Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Five of my ideas that never got off the ground

A list of my failed hopes and dreams for your enjoyment. Or just crap I thought up when I was bored.

5. Live-Action Dragon Ball Z Abridged
   
     Pretty straight forward. I wanted to film a live-action version of TeamFourStar's HILARIOUS treatment of Dragon Ball Z.

Seems simple enough.
   
     Furthermore I wanted to play Vegeta since he's tiny and it would be a running gag that the Saiyin Prince was actually a chick.

Me: And I am the prince of all sayins!
Grizz: (as Piccolo) ...What?
Me: I said I am Vegeta, Pr--
Grizz: The Prince.
Me: Yes.
Grizz: Not princess.
Me: No. I am here to destory--
Grizz: You are clearly a woman.
Me: I am not!
Grizz: Those are obviously breasts.
Me: (breaking character) We didn't have anyone else the right size! Just drop it!
Grizz: Ah.

Yeah. Probably for the best that didn't work out.

4. Landshark the Manshark

     Another simple one here: I wanted to make a short film about a scientist going mad, combining himself with a shark, and killing teens on the beach. I had a fairly solid plot outline by SyFy standards. There was a sassy woman shark scientist and a drunk ex-cop private detective and everything.

It was less stupid than this. And this EXISTS.

     Long story short, it just never came together. But it still could, if I gave a damn. Free movie idea over here, SyFy!

3. Learning to draw

      I bought a book. I bought a ton of books before that book. I practiced most of my school years. But I still draw like a five year old with palsy.

This is not a talent I posses or can develop. And I'm okay with that. Mostly.

2. Scripting 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' into a stage show.

This is actually being done now. But at age 16 I related the idea of turning the movie into a show and was promptly dismissed.

"Yeah...that would be impossible. It's a bad idea. Don't do it."

My heart shattered into a million pieces. I stopped what I was doing, convinced she was right, and I was stupid to have tried.

Don't let people tell you to not even try.

1. Being a Teacher

     This was my plan in most of high school and part of college. But with the job market the way it is, the stress of being a teacher, and Michigan's stringent requirements, I stopped after getting my B.A. I'm happy being an administrative assistant. I like helping people.

Also, none of this B.S.

     Ultimately, I'm happier this didn't happen. Not all missed ideas are soul crushing!


1 comment:

  1. I think I said it was impossible for a 16 year old to get the legal rights to write a stage production of Nightmare Before Christmas...I wasn't wrong, from the article "Posted in 2012, the clip has generated a fair amount of buzz from fans eager to see it come to the attention of Burton, Elfman, Disney and the rest of the powers-that-be behind Nightmare. While that apparently hasn't happened yet." It will continue not to happen. I didn't mean to crush your dream though, I'm sorry. I just thought maybe your creative powers would be better spent creating something original.

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