ABC TALKED TO MEEEE!

HOLY CRAP.

ABC: Best pics and Screengrabs

If anyone knows good eats, it's this guy.

Short answer....nope.

Photoshop: so easy a sleazy resturantour can do it.

Please don't breed.

Mmm, that's good troll food!

Poor bastard. And he's allergic to cats.

That should do it! They've solved the internets!

The Balroug is her new Sous chef.

I'm sure there will be more of these, as the insanity continues. Enjoy the circus while it's in town!

ABC, easy as OMG

Update on the ABC insanity: The fired waitress gave an interview. Basically, she says she'll never go back and that people just want in for the spectacle. Right on the money, Kid.

While I slept there were multiple posts on all the Facebook pages. There's a grand re-opening scheduled for the 21st, they hired a new PR firm, and of course, insulted customers left and right. The trolls are eating well.

This is one lesson Amy and Samy just won't learn.

The Star Trek Into Darkness Midnight Express

Since I was as the midnight release last night, I understand that virtually NOBODY will have seen the movie yet. As such, I 'll post a mini-review of the midnight experience for now, and a more spoileriffic one later.

After grabbing a quick bite and some snacks from the local Kroger, Bahamute and our friend Millie headed to the MJR Theater. We were there by 10:50 for the 12:05 showing. So, we picked our seats (middle of the last row), and waited. And waited. And nattered. And waited. And it was fun, as it always it.

Hooray meatspace interaction!

To my disappointment, the theater didn't have many patrons. Maybe it was because a 3D showing was playing at 12:01. Maybe it was because the release had moved to Wednesday night for unknown reasons. But there were only about 20 people, making it a strangely intimate experience.

Another small annoyance was the trailers: there were only three, and only one was new. Granted the new one was a Hangover Expy starring Robert Di Niro, Kevin Kline, Morgan Freeman, and Michael Douglas. Totally awesome!

So, how was this in comparison with the Iron Man 3 midnight showing? QUIETER. But no less epic. In fact, I liked STID more than Iron Man 3. Ahh, that felt good.

Now I'm off to sleepwalk my way through my shift. Totally worth it. Wish me luck.

ABC: The insanity continues. UPDATED

They just keep making new Facebook pages. I think this is vague chronological order:

The Original

2.0

The support page with 'Night Admin'!

3rd page where they announce that they've receive threats and are closing for safety reasons.

Bonus: Their Twitter!

Sorry Samy, no stopping this train. The Internet is serious business. Mark my words, they'll be suing (or trying to sue) Gordon Ramsy soon.

 

ABC: GLORIOUS DAY!

I  don't give a rats ass about reality TV. Usually. But for Amy's Baking Company, I'll make an exception.

If you're not in the know, ABC is a company featured in the season finale of Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares: a show where Chef Ramsey tries to help struggling restaurants make something of themselves. After hearing that the owners of the show were going crazy on Facebook, Reddit, and Yelp, I had to take a look.

SWEET. JESUS.

To sum up: These people are pants crapping INSANE. I thought I had it bad at the now defunct Il Posto. Johnny has nothing on Samy (though the two look alike, down to the bags, silver hair, accent, and gold chains. My Dad woulda laughed his ass off at this guy). Amy is God's gift to the world, and if you're a hater, you're obviously know nothing about food. She told Chef Ramsey that he was wrong about his under cooked pizza.

But the fun doesn't stop there. There are several facebook pages (periodically on and offline) where the couple just won't stop talking about the FBI, haters, and how they are beautiful, sane people. Take a look:

This is lovley. 

You call yourself a Christian?

But the most amazing thing comes from the  "I support Amy's Baking Company Bakery Boutique & Bistro 100 percent" page.

You read right. They are comparing people complaining about their food to TERRORISM and MASS MURDER. And they just will not stop. Constant posts, replies, threats of bringing down the FBI on the "hackers" who posted on their pages. They do not understand about feeding the trolls. It's amazing that people could be this oblivious.

Even Amy's "three little boys trapped in cat bodies" have gotten online to defend their Meowma.

I think this sums it up best:

Welcome to the internet, Samy and Amy. Can't wait to see what batshit stuff you come up with while defending your frozen ravioli and defaming Gordon Ramsey's midget porn double's death by badger. Sadly, they took this down before I could get a screencap.

RIP Percy Foster. Too soon.

Here's two more sites with their screen capped insanity. Enjoy the rants that make Westboro look almost reasonable.

Seeing Star Trek Into Darkness tonight!

Tomorrow I'll have a review, but today I'm reveling in seeing my first Star Trek movie on the big screen after seeing all of Star Trek TOS and movies 1-6 (plus the reboot). SO HAPPY! ILLOGICAL, BUT HAPPY!

On a side note, my boss just threw all his papers on the floor and guilted me into cleaning them up. Whatever. Still seeing Star Trek.

11 years

Eleven years ago today I started dating my fiancee Bahamute. We were 15, Freshmen, and fresh out of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. He was a Eunuch and I was a Courtesan. So, love at first sight.

Lust at first sight, actually. He looked like this:

(The one in the middle with the pointy ears. I'm on the side, in orange)

And my only thought was 'Who's the cute guy with the long black hair?' Back in those days he dyed it. 

His actual hair color is dark brown, so when he grew it out a few years back it was no big change. He loved me when I went Platinum blond for Ulla, so who was I to complain?

                                    

But I digress.

