Friday, May 3, 2013

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, offensive

The only reaction to my poem (I posted it on FB) so far is that one of my best friends realizes it's joking but 'is deeply bothered by it.' Huh? His wife, on the other hand (who is my assistant and was with us last night when we saw Iron Man 3 at 12:05) thought it was hilarious.

I've never been told anything I've written was offensive or bothered anyone. So...milestone? Also, do I even need to say that I'm not trying to shame adults who go out to movies? It's Satire, for God's sake. Like 'Go the F*ck to sleep.'

That's the only thing I can think of that's remotely off. But, if you have a dissenting opinion please critique me or refer to my good friend Ted:


OR: An Ode to Self-Induced Insomnia.


What with all the new movie releases and the ageing geek generation, I think it’s high time for a kid-friendly way of addressing these important issues. Thus I give you:

Why Mommy is Sleepy Today
Today is a free day
No school to be had.
But Mommy’s in bed.
Why? Was I bad?

No, little child,
You were not bad
There’s a very good reason
Your Mommy seems sad.

Last night, she went out
With lots of her friends
To see a new movie
That was given all tens.

She was watching a hero
Do good deeds and fight.
She clapped and she laughed
Well into the night.

So Mommy is tired.
Mommy needs sleep.
You want to help Mommy?
Then don’t make a peep.

Keep quiet, keep still
Keep your mouth shut real tight.
Because Mommy went out
And watched movies all night.

Tomorrow, she’ll laugh.
Tomorrow she’ll sing.
Tomorrow she’ll talk.
Today: not a thing.

Sometimes your parents
Just want a night out.
And sometimes a movie
Has just enough clout:

They need it right now.
They just cannot wait.
They go out in the dark
With their soul mate.

They love their big heroes
And monsters so scary
They stay up too late.
The next day: they are wary.

It’s a special party.
It’s kind of a treat.
To stay up so late
And see something so neat.

So, when you are bigger
and have your own car
You too can go out
And see the film star.

But for now, you will wait.
You’ll see a day show.
Though the hours seem long
And the time oh so slow.

You’ll soon get a turn.
Until then, please be quiet.
You see, child violence
Will insight a riot.

So goodnight Mommy
Please have a good sleep.
I’ll be quiet today
I won’t make a peep.

But when I am older
And have my own way.
I too will stay out
Until break of day.

I’ll see the new movies
I will laugh, I will cry.
But for now, peace and quiet.
I don’t want to die.

And so, on this moral
I’ll let you chew:
Please; be kind to the sleepy
Or we’ll kill all of you.

The end