Five Reviewers I Love

Title is self explanatory. Go!

5. The Nostalgia Critic /That Guy With The Glasses (Doug Walker)

     This one is obvious, so I'm getting it out of the way early. Doug Walker may not have begun the online review as it's currently known, but he's one of the best and brightest. Even if you don't like his reviews, as many don't, you have to admit they're well-produced and he's done well with them.

     Mr. Walker owns his own studio, produces a number of shows himself, and has appeared on Entrepreneur magazine. Not bad for some kid and his brother producing videos in the basement. I found Mr. Walker's website several years ago, and the rest is history. I've met him in person, and he was very nice, so that's awesome too!

     This is a new feature on the show, 'What you never Knew'. As a huge trivia geek, I was surprised to be told things I never knew. It's short, give it a go!

4. Phelous (Phelan Portus)

     Phelous reviews bad horror movies, bootleg toys, bootleg video game consoles, and a host of minor things. You had me at bad horror.

     Notable for being the special effects guy for all of the anniversary specials, Phelous is...an acquired taste. His voice can be a bit grating (he's deeply Canadian), but something about his brand of humor speaks to me. He;s just so tired of everything, but can't stop himself from going on. If you want dry wit, this is the guy.

   
  Here's a team up with NC on one of my all time favorite horror movies, Child's Play. Enjoy!

3. Obscurus Lupa (Allison Pregler)

     Lupa, as she is usually called, reviews grade Z horror movies, grade Z family pictures, and Baywatch. There's a lot more to her shows (such as the hilarious Radu Reviews, based on the inept vampire from Subspecies), but those are the basics. She's the only female reviewer I've come across that I go out of my way to watch (sorry Nostalgia Chick!)

     Lupa just speaks to me. The things she reviews are either things I already hate/love, or things I WILL hate/love. I don't know what it is, but every time I watch her videos it makes me happy. No other reviewer has a such a high pleasure and interesting content, specific to me.

   
     Her only youtube links had Russian subtitles, but here's The Room. Classic!

2. The Cinema Snob (Brad Jones)

     Snob is the only reviewer on this list that I didn't find on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com: I found Snob before he joined the site, so when they joined forces, I was thrilled. There are several very fun crossover reviews, but the meat of the Snob is...The Snob.

     Imagine movies like 'Corpse Grinders' and 'Invasion of the Samurai Sluts from Hell!' give the Roger Ebert treatment, and you have a taste of what the Snob is like. He reviews mostly horror and bad theme porn (Musical, E.T., etc) under the Snob name, but has other fine personas such as...himself. He reviews movies and shows that never made  it to general release (DRV-Hell) food and drink (Brad Tries) Kung-Fu (Kung Tai Ted) and more that you can see for yourself by visiting his fine site.

     This is a guilty pleasure movie of mine, and I felt a lot more guilty after watching this. He also has Siamese kitties. EEEEEE!

1. MikeJ (Mike Jeavons)

     I started watching MikeJ for the bad horror movies and shameful sequels. I stayed for the infomercial products and fad diet weeks.

     There's just something so funny about him. Is it the Britishness that makes it work? Is it the down to earth disgust with the lack of effort in the things he tries, and the genuine surprise and delight when things go well? I think it is.

     Also, he's adorable. Not 'I want to do that' adorable, but 'Aww, look a Boston terrier' kind of adorable. I want to hug him. Watch ANY infomericalism review, you'll be hooked. Go on!

Five book I'm in the middle of, right now.

I never do things by halves. I will finish all these babies in due time.

5. Temeraire (book 4): Empire of Ivory

     I've spoken before about how much I like the Temeraire series, so I won't do a big rehash here: Set during the Napoleonic wars, dragons exist and are used in Europe's fighting forces. In this book, Captain William Lawrence (Formerly of the Navy, currently of the Aviators) and Temeraire go back to Africa (Oh yeah, they've been to Africa before) to find the cure to a disease killing off England's dragons.

