Blogtober: Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns

Goosebumps was the scary TV show for 90's kids. For a show based on a cheesy book series, it wasn't half bad. Not as good as "Are You Afraid of the Dark?", but still a faithful(ish) retelling of its source materials.

With a legitimately creepy intro to boot!

Enter one of my favorite episodes, Attack of the Jack-O'-Lanterns. Basic plot: several kids, two good, and two bratty, go trick or treating...FOREVER!

Or at least until the bratty kids are scared straight by the alien bffs of the two good kids. Yaaaaay.

AotJOL didn't lose much in the transition from page to screen. The Pumpkin head aliens are...okay.

Ehhh...spooky? Or just withered?

The actors are typical kid actors. Not the worst, but not amazing.

The real fun of this story comes from the creepy adults passing out candy, the 'for the greater good' esq chanting, and the bratty kids GETTING WHAT WAS COMING TO THEM.

Hm. Another story where adults aren't to be trusted and bullies get what's coming to them. Hooray for common psychological issues!

There are better Goosebumps stories, but this is my favorite of the Halloween-based ones (surprisingly few of them that there are). Still, I give it two pumpkin heads out of five. Unless you're really feeling nostalgic, just skip to an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark.

Blogtober: The Honking

Futurama is one of the few shows that I watched new from it's premier episode, and one of the fewer that I followed to completion (all four of them).

"Wanna go 'round again?" 

The Honking is the closest the series comes to a Halloween episode. It takes the basic plot and tropes from the original Universal Studios The Wolf man and futures it up. Bender falls under the curse of the Were-Car and kills innocent people every night.

He's no Lon Chaney, but he'll do.

Bender is fated to kill Fry, unless they can murder the original Were-Car.

Shown here, attacking Calculon. It's complicated.

This episode, while not creepy, plays on all the great tropes: an eastern-European village with a secret (populated by religious robots), a gypsy fortune teller (robot), a haunted castle (again more robots). There's even a bit of Scooby Doo thrown into the mix, though that's resolved in the first act.

This is just a fun, classic episode that touches on the horror tropes of the 30's and 40's. For non-regular viewers, it can stand alone well enough.

There's another episode that feels like this in tone, but is closer to 70's/early 80's horror like An American Werewolf in London, or The Wicker Man, repleate with conspiring villages, foggy moores, and misunderstood monsters. But it's not quite as good as The Honking.

Though it does have a bone-sucking creature named "Mr. Peppy."

If you want something Halloweeny in tone, but without pumpkins everywhere, this is a prefect watch.

Blogtober: Ernest Scared Stupid

Ernest P. Worrell, played by the great, late Jim Varney, was the star of everything from Mellow Yellow ads to 9 feature films (12 if you count the ones planned before Varney's death). But I know him best from his two holiday movies: Ernest Saves Christmas, and Ernest Scared Stupid.

This says it all.

This movie hits most of the classic Halloween kids flick tropes, but manages to be entertaining, thanks to Varney (and Eartha Kitt). Please note, I didn't say 'good'. Just entertaining.

So, what happens in this "Wacky!" comedy for kids? A troll steals terrified children's souls and seals them into wooden dolls.

Brought to you by the people who made you terrified of clowns.

This movie scared a lot of kids (not yours truly, but I digress). So many, that it was the last Ernest film released by Touchstone Pictures (AKA Disney). Because Disney hates scaring kids.

Canonical!

Anyway, Ernest is the only adult in town who believes the terrified kids (aside from Eartha Kitt, but she's playing a character that's called crazy more than once). Also, he released the troll, so he's got a stake in this too.

The movie, while scary for small children in conventional ways (evil troll, bullies, etc) stuck with me for one central theme; adults will not help you.

Multiple kids tell their parents about the troll and are dismissed. Fair enough. But then kids start vanishing. The children beg not to be forced to leave their homes, for fear of the monster. Maybe at this point, somebody (perhaps the COP father of the main kid?) should have said "What if there's some weirdo dressed in monster makeup out there, trying to kidnap our children? Maybe someone should look into it."

NOPE! The Moms and Dads just dismiss the kids fears over and over and over again. This is a common trope in most kid-centered movies, from Hocus Pocus to Paranorman. But here, these kids are basically getting murdered. The kids from the start of the movie are in doll form for 50+ years.  And the last thing we see/hear any of the kids doing in screaming in terror. This is serious business, and the grownups are useless at best.

As an adult, this puts a whole new fear into the mix. What if your kids were in danger, and you dismissed their pleas for help? You, who are supposed to be their protector above all else?

The shitty audio only makes the screams more visceral.

Replace that Troll with a human predator, you've got a cautionary tale wrapped in delicious Halloweeny goodness.

As a childless adult who no longer cares if other adults believer her wild tales, what treats or terrors does this movie have for me? I love Varney and Kitt's performances. I love the practical effects. I love the cheesy 90's aesthetic, and the real creepy feeling the Troll manages to convey. It's one of my favorite nostalgic Halloween movies.

ERNEST SCARED STUPID colors

by pop-monkey

I give Ernest Scared Stupid six wooden doll children out of ten. A bit better than your average kids flick, but don't expect to get the same joy out of it as your six year old.