Five Things that Piss me off about The Wizard of Oz franchise

The Wizard of Oz is my favorite movie. I own the L. Frank Baum books, I love Tin Man, Wicked, The Wiz, and even Return to Oz. So, what do I absolutly LOATHE about Oz?

5. Over 40+ books in the official cannon.

This is a case of archive panic. I haven’t even finished the Baum books, and there’s nearly thirty more in the official Oz cannon. Not to mention the literal HUNDREDS of unauthorized books. I will probably never be able to read them all. And it makes me sad. And by sad, I also mean just a bit angry.

4. Dorothy and the Witches of Oz.

Billy Boyd, what the hell? You were so good as Pippin, and now it’s all crap. ‘Seed of Chucky’ has been the high point of your post LOTR career. What happened?

This movie makes me so mad, I care barely even talk about it. But here’s a few of the worst things, just to give you an idea:

• Nick Chopper ISN’T the tinman. The tinman is a random robot that is never explained.
• The evil witch is a publisher, and could have killed Dorothy at any time.
• The effects are atrocious. Just in general.
• “I’m the scarecrow? I always knew I was different...I just thought I might be gay.”
• The fact that the idea of the Oz characters coming to our world and losing their memories could have been AMAZING.

3. Re-releases.

I own the 70th anniversary edition of The Wizard of Oz. It’s fantastic, packed with features, silent films, and memoriobilia.

Then the 75th anniversary edition came out. I can’t even tell what’s different, but it says there’s a new documentary. ‘What if there’s something you don’t know about Oz? What if it’s really new?’ The little voice niggles. ‘Just buuuuuuuy ittttt...’

And in a few more years we’ll get 80, 85, 90, 95, and 100. GAWWWWWWD.

2. ‘Sexy’ Wizard of Oz costumes.

Okay, this isn’t just an Oz problem, but it pisses me off a lot. No explanations, just look at these pictures of real, actual costumes FOR SALE. Why not a sexy Smurf?

Oh God, I take it back! I TAKE IT BACK!

1. There is an anus joke in a Wizard of Oz movie(trailer).

Please, play in the Oz sandbox. We’ve had wonderful things happen when people do. But this….just no. No for so very many reasons. The lazy animation style. The trendy adult jokes. The alluring cast that makes me want to see it in spite of how obviously awful it is. Just fuck off, people who made this.