     I'm 'reading' this as an audiobook on days I walk home from work, usually a couple of times a week. This is slow going, and I have a two more books to get through before I get to the physical books. I've been through all of them before EXCEPT the latest one, which is why I'm refreshing myself. At this rate I'll be done by Christmas.

4. The Dresden Files: Storm Front (Book 1)

     This is another audiobook in a lengthy series with a new volume, but that's all the similarity it shares with Temeraire. Wizard Harry Dresden is a P.I. in Chicago, saving people from the dangers of the NeverNever, including, but not limited to, other Wizards, Witches, Demons, Vampires (Three kinds!), Werewolves, Ghosts, Fae, and a host of other things you wouldn't want to meet without your pentacle and staff at the ready.
     This is what my Husband and I listen to on our 45 minute to an hour long trips to rehearsal for Shrek: The Musical. We're speeding through it, and it beats having to find new music for each trip. Hearing 'What is Hip' from The Drew Carey Show album will only be fun for so long.

3. The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside 'The Room'

     I'm only into the prologue, but I can already tell it's gonna be good. This book is written (and signed! Thanks Nancy and Jason) by one of the co-stars of the infamous film, The Room, Greg Sestero. This book is being made into a movie, ala Shadow of the Vampire. I've already got several people lined up to borrow it when I'm done. More on this story later.
     This is what I read when I'm out and have no wifi, as the book currently shares a bag with my Chromebook, Tyrion.

2. The Annotated Wizard of Oz (Centennial Edition)

     I'm still in the intro to this as well, but the intro is about a hundred pages on the life of L. Frank Baum, so that's excusable. An EXHAUSTIVE book in the vein of the classic Annotated Alice, this weighty tome delves into the history, mythology, allusions, and subtle wit behind the classic Oz. It's my all-time favorite movie, and one of my favorite books (I already own all 12 of the Baum written Oz books, and have read many of them).
      This is what I read when I'm alone at home.

1. Sandman: The Kindley Ones (Book 10)

     The classic series by Neil Gaiman about the king of dreams, Morpheus. I've read through the series several times since High School, but this time is to new purpose: new Sandman comics are being published! I have several in my possession as we speak, but I'm putting off reading until I finish the old ones. I'm on the penultimate book now. Yaaaaay!
     This is what I read when I'm getting ready in the morning.

Five mini-rants

     There are just some things I can't make a huge deal about, but need to be said. So, here's five mini-rants to cover some small, but crucial, points of annoyance.

5. How to Catch a Flying Saucer and Santa Clause

     No, this kid's book on UFOs and aliens doesn't tell you how to booby-trap the chimney. What it does do is say (I'm paraphrasing a bit, it's been almost 20 years since I last read it) 'Most people think UFOs are made up, like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus.'
     I was about nine when I read that, old enough to know about the tooth fairy. That was how I learned there was no Santa. In a book AIMED AT YOUNG CHILDREN. Children too young to know any better. This book probably ruined both Santa and the Tooth Fairy for a few curious tots. A book, one of the few things I had as a kid that was like friends, hurt me. It's a scar that's never quite healed.

4. The alarm clock noise

      It scares me awake. As much as I love a good scare, this isn't the time or place. I end up panicked for most of the morning. Not good.
     One of these days I'll buy a clock radio and be done with that pink monstrosity. But for now I'm cheap, and can usually wake up before the alarm. Yaaay.

3. Meijer

     Why do you clean four aisles at once? Why are they always the ones I need? Now I've got ground beef, but no taco shells, seasoning, or picante sauce. I've got chicken, but no tortillas. I've got applesauce cups, but no fruit snacks.

If other places were open twenty four hous, I'd go there. But this was 11pm! Not even that late! Do it at four AM when the only shoppers are vampires, meth addicts, and possibly still me and my friends but it's 4AM and cleaning is a lot more understandable.

