Friday, May 16, 2014

Five funny images of dudes

Happy Friday!

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Thursday, May 15, 2014

Five lunches I've eaten as an adult

Being a married adult who manages a place routinely host to dead people, you'd assume I had my life together.
Here's a list of my dietetic woes for your amusement.

5. Pizza (ordered in)

     Some days you just want something hot and fresh, but you can't go anywhere. Delivery pizza to the rescue! Even better when your boss is in and you HAVE to split because she can't eat everything and that smell is fantastic...

Four stars out of five. It's pizza.

4. Two day old shrimp in lobster sauce with fried rice
     Chinese dinner combos make idea work lunches. The eggroll and most of the meat are gone, but there's still a ton of fried rice to soak up the sauce. Maybe even a fortune cookie to go with it. Mm-mm!

Three and a half stars out of five. The faded glory from the previous days shows, and that stuff takes forever to heat.

3. Applesauce cup, cheese sandwich crackers, string cheese, and a lemon meringue pudding cup.
     Also known as 'Damnit, I though there was another frozen chicken sandwich' lunch. No main course is no problem, if done sparingly. I eat this about once a week, or whenever the groceries run low.

Rating: Two and a half stars out of five. It's so average.

2. Baloney sandwich on white bread, Simply Lemonade with Raspberry, and half a chocolate muffin.

     Otherwise known as the 'There was a seminar at work and I got the leftovers' lunch. Since I'm alone most of the day, there isn't a handy person to foist leftovers on. There's a bunch of frozen danishes in the freezer, along with some juice and the other half of that muffin. I'm sitting pretty!

Rating: Four and a half out of five. Tasty! But rare.

1. Nothing


     Sometimes there's nothing I like, but mostly I'm just not as hungry working a 6 hour shift. So, some days I don't eat until I get home? Healthy? Hell no. But it's the truth.

Rating: Zero stars out of five. By default.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Five favorite Eugene Levy characters

Eugene Levy is a comedic genius. Granted, I haven't seen all of his fine work, but what I have seen is always great. Here are five of my favorites.


5. The Car Salesman in National Lampoon's Vacation 
     A small, but vital role. This is the first of many screw yous Clark Griswold (aka Chevy Chase) will get over the course of the National Lampoon's vacation movies.


4. Gil Bender, Greg the Bunny
     Gil, the director of Sweet Knuckle Junction, father to Jimmy, and all around control freak. A hilarious addition to any scene.


3. Plug Gard, Dilbert
     A one-scene guys star (alongside Jerry Seinfeld of all people), in episode 'The Return'. It's on youtube and netflix if your curious. I love the whole show, and this episode is worth a watch or ten.


2. Guy Fontenot, Almost Heroes
     Of course he's French! Why else would he speak with that outrageous accent?! The larger than life counterpart to the team's Indian Guide, Levy isn't in much, but what he is in is comedy gold.




1.  Mitch Cohen, A Mighty Wind
     A drugged-out relic from times gone by, Mitch is both funny and sad. The kiss between him and Mickey still tears me up a little. He's not a bad singer, either.







Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Five interesting facts about the number 13

Happy Tuesday the 13th! Here's some stuff you may not know about the number 13.


5. 13 letters in your name? Bad luck!
    Just take a look at these winners: Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper, Jeffrey Dahmer, and  Theodore Bundy, just to name a few. But what about Scar the Lion? Or Colonel Kurtz? Or Nurse Ratched? Those movies/books knew what was up. Or it's a gigantic coincidence. But that wouldn't look good on my list.



4. JK Rowling used it well.
     June 13th, 1943: Moaning Myrtle is murdered, and Tom Riddle frames Hagrid. Also, a giant spider is released into the forest. September 13th 1991: Harry and co discover Fluffy. October 13th 1996: Katie Bell touches the cursed necklace and goes to St. Mungos.
     Not an overabundance, but just enough for the discerning/obsessive reader.



3. There's a musical called "13"
      Musicals with numbers in the name are nothing new. Nine, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and countless others.
     But in 2008 there was a new contender: "13". It's the story of a small town kid moving to NYC, dealing with his parents divorce, high school, and his upcoming Bar Mitzvah. It's played quite a lot, so it might be good. I don't know. It wasn't bad enough to go on my other list.



2. Season one of The Simpsons had 13 episodes.
     The Simpsons is on episode five gazillion (roughly), but the first season paved the way. Known for rough animation, a strange Walter Mathau-esq Homer, and good-enough-to-get-a-second-season plots, it left it's mark on history. My favorite from these? "Krusty gets Busted." Gotta love Kelsey Grammar as Sideshow Bob.


1. Greg the Bunny ONLY had 13 episodes.
     Ah, Greg the Bunny. How I love you. A proto avenue Q type show, Greg the Bunny lasted one glorious summer on Fox. It addressed the issues puppets (or fabricated Americans) faced in the real world (a loose term at best). Sadly, Fox dumped it along with The Lone Gunmen and a host of other shows. At least I'll always have the DVDs...somewhere...



Because Turtles are slow...Bahamute's favorite character, BTW.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Four Things I'm counting down to

The best things in life are worth waiting for. Still, it's nice to know the exact dates. Not in any order, because that's now how I do things, if you haven't noticed.


4. The Ant Man movie, July 17th, 2015
     To my great surprise, the internet has proven, I'm not the only fan of Ant Man. I'm just as shocked as you are. Literally dozens of fans were delighted when the movie finally got a release date. More importantly, this movie is starring the likes of Patrick Wilson, Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, and Michael Douglas. Count me in!

3. Rifftrax riffs Sharknado LIVE! July 10th (Encore July 15th)
     Remember MST3K? Think no puppets and modern movies. That's Rifftrax. Once in a while, the crew does a live riff, broadcast across theaters. I haven't been able to go to one before, but I should be able to make one of these babies. And Sharknado? That's the modern B-Movie in a nutshell. Very excited for this!

2. New Nostalgia Critic episodes, every tuesday
     Today it'll be The Lorax. Next week, an editorial on God knows what, but it'll be funny! These make my tuesday exciting (Well, that and episodes of Face Off and Jim Henson's Creature Workshop with friends. But that's another story).


1. Halloween, October 31st
     This one needs no explanations.