Friday, October 17, 2014

TEN Scary Fan Drawings

Spooky Friday!

10. Boogieman by Lunoki

This art was inspired by the TOS episode Phantasms. I won't spoil it, but this image marries perfectly with Halloween.

9. Muppet Hell by LordWormm

Meep indeed...

8. Sam's New Pet by kezeff

Remember how the drawing in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark were the only scary thing? Somebody took one of the most horrifying and made a sculpture out of it! Enjoy!

7. ET by THATGUYWHODRAWS

Finally, someone else sees the little monster how I do.

6. Pennywise...by RayDillon

Tim Curry's got nothin' on this guy.

5. Elmo's Nightmare Revisited by xXxMudzxXx

There are a lot of puns about 'A Nightmare on Elmo Street'. This drawing is the most horrifying of the bunch. Elmo's dead eyes are just chilling.

4. Mrs. Lovett - Puppetmaster by KittyMira

The art itself is fine, but the implications are what really makes this piece work. Mrs. Lovette, not an obsessed, lovesick psychopath, but a plain psychopath willingly jerking Sweeney Todd to her whims. Brr.

3. POST IT POLTERGEIST by QuinteroART

HOLY CRAP, NO.

2. The Further by davidcombs76

Go watch Insidious. And Insidious 2. Now.

1. Deception and Blood Lust by  Silver-HeartCrosser

I love Wreck-It Ralph. The original character art was already terrifying, but damned if this doesn't take it to the next level. BRAVO! 

Thursday, October 16, 2014

What's the deal with Hellraiser?

Hellraiser is one of my all-time favorite horror movies. The first sequel ‘Helbound: Hellraiser 2’ is a fantastic example of how a cohesive story can be told if you keep the creator involved, much like Halloween 1 and 2, or Nightmare on Elm Street 1 and 3. Hellraiser is more like Halloween in this respect, as the stories of the second movies takes place mere hours after the events of the first ones. But even knowing this, the plot is muddled. I’ve read the novel Hellraiser is based on ‘The Hellbound Heart’ and I’ve seen all the movies (save the maligned reboot). So here’s the deal with Hellraiser

The Lament Configuration is the puzzlebox featured in all the Hellraiser movies. Like Freddy’s Glove or Chucky’s…Chucky doll, this prop is iconic for the series. It’s a dimensional gateway between the mortal world and the dimension where Pinhead and the other Cenobites live. To solve the box calls them. Then the fun begins.

(pictured: fun)

People intentionally solve the box because they’re depraved sadistic lunatics, or they can unintentionally do it and get stuck in the same boat. This is how Kirsty, our female protagonist in movies one and two, gets involved with the Cenobites. Speaking of…

Pinhead and the Cenobites (best rock band name ever!) are the denizens of the Lament Configuration Dimension. They serve a god named Leviathan, harvesting souls that solve the box and ‘pleasuring’ them in their own private hell for eternity. They were originally thought to be nothing more than demons, but Kirsty reveals they were once human. They were so tormented they became Cenobites, carrying on the work of Leviathan.

This revelation had far-reaching repercussions in the series. In movie two the shock causes the Cenobites to protect Kirsty. They fail, but at least they tried! We also see Pinhead’s human side a few more times, trying to split from his evil side. It’s a complex relationship. His human side was an officer in a war, and became so jaded he sought the box. The other Cenobites in the first movie have less-defined backstories. The female (Deep Throat) is supposed to have been a nun, the fat one (Butterball) is a fat guy, and the eyeless one (Chatterbox) is a little boy.

Whatta cute little scamp!

There are fan theories about what each of them did, but Pinhead is the only one we know for sure. He’s also the only one to show in every installment, since he’s the coolest/best acted/best fleshed out.

What this amount to in Hellraiser and Hellbound is the Cenobites are after Kirsty and her family because her uncle opened the Lament Configuration. All the weird tunnels in the walls bits are their dimension connecting with our own. It's all quite simple really.

Just don't ask me to explain The Engineer

So that's the deal with Hellraiser: humans made into demons torturing people who solve puzzles in hell for eternity. Hope that clears up a few things!

HAVE A NICE DAY!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Five Favorite Freddy Quotes

Freddy Krueger is the star of my all-time favorite horror movie/series. Teens come and go, but Freddy is eternal.


And he can rock some shades.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from my favorite Nightmare Master

5. “This…is God.”

Freddy's first real line of dialogue from the first Nightmare is one of his best. After threatening Tina, the stricken teen whispers "Oh God."  Freddy, always ready with a witty rejoinder, holds up his glove and gives her a theology lesson. Perfect character intro.

4.

This quote comes from the unappreciated Freddy VS. Jason. We often forget that he first targeted small children: this bit will will get you feeling bad for Jason Voorheis! It's also a fabulous capper to one of the best scenes in the film.

3. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but nothing will ever kill me.

This quotes is from the worst of the NOES movies, Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare. It accurately sums up most of the ways Freddy got killed in previous installments, and the futility of it all.  Even the worst movie in this franchise is funny, and Freddy delivers this line with such punch, you won't even care that  is one of the stars.