2. Christian Mingle ads

     I'm married. WHY are these all over my websites? I've never visited Christian Mingle. I've never visited a DATING SITE. Yet they are freaking everywhere. Why? What box did I check? What link did I view? I'm so confused.
   
     Yes, I'm aware this blog post will not help matters. THAT I at least understand.

1. The fifth thing

     It's hard to come up with five topics for these blogs sometimes. I'll st there with four perfectly good subjects, then sit around like an idiot trying to figure out #5. I've given up a few times and gone with four, but that just feels incomplete. Why do I have so much difficulty sometimes getting to five?

Five funny guy pics

You know it's Friday!

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Five things that are pointless but good

I love these pointless, useless things.

5. M&M Chocolate bar
     I love chocolate. Like, deeply. To a very u healthy extent. I'm a full-blown no joking addicted chocoholic. I'm in a good place with the brown demon and have no plans to get off the stuff.

     Even I was confused the first time I saw an M&M chocolate bar. M&Ms are fine by themselves (or occasionally in trail mix). Why stick them in the middle of a chocolate bar? I tried one this last Halloween, because cheap chocolate is cheap chocolate.

     It was incredible.

Something about a mouthful of M&M chocolate with just a few hints of candy shell is a whole 'nother experience from the standard M&M. I love 'em. I recommend them to my fellow addicts.

C'mon. The first taste is free.

4. Adventure Time

     I got sucked in to this fandom by my nieces and nephew. I blew through both seasons on netflix in under a week. At 11 minutes long, these shows are too short to be overly plotted, dramatic, or really anything other than a silly time waster.

     Yet it's beginning to get serious. There are plenty of theories online about what happened to Finn, Jake, and the Land of Ooo in the great Mushroom War to make everything the psuedo D&D format it is. I'm refraining from reading them because I hate spoilers more than Robert Jordan's Eye of the World series.

     I like the colors. I like the simple art. I like the voice actors, especially John DiMaggio, who you'd know better as a certain robot.

     I like the characters. Finn is a genuine good-hearted hero. Jake is a loyal brother who doesn't go behind Finn's back, or cheat on his girlfriend, or do most of the usual 'liar revealed' type plots you see in kids shows. They're nice guys who have fun in their world. And that's refreshing.

3. Robert Lynn Asprin's Myth Adventures

      Want a lighter than air fantasy read, no prophesies, no morals, just funny adventures? This is the series for you. Follow Skeeve the (semi) reformed thief, now magician and his demon mentor Aahz as they hop dimensions, get loot, solve problems, kill monsters, and seduce women. Not always in that order.

     These books are just short and fun. They cover a wide range of topics, from classic fantasy scenarios to vampires to the mafia to demons and devils, to sports, and a whole bunch of other things I'm forgetting. The only sad thing is that Mr. Asprin has passed, and there are a finite number of these books available.

2. Wayne's World

     There is a moral (actually several) to this movie, but let's be honest: this is a showcase for Dana Carvey and Mike Myers. That's all it needs to be. There's comedy, good music, good writing, and all that stuff, but that's not a reason to exist. Wayne's World exists to entertain.

     Maybe that's a point unto itself, but this is my list. 'Pointless but amazing movie' it is!

1.  This gif

5 things that made this the worst day ever (relatively)

I understand this is a very first world list. Nevertheless, it was a spectacularly bad day.

5. Boss at work all day

    He’s very stressful to have around, so this is self explanatory.

4. Turns out they way I’d been taught to keep the books was totally wrong.

    Not just me, but the person who trained me, the person supplying my numbers, and all three locationswere totally messed up. So we spent literal hours correcting the books.

3. I had to stay late and ‘assist’ by making coffee.

    I don’t drink coffee. The coffee maker is in the basement. The coffee filters, coffee, and pots are in the kitchen on the second floor. At least I’m getting my steps in.

2. Turns out, I have no idea how to make coffee

    Which resulted in coffee spillage, which resulted in moving a table, which resulted in a pipe getting pinched, which resulted in a leaking pipe, wet carpet, and a frantic search for the shutoff valve.

