Minty, aka Mark Bishop, is a reviewer that's done quite a few horror-based reviews and fact compilations. Here are some of my faves!
Friday, October 13, 2017
Thursday, October 12, 2017
Beautiful Screamer
I've had vivid nightmares my whole life. Nightmares that would keep me awake for hours, worried about the monsters under my bed, chasing me, tracking me, coming to get me. Just before meeting Bahamute these dropped drastically in frequency, now a distant third to stress dreams and normal dreams, when I remember dreaming at all.
There are exceptions, however.
Recently, Bahamute and I took a quick trip to visit the inlaws. It was a great weekend, marred only slightly by my anxiety. The second night of our 2 night 2.5 day trip, I was tossing and turning. I managed to get to sleep, but my brain was overtaxed, and I started having very strange dreams.
The nightmare started when (in the dream) I needed to pee and excused myself to the basement bathroom (which is real, though not as nice as the upstairs bath). I looked down the stairs, and saw a second staircase going upwards.
Of course in reality, the stairs lead to a nice basement, not a void and another staircase. But I wasn't worried about that.
I was worried about the shadow person.
It was a cliche, but no less scary, since some cliches exist for a reason. A thing made of shadows, down on all fours, grinning at me with no mouth. It did one of those jumpcut teleport things, appeared at the bottom of my stairs, and chased me back to the living room.
I was screaming when the thing caught up. I grabbed it, and it was really soft and squishy, like one of those round microbead pillows.
"Look! Look!" I stretched it's grinning face in front of Bahamute and his mom. "Help me! Just look!"
The two of them were laughing, facing different directions.
"Just turn your heads!" I pleaded.
Then I woke up.
My nightmares have often returned to the well of 'something horrible is after me, but nobody will acknowledge it/believe me". Part of this stems from my love of 'turning of age' movies: nobody ever believes the kids in those things. Unless it's well written.
But I'm 30, damnit. I've come and gone of age. And my tales of horror have been met with incredulity, but usually not outright disbelief, or refusal to see what's going on. So I have no idea what that was all about.
When I woke from the dream, I wasn't scared, but more confused and exhausted. I think the nightmare was brought on by a combo of Markiplier binging and getting these blogs ready.
All told, it's been a while since I've had a regular nightmare, and not a stress dream. It was a nice change.
There are exceptions, however.
Recently, Bahamute and I took a quick trip to visit the inlaws. It was a great weekend, marred only slightly by my anxiety. The second night of our 2 night 2.5 day trip, I was tossing and turning. I managed to get to sleep, but my brain was overtaxed, and I started having very strange dreams.
The nightmare started when (in the dream) I needed to pee and excused myself to the basement bathroom (which is real, though not as nice as the upstairs bath). I looked down the stairs, and saw a second staircase going upwards.
Of course in reality, the stairs lead to a nice basement, not a void and another staircase. But I wasn't worried about that.
I was worried about the shadow person.
It was a cliche, but no less scary, since some cliches exist for a reason. A thing made of shadows, down on all fours, grinning at me with no mouth. It did one of those jumpcut teleport things, appeared at the bottom of my stairs, and chased me back to the living room.
I was screaming when the thing caught up. I grabbed it, and it was really soft and squishy, like one of those round microbead pillows.
"Look! Look!" I stretched it's grinning face in front of Bahamute and his mom. "Help me! Just look!"
The two of them were laughing, facing different directions.
"Just turn your heads!" I pleaded.
Then I woke up.
My nightmares have often returned to the well of 'something horrible is after me, but nobody will acknowledge it/believe me". Part of this stems from my love of 'turning of age' movies: nobody ever believes the kids in those things. Unless it's well written.
But I'm 30, damnit. I've come and gone of age. And my tales of horror have been met with incredulity, but usually not outright disbelief, or refusal to see what's going on. So I have no idea what that was all about.
When I woke from the dream, I wasn't scared, but more confused and exhausted. I think the nightmare was brought on by a combo of Markiplier binging and getting these blogs ready.
All told, it's been a while since I've had a regular nightmare, and not a stress dream. It was a nice change.
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Truth is stranger than fiction...maybe...
Purportedly true scary experiences, documented in reddit threads. Take with a grain of salt.
- Parents of Reddit, when did you realize your kid was creepy?
- What's the creepiest thing that's ever happened in your house/apartment?
- [Serious]Subway Workers, Tunnel Rats, and Explorers of Reddit, What's Your Scariest, Unexplained True Story of the Underground?
- Art teachers of reddit, what's the most disturbing artwork a student has ever submitted?
- [SERIOUS] Redditors who spend a lot of time in the wilderness, what is the creepiest thing you have ever experienced out there?
- [Serious]Subway Workers, Tunnel Rats, and Explorers of Reddit, What's Your Scariest, Unexplained True Story of the Underground?
[Serious]Reddit, what is something you witnessed that made you question reality and why? - [Serious] What's the most disturbing thing in your family's history?
- Reddit, What Is Your r/NOSLEEP Story That Actually Happened?
- [Serious]What's the creepiest thing you've seen while driving at night?
- What episode of a show really creeped you out?
- [Serious]Reddit, what is something you witnessed that made you question reality and why?
- What is the creepiest "glitch in the matrix" you've experienced?
