Friday, May 2, 2014

Five horrifying gifs

These are scary/gory/creepy/weird/unsettling/bloody/violent/NSFW. You have been warned.

5. What is this, I don't even--



4. Tina, NO!



3. I got nothing.




2. What the actual F***?!




1. WHAT IS THIS ABOMINATION?!




Here's some stuff to ease your brain after all that horror. Good job!




Thursday, May 1, 2014

Five hilarious product review videos.

      Ever wondered: does the product in the infomercial really work? Well, the good folks of the internet are one step ahead of you. And the results may surprise you (IE, not everything is a dud). Check out these hilarious product reviews.

5. Rotato Express
Cut time from your tedious potato peeling: or at least watch Mario and Fafa play with the thing.


4. The Pocket Chair
     We all know carrying around a real chair can be a hassle. But does this chair stand up to MikeJ's 200+ lb frame?


3. The Rollie
     How hard is it to cook an egg? Well, if you're one of the egg-deprived masses, The Rollie might be for you. Just let Glove and Boots take a stab at it first.

2. The Super Smart Mop
     MikeJ is back again, but things are going downhill rapidly, with this not-so-smart mop.

1. The X-Hose

Advertised as a durable expanding hose, it's supposed to be easier to use and store than conventional hoses. MikeJ puts it to the test. 



Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Five Websites you need to Bookmark

     A few super cool websites to help you in your daily life.

5. Supercook
   
     This website lets you put in whatever ingredients you have on hand, and spits out recipes.  With as little as flour and eggs, you can be on your way to food. Perfect for the college student, or those of us who need to go shopping.


4. LifeHacker

     This site covers a multitude of tips and has great articles: How to make your office greener, Money saving habits that can backfire, Eating Seasonally and Locally, and about a million others. Just type in a search term, or browse whats popular. Learn stuff today


3. DuoLingo

     Want to learn the basics of French, Spanish, German, or Portuguese? This is the place to do it. There are easy lessons to take at your own pace, to get to basic conversational levels. I'm done with the first lesson in German already. Ich bin eine Frau!



2. Tickld

          Tickld is a funny picture website. That's really it. It gets content from all over the web, so it's a one-stop-shop for internet trends. Check out these gems:


     There are hits and misses, but it's a pretty good ratio.

1. Click to give

     Nothing flashy. Click on this site once a day, click the button, and help save animals. It takes literally a second. Do it. Doooo it.




Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Five books to stay away from.

     You want bad mamma-jammas? These babies are atrocious.

5. Communion: A True Story by Whitley Striber

     You may remember the 1989 film adaptation, starring Christopher Walken. Striber probably wishes he didn't. He told Walken that he might be portraying him as a little too crazy. Reportedly Walken replied, "If the shoe fits."
     The book doesn't make much more sense. The SENSATIONAL TRUE STORY of Whitley Striber and his alien abductions. If you're curious, the movie at least has Walken, and is good for a laugh. The book is boring, weird, and near incomprehensible. Just skip it.

4. The Polar Express: Trip to the North by Ellen Weiss


     I refuse to explain why the novelization of a movie already based on a book made this list.

3. Congo by Michael Crichton.

     This, like Communion, was turned into a movie. Like Communion, both the movie and the source material were bad. I'm a fan of Michael Crichton, but the plot was pointless, the characters wooden, and it lacked the usual flair found in Jurassic Park, or even Sphere (also fine movie adaptations).
    Even if you're a fan, skip it.


2.Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austin and Seth Grahame-Smith

     Want to read someone's tedious self-insert fanfic, except the self is zombies? Then this is the book for you. Readable only to the most die-hard Austin/zombie aficionados, which is a bigger market than I anticipated: the book sold quite well.
"Meanwhile, Kustophenia sits on the shelf!"



1. MEG by Steve Alten

     This was the first book I ever read where realized I could/was doing better. I don't mean that in a prose way: I mean basic grammar and description skills. There are exclamation points all over the place. "Then the shark jumped out of the water! Then the T-rex got eaten!" Things like that.
    As for prose, I don't care for it. It gets beyond silly. There's a part when a man in a sinking sub see the Megalodon swimming at him, jaws open, and frantically breathes in the water to try and drown himself before the shark eats him. The level of stupid there is beyond comprehension. The fact that he thinks this is possible, let alone making that poor character try and kill himself by drowning in under ten seconds...urg.

     This may be a movie, someday. It can't be much worse...Right?