See the elusive girl geek as she acts in local theater! Watch as she writes manuscripts, fanfiction, and anything else that come out of her deranged mind! Gawp as she reviews movies that normal women would run from in terror! GIRL GEEK!
Narrowing this down to ten was a problem: I have 50+ pages of horror favorites on Deviant art. So here are twenty of the best scary pieces of art I've seen. Please note, I've avoided fanart for original peices. For scary fan art, see this blog.
Candyman is a classic horror movie that doesn’t get a lot of chatter. It involves so many classic elements of horror: love, lust, murder, revenge, and bees. Lots of bees.
There will be spoilers ahead, so watch out!
Candyman follows the story of grad student Helen Lyle investigating the Candyman legend: essentially Bloody Mary if she was a black man with a hook hand who was murdered for loving a white woman. This is treated far more seriously than most ‘let’s raise a ghost’ type premise.
She’s trying to get at the social roots that create such a myth by talking to people who have a 'friend of a friend' who's been attacked by Candyman. It’s a great premise for her paper in her Urban Folklore class (and yes, Urban Folkloreologists are a real thing).
Also, Ted Rami is in it for about five seconds.
Unfortunatly, Candyman is real, and he’s angry. What’s more, he’s convinced she’s the reincarnation of the white woman he fell in love with and died for. And he wants her back. Let’s see Sammy Davis Jr. make a delightful song out of that.
Helen's study leads her to Cabrini Green, a project building the Candyman supposedly killed a woman in. A woman actually died, so unlike most urban legends, it has a tie to a real tragedy. This discovery sets Helen on her inevitable crash course with Candyman. For bonus points, she says 'Candyman' into her mirror at home five times after drinks with her writing partner who will inevitably end up murdered.
After visiting the Cabrini Green and seeing the murder scene, Helen hears the 'academic' position on Candyman from a cartoonishy-snooty professor. Candyman was actually the son of a former slave turned millionaire who was raised in 'polite society'. He was a portirait painter who fell in love with/impregnated a wealthy white woman. The woman's father paid men to mutilate and kill him at *GASP* Cabrini Green! After taking off his hand with a rusty blade, they smeared him with honey from the local apiary (like ya have). He was stung to death, then burned, and his ashes scattered all over the Green.
Also, he has a sweet pimp coat.
She goes back, nearly gets killed by a guy calling himself Candyman, and the thug gets put in jail. Happy ending, except it's 45 minutes in adn we still haven't seen Tony Todd, the actor pictured above.
When he does show up, it's not a shadowed glance in a dark bathroom mirror: it's full daylight in the University parking garage. Very usual for this type of movie, and sorely appreciated. Barker knows what he's doing.
Instead of killing Helen, she is put to sleep. When she wakes, she has been draped in Candyman's coat, transported to Cabrini Green, covered in blood from a butchered dog...and probably a missing baby. She's arrested, covered in blood. Another unusual departure for this type of movie (unless it's a twist at the end where there was no killer, just a split personality all along!).
Candyman then stalks her, chanting 'By my victim.' It echos Freddy Krueger: he needs belief to exist. He tells her if she doesn't die, he'll kill the missing baby in her place. He wants her to become the next part of his story. "Come with me and be immortal." Then, as predicted, her writing partner arrives, is murdered by Candyman, and she is framed.
What follows is a full-blown descent into madness. Is Helen crazy? Is Candyman a figment of her imagination? Are her visions merely a coping mechanism?
Paranormal Home Inspectors is one of those Netflix finds that is perfect to waste twenty minutes yelling at. It’s got a whopping single star, and no positive reviews to speak of. It’s a failure as a paranormal show, and as a reality show.
A laugh riot
But it is very funny.
It follows three professionals: one licensed home inspector, one spiritual healer, and one medium, as they investigate houses in Canada to determine if the residence is haunted, or just shitty.
The first episode is hysterical: the home inspector, Brian Daley, is able to quickly determine most of the resident’s complaints, including a door that opens by itself, growling noises, and a shattered fishbowl, are all perfectly mundane. The door isn’t hung well, there are raccoons in the attic, and the fishbowl was shitty. He performs his job well and gets the hell out without calling the homeowner nuts to her face.
Then the spiritual healer, Nadine Mercey, comes in, pronouncing the place filled with evil spirits. Her assistant is struck with a headache so severe she either leaves the house or quits the show entirely. I’m not 100% sure which. A motion sensor alarm goes off while they walk the house in the dark, asking for contact. Woooo.
Meanwhile, the medium, Michelle McKay, is researching the history of the house. She finds nothing of real interest in my humble opinion, but the names of the people who built it are the same/similar to the names Nadine spat out. Big deal.
