Happy Friday!
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Friday, June 27, 2014
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Five Broken Things in my office right now
You'd think a business that takes care of the dead would be pretty on the ball. You're wrong. Guest starring Dilbert comic strips, because I CAN.
5. The payment device
When I started here back in January, we had two methods of payment: Cash/Check, or credit card. The cash/check was taken, copied, and the client family given a receipt. The credit card was swiped through a standard credit card reader, family given receipt. Easy. Until the complicated entry of payment into our computer systems, literally half my training.
Now we have something called an EPD, or electronic payment device that is supposed to scan checks and credit cards, and put the information directly into our computer systems. Except it's NEVER worked right. Credit cards don't scan and have to be entered manually. NO check, not even the narrow range of accepted types, has ever scanned. So, we give manual receipts and do bank runs, but with a small black lump starring smugly at us from the desk. How it mocks me.
4. The oven/microwave
Don't get me wrong, we have a fully functioning microwave. I don't work at a cave, or a lawyers office, like my last job. Problem is we have an oven and microwave set from the 1960s that just sits there emitting radiation. Also, people purportedly used to store beer in the oven (I've checked, its bone dry).
Aside from causing cancer, I assume, it's a spot to stack paperwork and plastic bottles. And nobody knows if its still functional, or flammable. Learning is fun!
3. Empty ketchup bottle.
Okay, not broken per say, but what do I eat my frozen fries with now? Nothing? Like a damned animal?
2. The old printer
This thing is five feet tall and several hundred pounds. On the second floor. In the break room. It's never leaving. I'm making my peace with it: it was here before I was, and will remain long after I've gone. There's talk about finding a charity organization that wants it, but nobody has the authority, least of all me, to do something about it. So...yeah.
1. Management on the whole
Long story incredibly short, my big boss is probably going to get demoted because of gross incompetence. If that wasn't enough, I was trained incorrectly in 50% of the things I learned, as was the person who trained me. I'm frequently told 'Don't listen to so and so, they' don't know what they're doing' when so and so is a higher rank and I HAVE to listen to him/her.
I'm not alone in this, but it is a troubling trend. Scott Adams, why hast thou forsaken me?!
5. The payment device
When I started here back in January, we had two methods of payment: Cash/Check, or credit card. The cash/check was taken, copied, and the client family given a receipt. The credit card was swiped through a standard credit card reader, family given receipt. Easy. Until the complicated entry of payment into our computer systems, literally half my training.
Now we have something called an EPD, or electronic payment device that is supposed to scan checks and credit cards, and put the information directly into our computer systems. Except it's NEVER worked right. Credit cards don't scan and have to be entered manually. NO check, not even the narrow range of accepted types, has ever scanned. So, we give manual receipts and do bank runs, but with a small black lump starring smugly at us from the desk. How it mocks me.
4. The oven/microwave
Don't get me wrong, we have a fully functioning microwave. I don't work at a cave, or a lawyers office, like my last job. Problem is we have an oven and microwave set from the 1960s that just sits there emitting radiation. Also, people purportedly used to store beer in the oven (I've checked, its bone dry).
Aside from causing cancer, I assume, it's a spot to stack paperwork and plastic bottles. And nobody knows if its still functional, or flammable. Learning is fun!
3. Empty ketchup bottle.
Okay, not broken per say, but what do I eat my frozen fries with now? Nothing? Like a damned animal?
2. The old printer
This thing is five feet tall and several hundred pounds. On the second floor. In the break room. It's never leaving. I'm making my peace with it: it was here before I was, and will remain long after I've gone. There's talk about finding a charity organization that wants it, but nobody has the authority, least of all me, to do something about it. So...yeah.
1. Management on the whole
Long story incredibly short, my big boss is probably going to get demoted because of gross incompetence. If that wasn't enough, I was trained incorrectly in 50% of the things I learned, as was the person who trained me. I'm frequently told 'Don't listen to so and so, they' don't know what they're doing' when so and so is a higher rank and I HAVE to listen to him/her.
I'm not alone in this, but it is a troubling trend. Scott Adams, why hast thou forsaken me?!
Not you. You're always with me.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Five Reviewers I Love
Title is self explanatory. Go!
5. The Nostalgia Critic /That Guy With The Glasses (Doug Walker)
This one is obvious, so I'm getting it out of the way early. Doug Walker may not have begun the online review as it's currently known, but he's one of the best and brightest. Even if you don't like his reviews, as many don't, you have to admit they're well-produced and he's done well with them.
Mr. Walker owns his own studio, produces a number of shows himself, and has appeared on Entrepreneur magazine. Not bad for some kid and his brother producing videos in the basement. I found Mr. Walker's website several years ago, and the rest is history. I've met him in person, and he was very nice, so that's awesome too!
This is a new feature on the show, 'What you never Knew'. As a huge trivia geek, I was surprised to be told things I never knew. It's short, give it a go!
4. Phelous (Phelan Portus)
Phelous reviews bad horror movies, bootleg toys, bootleg video game consoles, and a host of minor things. You had me at bad horror.
