Friday, September 5, 2014

Five funny gifs

Happy Friday!



Thursday, September 4, 2014

The smell

The embalming room is in the basement. I work on the first floor. Smells from dead bodies should not be an issue. But there are always exceptions to the rule.

This weekend, a director serviced a body decedent who died a month before he was discovered. In his house. After Michigan July. I won't repeat the description so you can sleep tonight, but maggots were the tip of the iceberg.

So yesterday and today, I have been enjoying the stench of industrial-grade cleaner with a subtle aftertaste of month-old dead body.

Because I AM NOT SEARCHING FOR THAT!

Do I win 'worst job of the moment'? Yes, unless you were the embalmer. *Shiver*

The smell isn't as bad as you'd think, thanks to the cleaner. I've smelled worse at other jobs: the stink of a rat rotting in a warehouse wall, swollen to the size of a groundhog was the worst. It's more the knowledge of what caused the smell.

This isn't a common occurrence, even in funeral circles.  The other directors were properly horrified by the whole thing. At least I'm not alone in that.

Hooray for corporate bonding. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

The show must go on

Fenton's production of Shrek is/was/has not been the luckiest show. Our Shrek got sick and nearly missed opening weekend. I got sick for the second and third weekend of shows. Props were busted, costumes lost, the usual theater rigmarole.

None of that comes close to death.

One of my castmates lost their mother, very unexpectedly Thursday night. Today is Friday. We're getting a replacement and need to be at the theater asap to run scenes. I work until five, but I'm trying to get out at four so we can do as much as we can. Both Bahamute and I have scenes with the character. We need to be there.

There's always drama backstage. People drop out or are forcibly replaced. But not this. Never like this.

I think of all my castmates as friends, but this person is someone I've known (and sadly lost touch with) for years. We're not close, but we're friends. I left a facebook message saying if there was anything Bahamute and I could do, please tell us. I want to do more.

I hope the cast is doing something together for them. I will suggest it, if something is not in the works.

Several of us had a conversation last week about how theater is family, and how we're there for each other when our bio family screws us up. Normal families don't raise theater kids, to paraphrase a certain smart cookie. We're screwed up, but we're there for each other. Sometimes that's all we have.

A member of the family lost a member of their family. We are going to help.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Five Stupid Products

5. The Back-Up (under the bed gun rack)


Why keep a gun on your nightstand when it can be under your bed? For $39.95 you can keep the monster under your bed armed and dangerous!

4. Spray-On hair.

They can't even make it look good in the promo picture. It looks like you spray-painted your head. Congrats for a realistic product photo!

3. The Privacy Scarf


Now you can watch porn in public and not be judged. Nobody will know what's up.

2. The SpeedFit

I can't even make a joke about this. It's beneath my dignity.

1. Ahhh: Toilet Paper Foam Moistener


I get replacing wet wipes, that aren't supposed to be flushed. But what about WATER?! Jeeze...

Monday, September 1, 2014

At least it's shark week

Shark Week is back, amid new controversy. Last year it was a fabricated Megalodon documentary. This year it's a fake Jaws-esq great white.

In Ferguson, riots and tear gas are the order of the day in the wake of the Michael Brown shooting. Journalists are being arrested for reporting it.

Robin Williams hung himself. His daughter was harassed by trolls online with photo shopped images of the death.

People are asking what happened to our world. Others say it's always been like this, and these are the latest blips on the radar.



I don't want to say things are terrible and they're going to always be terrible. Things do get better. Crime rates are dropping, and have been for some time. Civil rights march on (slowly, but surely). Activism is working. Decrying the wrongs does get us somewhere.

But like Shark Week, the bad will return. People will get shot. Mental health will effect lives. The media will ignore the real problems and tell us that Discovery Channel is a bunch of dicks for fooling us with shark and Mermaid documentaries.

Bad things will happen. But we don't have to pretend it's new.