Finally the medium meets with the homeowner. She tells her ‘Yeah, there’s logical explanations for everything, BUT OMFG, LOOK, NAMES AND SOME BOYS VANISHED IN THE AREA! HOLY SHIT, I THINK THEY WERE MURDERED HERE!’
And the homeowner says ‘Okey-dokey, ghosts it is!’
I’m a believer. I’ve seen a couple apparitions, heard phantom voices and footsteps, and even been GRABBED by something so hard it left a bruise, and I think these people are full of crap. The homeowner doesn’t just want to believe, she needs only the barest confirmation that something spooky is going on.
There’s a difference between an open mind and an empty one. Remember that if these kooks are ever
investigating something strange in your neighborhood.
Michigan has a lot of creepy legends. From the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald and it’s haunting song to the real-life deaths on our doorstep, here are five of the wildest tales from our own back yard.
Belle Isle is host to a number of legends. I never knew about them until long after I stopped visiting the Isle as a child. I’d feed the deer in the night after seeing Disney on Ice shows. It was amazing. I’m glad I didn’t hear the stories as a child: they would have freaked me out too much to enjoy my time there.
The most well-known story I’ve found is this: ghosts (either dead kids or dead teens, the legend varies) will push your car if you stop on a certain point where there was either a car or train accident. I’ve heard second hand stories of this working and not, but it’s very similar to other legends attributed to other places. I’m calling bunk. Feel free to stop your car all over the island without fear. Unless another car is coming at you. Then MOVE.
The other legend is ‘The Goddess of Belle Isle’. The daughter of Chief Sleeping Bear (sent away to be protected by snakes. Go fig) haunts the island because of…reasons. There’s little info about this, but plenty of apparitions have been reported, from ladies in white to native American women. Beware next time you go to Belle Isle cracker, or maybe a snake will get you!
The Dogman is Michigan's answer to Bigfoot. Reported a hundred years before I was born in Wexford County, Michigan, the creature came back to promience when a novelty song was recorded about it a hundred years later. There's been a few films and such since, but nothing compares to the classic song.
This is a story I heard many times growing up. It was a cautionary tale from my mother. Back in the seventies, the Oakland County Child Killer would abduct and kill kids, then throw their shoes into a tree as a gristly monument. My sister was the right age at the time, and our mother never got over the fact that she ‘almost got abducted.’ From what I can tell (and what my sister has said) nothing happened. I assumed it was a story, nothing more. Until I saw this Wikipedia page. The killer and the killings were sadly real. Though the shoe tree seems to be legendary. I’ve seen similar details in scary stories from all over. The killer was never identified, but the killings attributed to him/her did stop. So there’s that.
The sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald, for any out-of-state readers or any Michiganders below the age of thirty, was a huge tragedy on Lake Superior. For a longer summary, please listen to the following ballad. I’ll wait.
The sinking of the ship is horror enough. However, there are several legends associated with it. Tales of a ghost ship seeking port are chief among them. It was sighted at least once, ten years after its tragic loss. Does this ship still seek port? Why did it sink?
Many unanswered questions, so many years later. This horror is a little too real. I'll go back to the ghoulies and goblins tomorrow.
Since I’m in Evil Dead: The Musical (premiering Friday October 24th at The Starlight Theater in Michigan) I thought I’d take some time and spoil everything about it, from the music to the plot to the intricate details and nuances.
This show is RIDDLED with practical effects. If you sit in the first few rows, you WILL get wet. Wear a white tee-shirt and bring home a souvenir! Or get a poncho and protect yourself. Whatever floats your boat. 4. Chainsaws
No Evil Dead associated property is complete without the chainsaw. Even the less-than-stellar reboot/sequel got that part right. And our show is no exception. There is a chainsaw, among other weapons of Deadite destruction. Never fear, S-Mart shoppers! 3. Humor
This is FUNNY. Not only are classic lines from the movies featured, but we poke fun at the whole genera of horror, musicals, and everything in between. You’ll be laughing your head off. I know I will be. :D 2. A well-deserved R rating.
DO NOT BRING SMALL CHILDREN TO THIS SHOW. There is blood, gore, swearing, and implied sex. No nudity, but that’s about it. If your seventeen year old has already seen the movies, they’re probably fine. Just leave little Bobby and Suzie at home, or explain to them wha that tree just did to the nice lady.
1. Great music
This show has a lot of fun numbers celebrating everything from stupid protagonists, to love, to demonic evil about to slaughter the living. It’s got classic romantic ballads, pop, country, even a tango! What’s not to like?!