1. And then dance rehearsal.

    My husband got me, I went home to change, then the hour long drive to the new theater group. For dance, my least favorite part of any musical. Not even music or blocking, which are fun.

I’m moving to Australia. There’s no dance rehearsals there.

Five really scary movies

     With so many 'so bad it's good' scary movies on the market/Netflix, it's hard to find actually scary fare. Well, here's some films that give me the whim-whams.

5. The Exorcist
     A classic. Everyone has heard of the fainting in the theater and the freak-outs at just seeing the trailer.

BUHAHAHA

     I love this movie. The book is great too. If you haven't seen it, get on that. It's been out since 1973. There's no excuse at this point. Unless you're CHIIIIIIICKEN.

Delicious chicken.

     Seriously, good flick.

4. Insidious
     This one's been out so long there's a sequel, and another in the works. I'm okay with it: Insidious 2 was pretty good for a sequel, and I'll watch anything with Patrick Wilson in it.

Aww yeah.

     What's nice is that this movie bucks traditional horror plots. Haunted house? Let's get out! I've discussed it before, but it bears repeating; that's how good this movie it.

3. Mama

     This is from one of the few scenes where we see actual violence. Just be glad there's no audio. Please be aware: if you have a 'thing' about children, I do NOT recommend this movie. The kids in here are messed up, and there are unpleasant things that happen. If you do have a kids thing and you're curious, go read the Wikipedia summary. I don't do spoilers.

     That being said, if you can watch Mama, DO. DO it now.

2. The Fly (1986)

     Another oldie but goodie. Staring Geena Davis and proto-Jeff Goldblum, this movie is a total win. Great practical effects, great plot, great characterization: you really feel for Goldblum's character. And the ending always leaves me in tears.

No, not that ending.

     I can't say enough good things about it, and it's STILL not number one on the list. No, number one is even better...

1. Pet Semetary
   
     This is another if you have a thing about kids, you may wanna skip it deal. But it's Stephen King. What did you expect?

Watch the kids kill the adults for a change!

     The child actors in this range from okay to THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT THAT TIME. That's right, as two-year old Gage, we have two-year old Miko Huges. Amazing film, amazing writing. One of the truest adaptations of a King book, and all the alterations made sense for a film.

Not always the case. Get it? Case. Heh.

     If you haven't seen it, or have but want to rewatch it, and know me, come over. I ALWAYS want to watch it.

I also always want to watch IT.

Five Reasons Feminism is still relevant

5. Women get paid less, and that's not changing
     A 2013 study found women get paid 76.5 cents for every dollar a man earns. That's bad enough. The study also revealed that in ten years that gap hasn't budged. The wage gap closure has come to a standstill.

Actual picture of my boss flying to a conference with the money he saved by hiring me, and not a man.

...

Okay, I lied.

4. It isn't just about money and sex
     This fight between bloggers is about how much more difficult it is to animate women since they have 'soft' faces. Male characters have soft faces too, as is pointed out, and everything goes to hell. I encourage you to read it.

The only thing pointy about this face is his hair.

3. Still not convinced? Read this beauty:
   

For those of you with little time, I'll sum up: this post is from a man delineating why he doesn't like tattooed women: "Because it's where another man left his mark on you."
     Pushing aside the comparatively minor point that there are female tattoo artist, this is so insane I don't know where to begin. Luckily, one commentator has my back:
"and when you go to a restaurant and eat something cooked by man, that’s where another man put something inside your body that I didn’t. And when the male dentist looks inside your mouth, that’s where another man invaded your mouth. And when the male cashier sells you those clothes, every time you wear them you will think of him, not me."
     Right on.

2. The Men's Right's Movement
     Elliot Roger, the  shooter in California was a member of this movement. If you're not convinced, Cracked has some truths you need to see about what is wrong with this hate organization.

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