Eleven years. We've been engaged since February, and the most common comment after congrats is "It's about time!"

We've never been an on again off again couple. We've had fights of course, but not going to the same high-school and only seeing each other every three days or so for several years helped immensely. We've admitted: we were annoying in high-school. But by only annoying each other every few days, we stuck it out. Now we're living together (over 2 years), planning our wedding, and still going strong. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder. 

In any case, I'm planning my wedding, going to The Motor City Comic Con on Saturday for our anniversary date, and hanging out with Bahamute's brother and his boyfriend tonight for dinner. Because, as Bahamute says, "We're happening people."

I love that man so much.

In case you were wondering, here's a current pic. And yes, that wolf is real. SO EPIC!

So Erma Bombeck was telling the truth

My nephew has cancer.

I've had Erma Bombeck's book I Want to Grow Hair, I Want to Grow Up, I Want to Go to Boise (Children Surviving Cancer) for years. I used to imagine what I'd do if I got cancer. Would I be brave? Would I pack it in? Would I cry over losing my troublesome hair?

Now it's my three year old nephew and I'm scared shitless. His Mother just called me in tears. She's one of my best friends, and we work together. I see her almost every day. I've been friends with her since she was pregnant with the boy: I've literally known him his whole life. I gave his his first nickname, Monkey Baby (he hooted when I held him six hours after he was born).


Our boss just left. I haven't told him yet. Her husband was in earlier before they got the MRI results in to tell him she may take a few days off. I don't expect to see her anytime soon.

My nieces are seven and (almost) six. Do they know? Will they understand? Such smart, sweet girls. They still talk about the the time I babysat and we ate cookies and watched Scooby Doo on Zombie Island. I've offered to watch them whenever needed. That offer will stand. I love those girls. I love that boy. I love that family: her father is officiating my wedding next year.

I called Bahamute and told him what my friend told me "The doctor used words like Oncologist, and Tumor, and Malignant."

He was quiet for a moment. "He's only three."

"I know." I explained that her husband came by to talk to Steve before this happened.

"He's only three." He hasn't heard anything I've said. I understand.

"I know."

"...I have to call Mom." He hung up. I don't blame him. His Mother is his rock (well, her and I). I can't imagine telling my Mother. She loves kids. She's good with them too, doting on her grand nieces. She'll go to pieces over this.

I look at my stack of work. I'll lose myself in it shortly. I won't call my other friends. If they ask me to I will spread the word, but for now it'll rest. Good news will stay and bad will refuse to leave. Jewish wit.

I joke my way out of stress. That's over. I am the shoulder to cry on, the friend to lean on from here on out. I'll joke with them again. Someday. Sometime. When they need it. Please God, let me know when to be funny and when to be serious. Let me know how to handle them, not too gently and not too harsh. Please.

I don't know if I'll post this to facebook. Not yet. Let my nonexistant followers find it first. Let my best friend from high school look it over and tell me what she can: she's been though more loss than me. I can't be the bearer of this news.

I want to go home. To what? Cry on Bahamute's shoulder? Sit and wait for news knowing my friends are in Detroit losing their shit? To try and write my unpublished novels, fanfiction, or a youtube review script? No. I'll stay. There's work. And she will have a job to come back to. I can write more later, off the clock, when the numbness is gone. My sternum hurts.

I wish I was on better terms with God right now. It hasn't been very good since my Father left. But I'm trying.

Prompt #4 Erratic

My eyes hurt. The headache I’ve been fighting since 6am isn’t going anywhere, meds or no meds. It’s at bay. I need to finish my work. I’m alone today. My assistant’s son is sick.

I used to get migraines regular as clockwork. Now they come sparsely. When they show, I usually get meds in time to hold off the worst. Now it’s like a sinus headache. Persistent, low pain that’s somehow worse than the head splitters.

I read once that there are no nerves in your brain, and the scientists don’t know that much about headaches. Science is erratic too. 

Cabin in the Woods : Hell yeah!

If you haven't seen the movie STOP READING THIS. Right now. I'll wait.

I will not wait this long.

Everybody not in the know gone? Good. Take a deep breath, guys. This is me in full-on fangirl. I'll try to limit it.

OMG!! THOR WAS HOT WITH SHORT HAIR, AND THE STONER WAS HILARIOUS, AND EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT, THEY ALL DIED ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUGH!

Okay, better. We can proceed as usual.

A Cabin in the Woods is one of those rare films where the Trailer doesn't spoil everything,the actors are perfectly cast, the plot makes sense, the scares are actually scary, and the black humor is on the ball. Could I have expected less from the genius behind Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog?

The man knows what he likes.

Since you've already seen the movie (why else would you be here?) I won't rehash the plot. What I'm going to do is applaud the film on the whole. I recently re-watched Evil Dead II, and the loving homages to the 'people dying in the woods' film genre are so varied and deep set. It's a wonderful film. It's so good I'm sorry I only paid $1 for a used copy at FYE.

No Jewish jokes. You know who you are.

So, with literally EVERYONE dead, where does that leave us? Sadly, without a sequel. Not that I can think of any way a sequel could be made. Bahamute has a few ideas, but I think I'm happier with it over. You NEVER see an end of the world flick where literally EVERYONE DIES. It's refreshing.

Also, the coffee-cup bong? That was awesome. I don't partake, but I can appreciate craftsmanship.

Almost as awesome. Almost.