What do these movies have in common?
A Nightmare on Elm Street
The Crow
The Wizard of Oz
Stephen King's IT
The Evil Dead
Logan's Run
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Child's Play
The Wolf Man
The Tingler
Children of the Corn
Footloose
The Incredible Shrinking Man
Red Sonja
Conan
Labyrinth
The Thing
Short Circuit
Highlander
Jesus Christ Superstar
Hellraiser
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
Total Recall
The NeverEnding Story
Frankenstine
They are all being rebooted, remade, or re-imagined. And these aren't even all the movies I found listed on IMDB under the keyword 'Remake'. Now, IMDB has been mistaken before, so the list may not be entirely accurate. Ditto for what's found on Wikipedia, or any other online source. With that said however, if even a third of these remakes ever come to pass, my point will still be proven.
For the most part, the movies on this list are horror movies. Since the nineteen eighties horror movies have mostly been bad, or imported from Asia. There are some exceptions to this rule (Sleepy Hollow comes to mind), but they are few and far between. Hollywood's solution? Remake the hell out of any horror movie you can get your hands on!
To be fair, some of these movies could do with a remake, as the first attempt was abysmal. Red Sonja and Conan fall into this category. With better actors, writers, and effects, these movies could easily be better than the originals. The problem is the fan base. Who is a fan of either Red Sonja or Conan anymore?
In some cases, the original team is working on the remake. I'm a huge fan of the first two Child's Play movies (I even won tickets to see 'Seed of Chucky' premier in Detroit), but if it's going to be remade, why use the same team that did it the first time, including Brad Douriff as the voice of Chucky?
The answer: It's not a re-make, only a glorified special edition with better effects and 'modern' terror (see Chucky commit identity theft! See Andy as a latchkey kid neglected by his single mother!). If all you want to do is release an anniversary special, do that. Don't just make the exact same movie again with better effects and actors. That has worked a total of once in cinema history, and has yet to be repeated (Ah, Evil Dead 2! Neither pure remake or sequel were you).
Some of these just seem bizarre. Footloose is a movie version of the musical play that was based on the non-musical Kevin Bacon film. Got it? This version of 'The Incredible Shinking Man' is said to star Eddie Murphy as a magician who shrinks himself and has to find a cure. Why did they use the title from the original film and book, but have a completely different plot? Why not just title it something else? Here, I'll give you a title: Meet Dave 2.
For the most part, the original movies are classics that should not be remade. The classic monster movies of the nineteen thirties forties and fifties will stand on their own merits, no matter what hollywood produces. But to remake 'A nightmare on Elm Street' is madness. The original cast, crew, and director are still making films! And no matter what the company says, you cannot convince me that Robert Englund suddenly changed his mind about wanting to play Freddy again. That man MADE the role. It would be like casting someone as Dorothy in a Wizard of Oz remake!
Oh, wait. They're doing that. They're remaking 'The Wizard of Oz' as a CGI film. They're also rebooting 'The Crow', a movie that actually killed it's star, Brandon Lee, and basically cemented his acting legacy, ala Heath Ledger's Joker. Wonder how long it'll go before 'The Dark Knight' get's remade. Let's see, at Hollywood's current rate, I'd give it 20 years, at best. So, lets count down to 2028! See an aging Johhny Depp play Alfred! See Rupert Gint as Commissioner Gordon! See the twins Zack and Cody tackle THE JOKER in all his demented glory! See Ledger ROLL OVER IN HIS DAMN GRAVE!
To sum up, at best these films are undeserving of a remake based on the original, and at worse, a sacrilege to the memory of the people who actually created the classic film. I only wish Hollywood would give some independent film makers a chance to do new things. After all, if we don't have new films, what are they going to remake in 20 years?