- It's 3:54 a.m., your tv, radio, cell phone begins transmitting an emergency alert. What is the scariest message you find yourself waking up to?
- What is the creepiest thing you've heard a child say?
- What is the strangest thing you've seen/experienced in life that you still can't explain?
- What's the creepiest thing that happened on internet and is still available to see?
- Police officers/cops of reddit who solved "paranormal" cases/getting calls because of "paranormal disturbances", what actually happened?
- Father-in-law's ghost story that he swears is true, and is corroberated by others.
- Babysitters and creepy kids.
- [Serious] What is the most paranormal event you've experienced?\
- [Serious] People of Reddit who have encountered ghosts or other supernatural beings, what was your experience like? What happened?
- What's a movie that traumatized you as a kid?
- People of Reddit who've encountered serial killers before they were caught: what is your story and how did you find out who they were?
- [SERIOUS] Redditors, what's the creepiest thing you've ever experienced?
- What's the weirdest/creepiest thing you know about a relative?
- Reddit, what mystery or unexplained phenomena made you go 'what the fuck?'
- Hotel staff of Reddit, what is the creepiest, weirdest, most unexplained event that you've experienced on the job?
- What episode of a show really creeped you out?
- Funeral Home Directors: What is the weirdest thing families have ever done at a funeral/wake
- [Serious] Real Estate Agents of Reddit, what is the creepiest, strangest, or most unnerving experience you've had with a property or a client?
- Urban explorers of Reddit, what is your creepiest/ most horrifying experience?
- [serious] Redditors who believe in the paranormal, what convinced you it's real?
- [Serious] Military or Police Service members of reddit, what are the most spooky/unexplainable things to have happened to you in your career?
- [Serious] What is the creepiest moment of your life that you can't explain to this day?
- What is your go-to creepy/unexplained story, this can be anything from a paranormal encounter, glitch in the matrix or even aliens?
- (Serious) Redditors who have worked graveyard shift, what was the creepiest/unexplainable stuff you saw?
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Monday, October 9, 2017
You know what's dumb?
The sequel to Rosemary's Baby, Son of Rosemary. That's what's dumb. And that's the book sequel, not the movie sequel which apparently also sucked.
Unlike my love of shitty so-bad-they're-good horror movies, I cannot stand bad book sequels. Son of Rosemary is neither funny, nor scary. It was written by the original author Ira Levin, so you can't claim someone else mucked things up.
It's been a while since I read this, but I remember the basic plot: after the events of the first book, Rosemary went into a magical coma for several decades, waking up in the 90s. Her son, now named Andy, claims he doesn't want to be the Anti-Christ. I remember him being very whiny and annoying. Anyway, Andy accidentally kills all humans or something.
And then his dad shows up.
Satan tells Rosemary that Hell is actually nice, and everything she's heard is a lie, and she should totally come live with him. Spoilers: HE'S LYING. HE'S THE FUCKING DEVIL. He actually says "I'm the Devil!" When Rosemary sees how horrible everything in hell is and complains. SINCE IT'S HELL.
But none of that is as bad as what comes next.
Rosemary wakes up.
Oh, wakes up from her coma, you asked? No.
Wakes up from a nightmare, and Andy is still about to ruin everything?
Nope.
Rosemary wakes up to discover the events of this book, AND THE EVENTS OF ROSEMARY'S BABY have ALL been a dream.
Rosemary's Baby never happened. That is canonical. The whole thing was a dream.
The last few lines try to make the dream a warming, and now Rosemary's scared to move to her new apartment. Fuck that. Fuck Ira Levin. That is the stupidest ending to anything, let alone the sequel to an acclaimed book.
I'm still so mad about this. Fuck Ira Levin.
Unlike my love of shitty so-bad-they're-good horror movies, I cannot stand bad book sequels. Son of Rosemary is neither funny, nor scary. It was written by the original author Ira Levin, so you can't claim someone else mucked things up.
Case in point.
It's been a while since I read this, but I remember the basic plot: after the events of the first book, Rosemary went into a magical coma for several decades, waking up in the 90s. Her son, now named Andy, claims he doesn't want to be the Anti-Christ. I remember him being very whiny and annoying. Anyway, Andy accidentally kills all humans or something.
And then his dad shows up.
Satan tells Rosemary that Hell is actually nice, and everything she's heard is a lie, and she should totally come live with him. Spoilers: HE'S LYING. HE'S THE FUCKING DEVIL. He actually says "I'm the Devil!" When Rosemary sees how horrible everything in hell is and complains. SINCE IT'S HELL.
But none of that is as bad as what comes next.
Rosemary wakes up.
Oh, wakes up from her coma, you asked? No.
Wakes up from a nightmare, and Andy is still about to ruin everything?
Nope.
Rosemary wakes up to discover the events of this book, AND THE EVENTS OF ROSEMARY'S BABY have ALL been a dream.
Rosemary's Baby never happened. That is canonical. The whole thing was a dream.
The last few lines try to make the dream a warming, and now Rosemary's scared to move to her new apartment. Fuck that. Fuck Ira Levin. That is the stupidest ending to anything, let alone the sequel to an acclaimed book.
This and the Wizard of Oz are the only acceptable dream endings.
I'm still so mad about this. Fuck Ira Levin.