See the elusive girl geek as she acts in local theater! Watch as she writes manuscripts, fanfiction, and anything else that come out of her deranged mind! Gawp as she reviews movies that normal women would run from in terror! GIRL GEEK!
I love peanut butter. Reese's is my favorite candy, along with the many, many delicious permutations thereof.
Actual peanuts can get honey roasted and die. Something about the texture just puts me off. No chunky peanut butter, no peanuts on my sundae, nothing.
4. Tomatoes
Ohh, sweet nectar. Ohh heavenly purveyor of salt and vinegar. How I love thee on fries, potato pancakes, hash brow--
Who invited your fruity ass? The plain tomato isn't the worst offender on my list, but I don't like 'em.
3. Green Tea
Gimme a break, gimmie a break, break me off a piece of that as long as it's not liquid. It's not just a green tea thing: I don't like ANY tea. But these little beauties are irresistible. Mmm, Japanese-y.
2. Strawberries
Seeds. Seeds on the OUTSIDE. Ew. EW. POKEY. EWWWWW.
1. Coconuts
Never before have I heard my thoughts articulated so perfectly on screen. "I hate coconuts! It isn't the taste, it's the consistency." This man is me, aside from being different in every other possible way.
...Unless you're a Trek Nerd like me, or like roughly 50% of the people on the internet, according to 1990's humor.
Captain Picard IS better than Captain Kirk, you pretentious assholes.
So, if you already know this stuff, just wait until tomorrows blog. Or complain. Or whatever.
SPOILERS for the new movies, the old movies, Star Trek TOS and Star Trek TNG. You have been warned.
5. Kirk wasn't the original original series captain.
The first filmed episode of Star Trek TOS was called 'The Cage'. It was about the intended stars of Star Trek, Captain Christopher Pike, his female Number One, and the science officer, Mr. Spock.
"But Rebecca" you say "I know Captain Christopher Pike! He was the guy in the beeping chair and/or the guy who was Kirk's father figure in the new films."
And you're right to say it. He IS those things. Now. But originally he was going to be the star of the trek.
The puns are not stopping any time soon.
The network had issues with the pilot, including the fact that the second officer was a woman. Star Trek's liberal writers would later get back by having the first televised interracial kiss.
Yes, this happened FIRST. Interracial AND lesbian.
But it was the sixties and stuff didn't get thrown away. If you're a fan of Star Trek you've seen 90% of this episode in the two-part-er, The Menagerie . Frankly, I didn't much care for it either, female officer or no. So you're not missing much. Unless you count the new timeline and the fact that that doomed planet Pike went to and the women inhabitant is going to be lonely forever. Oh well.
4. Data's death meant nothing in the extended universe
Remember how much you cried when Data died in Star Trek Nemesis? No? Then watch this:
There are NO VERSIONS of the death scene that don't have uber dramatic music dubbed over it.
The takeaway is that Data is dead. Sacrificed himself to save Picard, and only a shadow of him remains in his younger 'brother' B4. He is gone, never to return in any Star Trek TV show or movie.
Nemesis was complicated.
Buuuuuuuut not the extended universe! In the comic series Star Trek: Countdown Data is alive in B4s body. B4 purportedly vacated the body and lives happily on the holodeck. So, in short, his death overall amounted to Nil. Take that, emotions!
3. Gene Roddenberry almost killed Star Trek TNG
Remember how much Star Trek the Next Generation sucked in it's first few seasons?
Here's a handy guide: No beard=no good
Well, a lot of that was due to Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek, deciding that in the future there would be no interpersonal conflicts, no rage, etc, because humanity had triumphed over it's baser emotional states.
2. TOS was cancelled twice
Remember the fit everyone threw when shows like Futurama and Family Guy were cancelled, necessitating a comeback? No? Remember when your nerd friend complained and the shows eventually showed back up? Yeah, I thought so.
Well, the same thing happened with Star Trek finished it's second season. That's right, the SECOND season. A letter writing campaign ensued, netting us the infamous third season.
Spock's brain getting sucked out and his body being controlled via remote control by Kirk and McCoy. That was the season OPENER
After season three, the show was cancelled for good. But, we eventually got the movies and Next Generation so it all worked out in the end.
This was the same episode from season 3 with the interracial kiss, btw. It's not the dumbest thing that happened.
All of this and more happened in the two-season long Star Trek cartoon show. Originally meant to replace the missing two years of he five year mission, the writers and cast from the original show went off the wall and did whatever they wanted.
The difference is the cartoon IS canon. It's the first place we find out what Kirk's middle name is: Tiberius. Need more proof? The adventures were written into Logbooks that expanded the episodes and made them longer. So, yeah. All that happened.
As did this.
So, the next time you think you've seen the dumbest thing in your favorite TV remember...THESE ARE THINGS.
The Redford Theater is like something out of a book. From the outside it’s nothing special: older marquee, flashing lights around it, Plexiglas ticket-taker window, the whole deal. Even the lobby is sort of standard.
Until you notice the little things: a grand piano with someone plaything music from the film. Cabinets full of memorabilia. Tee-shirts and fifty-fifty raffle tickets. popcorn made with REAL butter, sweet and wet.
Then you enter the theater.
The screen is framed by, of all things, the front of a Japanese pagoda. The colors are faded a bit, but that just makes it look real. Four figures, two men two women, are painted in wearing traditional Japanese dress. The colors on two are vibrant, repainted within the last few years.
Then you look up.
The ceiling is a night sky. Stars twinkle. Clouds drift across it, fading and forming as real clouds are wont to do. People shuffle in, heading to the stage to take pictures.
There’s a pipe organ. And a player piano. And an organist.
You sit, listen to medleys of classic music as clouds drift over twinkling stars and butter drifts through the cool theater air. It is magic. It is every movie theater you ever read about in every book: that magic place where you get your inspiration to write, become an actor, become a director. Anything can happen.
Last night I saw The Wizard of Oz in this wonderful place. It has never been more magical.
We all know about Arthur Weasly's obsession with Muggle stuff, and how he's considered 'a bit of a nutter' by his own family, let alone other wizards. The problem with this is you CAN'T just live in an exclusive wizard society, even in the eighties and nineties, when the books are set.
They use cars, so there needs to be a basic understanding of things like gas, batteries (a particular peculiarity of Arthur's), traffic laws, and just how to drive. All things used exclusively by Muggles, according to the books.
I understand they have their own hospitals, but the Muggle government has NO record of any Wizarding child's birth? They can't track their school records? What about Muggleborns? Do they just vanish off the rolls at age eleven?
What about vaccinations? Is that not as big of a thing in the UK as it is here? We saw what Molly thinks of Muggle doctors. They don't need casts for broken bones or stitches, okay. Can they magic away cancer? Heart disease? The need for new organs? What about brain damage? Or blunt force trauma? Do they have magic solutions for that too? What about getting shot? It could be an accident, easily. Can they magic out a bullet? Fix all the damage with a wave of the wand?
There has to be more to the 'we have a witch/wizard in our family, but we just can't talk about it.' Are Muggle family members who know magicked so they can't talk? Are there secret cults who know about the wizards but instead of just hating them, actively seek to kill them, like skinheads? What about support groups for siblings who didn't inherit magic ability? Or squibs for that matter. I understand they can't do wand magic, but what about potions? Or care of magical creatures? Are there government liasons between Muggle and magic besides the 'Hey we exist' call the PM gets? There must be, what with all the apparently empty/doctored by magic personal records flying around.
I know there are about a billion unanswered questions in the Harry Potter universe. These have just been nagging at me a lot lately. Love to hear your thoughts!
