition of your morning routine? Those days with a cool summer sky and a long weekend of weddings and obligations coming up?

Yeah. You do.

So here I sit, stomach fluttering unpleasantly, drinking water and contemplating the five and a half hours until I go home for the day. I may have to walk home. Less than thirty minutes. I need the exercise. Maybe I'll feel better later if I eat lunch.

Got to eat lunch. One of my bosses will probably be here, eating it with me, talking about her Food Addicts Annon diet while I eat french bread pizza and unsweetened applesauce.

Ugh. I don't feel like eating. I barely feel like drinking water, but I'll do it.

Woke up to an unexplained scratch on my forehead. Could be the cat. Could have been my nails. Doesn't matter, it only hurts a little.

Another sip. Another wriggle, trying to get my bent spine to straighten. Another Five and A Half hours.

I can do it. But it's gonna be a chore.

Maybe today I'll go home, lay down, and watch some Law and Order. I'm almost done with season one. That's something.

Ugh.

Those days.

Five things that are NOT horror

I'm a huge horror fan. I've read 90% of Stephen King's books, waded through seas of crappy short story collections to find gems, and own 150+ horror movies.

So when I see people continue to post, write about, or draw things that aren't even CLOSE to scary and call it horror, I've got a little problem. Here's a few things that keep popping up on my radar.

5. Black Cats

"But Rebecca," you say, knowing the text I always put in these scenarios "Black cats are classic Halloween icons! They go with witches and brooms and Hocus Pocus!"

Thackery Binx, fighting off virgins since 1993.

I'm not about to argue that black cats aren't associated with horror. But this:

Not horror. Barely a passing grade in an art class. And yet, when I look through horror posts, this lil cutie is the tip of the ice burg.

Damn you.

4. The moon

I understand this: night time is when the monsters usually come out, so the moon is a prominent figure in horror writing. But by itself, it's NOTHING.

You want a scary moon? PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT!

Was that so hard?!

3. Clouds

WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHY DID SOMEONE TAG YOU HORROR?! YOU'RE NOT EVEN RAINING!

Sorry, this is a hard list for me. I take my horror seriously, and....FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LOOK AT THAT!

Okay, I'm cool operator. Okay.

GH---Nope. Moving on.

2. Eyes

Eyes can be very scary. But a normal eye, no matter how wide, is NOT scary.

For dry, red eyes, Cleareyes!

An eye gouged out? Sure. A bleeding eye? Bring it on! Maggots infesting the sockets of...

Wow, I have some serious issues.

1. Weapons

Again, I understand the connections. Weapons are made to hurt. But by themselves, they are NOT horror. Just like putting the words "Shark Attack at" in front of a movie doesn't make it a scary movie, slapping the word zombie on a knife doesn't make it horror. Or a good knife.

Sad.

Food Journal

Well, I've recently had a doctor's appointment, and SURPRISE, like almost everyone, I'm not happy with my weight.

I don't have the willpower for diets and such, so I've begun keeping a food journal. The principle is simple: by keeping and reviewing a log of what you eat, it will lead to better eating habits. I've added calorie counts to mine, as calorie counting seems to be the only way I've ever successfully lost weight in the past.

Then again, there are other methods...

Not. Okay. Not healthy, not a diet. This is basically starving yourself which is a terrible idea.

I'm trying little things. Fat-free pudding. Unsweetened apple sauce. Lots and Lots of water. Little changes that over time will help. I've got too much of a sweet tooth to cut sweets entirely, but at least I can cut down on them. Like a simple Hershey Bar (110) instead of pretty much every other candy I looked at in the store (240+). I didn't buy the chocolate bar, btw.

Snacks like string cheese. Desserts like a cup of sweet cereal and milk. These have got to be better than shoving cookies and chips in my face.

I'm not asking for accolades, or encouragement, or even low-cal dressing. I just want to know how many little changes I can make, and how long they'll take to add up to big ones.

I'm open to suggestions.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to drink some tasty water now that I've eaten a filling, fruity, fat-free (pudding) lunch.