Seems about right.

2.“Rick. You little meatball."


Here's a rare double-whammy from NOES4: The Dream Master: Freddy tormenting his victim AFTER already killing him. He literally eats the head/soul of Rick right in front of his horrified sister. If that ain't evil, nothing is.

1.

This line was so good they put it in NOES 2: Freddy's Revenge AND the master meta film Wes Craven's New Nightmare.

This line is delivered both times with impeccable Freddy-ness. The crux of the character is here: the demonic gate-keeper lording over his soon-to-be-dead charges. It's almost beautiful.


Sweet Dreams!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Why isn't Hocus Pocus a Broadway Show?

Hocus Pocus is a very special movie. It was the first movie I saw Bette Middler in, as well as Kathy Nijimy and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Pictured together here.

It’s also the first movie I played a drinking game to an actually got drunk, the first ‘adult’ costume I ever wanted for Halloween (adult like dressing as an adult, not a sexy witch you pedophiles. I was TEN), and the first I ever bootlegged into a show.

Back in the seventh grade, my friend Mitchel and I performed the infamous ‘what a pretty spider’ and ‘I put a spell on you’ number from the movie for theater class. I was Winifred Sanderson, he was Mary and Sarah. Good times. But since then, I’ve wondered: why isn’t Hocus Pocus a show?

I’m not the first person to ask the question or demand that it be made into a show, preferably on Broadway. But what are the best arguments for moving the project forwards?

First, the assortment of characters are perfect for the stage. Three older women as the witches, two teenagers for Max and Alison, one pre-teen girl for Danny, and a male puppeteer for Binx. You can fill out the chorus with the usual assortment, and there’s room for lots of little kinds in a few trick or treating scenes (or maybe a new musical number!) Those kinds of stats are great for shows: not a lot of men needed, but the few who are get some fun stuff. Ernie and Ice could be played by people into their late twenties if the need arose. Billy Butcherson can be your man bass. An older couple for mom and dad. It’s perfect!

I won’t insult your intelligence by explaining how cool the characters are. You already know how awesome the Sanderson sisters are, let alone the rest.

As for the plot, little needs to be changed from the basic structure. The act break should come just after it’s reveled the witches survived the burnination. Sort of an ‘Into the Woods’ the audience knows trouble is coming but the characters think it’s Ever After time thing. Maybe add a little more backstory to why Max hates his new home/Halloween so much, but that can be accomplished via song.

Speaking of songs, it’s gonna need some. We’ve already got ‘I put a spell on you’ for the sisters and ‘Come little children’ for Sarah. But we need a lament for Bix. A rock song for Max. A hooray for Halloween for Danny and the kids. A Sweeny Todd-esq ghost chorus of their past victims (the kids again, maybe?). A rallying cry against Winnifred for Billy (ala Evil Dead the Musical’s God Damn you Woman). A ‘dance with the devil’ ditty for when the witches meet their master. A song praising the book. A continuation of the spell that turns Binx into a cat. The possibilities are endless!

The only possible sticking point are the effects. A large portion of the movie relies on the fact
that the witches can fly. But even in-movie this issue is solved by their brooms being stolen. The flight could all be implied, if done correctly. Jumping onto the stage with brooms in hand, perhaps. Or, if you’ve got a flying rig, use the sucker!
The final scene with Winifred sucking the lift out of Max could be done atop a gravestone (Billy’s perhaps?). The explosions and stonification (heh) could be turned into melting away, especially if trap doors are present. Maybe invoke the other most famous witch’s demise. Or even better, have the same devil from before come and collect them and take them back to hell personally. Have it turn out the resemblance was more than just superficial!

The point is, not only is this a great concept for a stage show, it’s totally doable. If I, who has never adapted anything for stage in my life, can come up with these ideas on the fly, imagine what a Broadway producer could do.

I know I will be.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Five new Halloween costumes that shouldn’t be

We've all seen lists detailing shameful Halloween costumes with ethnic stereotypes or sexy things that shouldn't be sexy. So, here's one for 2014!

5. (Sexy??) Loofah

I...I assume this is supposed to be sexy, but it looks more like flapper dresses gone berserk. What the actual helll?

4. Dead-eyed Rankin-Bass Santa


It's a 'mascot' Santa costume technically, but we all know what's going on here. HAPPY HALLOWEEN EARTH CHILDREN TIME FOR YOUR PRESENTS AND PROBING. HO. HO. HO.

3. Sexy Olaf

If I have to explain why this is awful, get off my blog. You have no place here.

2. Princess Wicked Witch of the West


Points for creativity, but not everything has to be a 'Princess'. This just makes me mad as a Wicked/Wizard of Oz fan. Grr.

1. Sexy Day of the Dead Senorita

Halloween and The Day of the Dead are NOT the same. The latter is a deeply spiritual holiday that honors the spirit and memory of deceased loved ones. And this mish-mash of cultural appropriation and 'sexy' is VERY offensive.