Notable for being the special effects guy for all of the anniversary specials, Phelous is...an acquired taste. His voice can be a bit grating (he's deeply Canadian), but something about his brand of humor speaks to me. He;s just so tired of everything, but can't stop himself from going on. If you want dry wit, this is the guy.
Here's a team up with NC on one of my all time favorite horror movies, Child's Play. Enjoy!
3. Obscurus Lupa (Allison Pregler)
Lupa, as she is usually called, reviews grade Z horror movies, grade Z family pictures, and Baywatch. There's a lot more to her shows (such as the hilarious Radu Reviews, based on the inept vampire from Subspecies), but those are the basics. She's the only female reviewer I've come across that I go out of my way to watch (sorry Nostalgia Chick!)
Lupa just speaks to me. The things she reviews are either things I already hate/love, or things I WILL hate/love. I don't know what it is, but every time I watch her videos it makes me happy. No other reviewer has a such a high pleasure and interesting content, specific to me.
Her only youtube links had Russian subtitles, but here's The Room. Classic!
2. The Cinema Snob (Brad Jones)
Snob is the only reviewer on this list that I didn't find on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com: I found Snob before he joined the site, so when they joined forces, I was thrilled. There are several very fun crossover reviews, but the meat of the Snob is...The Snob.
Imagine movies like 'Corpse Grinders' and 'Invasion of the Samurai Sluts from Hell!' give the Roger Ebert treatment, and you have a taste of what the Snob is like. He reviews mostly horror and bad theme porn (Musical, E.T., etc) under the Snob name, but has other fine personas such as...himself. He reviews movies and shows that never made it to general release (DRV-Hell) food and drink (Brad Tries) Kung-Fu (Kung Tai Ted) and more that you can see for yourself by visiting his fine site.
This is a guilty pleasure movie of mine, and I felt a lot more guilty after watching this. He also has Siamese kitties. EEEEEE!
1. MikeJ (Mike Jeavons)
I started watching MikeJ for the bad horror movies and shameful sequels. I stayed for the infomercial products and fad diet weeks.
There's just something so funny about him. Is it the Britishness that makes it work? Is it the down to earth disgust with the lack of effort in the things he tries, and the genuine surprise and delight when things go well? I think it is.
Also, he's adorable. Not 'I want to do that' adorable, but 'Aww, look a Boston terrier' kind of adorable. I want to hug him. Watch ANY infomericalism review, you'll be hooked. Go on!
5. The Nostalgia Critic /That Guy With The Glasses (Doug Walker)
This one is obvious, so I'm getting it out of the way early. Doug Walker may not have begun the online review as it's currently known, but he's one of the best and brightest. Even if you don't like his reviews, as many don't, you have to admit they're well-produced and he's done well with them.
Mr. Walker owns his own studio, produces a number of shows himself, and has appeared on Entrepreneur magazine. Not bad for some kid and his brother producing videos in the basement. I found Mr. Walker's website several years ago, and the rest is history. I've met him in person, and he was very nice, so that's awesome too!
This is a new feature on the show, 'What you never Knew'. As a huge trivia geek, I was surprised to be told things I never knew. It's short, give it a go!
4. Phelous (Phelan Portus)
Phelous reviews bad horror movies, bootleg toys, bootleg video game consoles, and a host of minor things. You had me at bad horror.
Notable for being the special effects guy for all of the anniversary specials, Phelous is...an acquired taste. His voice can be a bit grating (he's deeply Canadian), but something about his brand of humor speaks to me. He;s just so tired of everything, but can't stop himself from going on. If you want dry wit, this is the guy.
Here's a team up with NC on one of my all time favorite horror movies, Child's Play. Enjoy!
3. Obscurus Lupa (Allison Pregler)
Lupa, as she is usually called, reviews grade Z horror movies, grade Z family pictures, and Baywatch. There's a lot more to her shows (such as the hilarious Radu Reviews, based on the inept vampire from Subspecies), but those are the basics. She's the only female reviewer I've come across that I go out of my way to watch (sorry Nostalgia Chick!)
Lupa just speaks to me. The things she reviews are either things I already hate/love, or things I WILL hate/love. I don't know what it is, but every time I watch her videos it makes me happy. No other reviewer has a such a high pleasure and interesting content, specific to me.
Her only youtube links had Russian subtitles, but here's The Room. Classic!
2. The Cinema Snob (Brad Jones)
Snob is the only reviewer on this list that I didn't find on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com: I found Snob before he joined the site, so when they joined forces, I was thrilled. There are several very fun crossover reviews, but the meat of the Snob is...The Snob.
Imagine movies like 'Corpse Grinders' and 'Invasion of the Samurai Sluts from Hell!' give the Roger Ebert treatment, and you have a taste of what the Snob is like. He reviews mostly horror and bad theme porn (Musical, E.T., etc) under the Snob name, but has other fine personas such as...himself. He reviews movies and shows that never made it to general release (DRV-Hell) food and drink (Brad Tries) Kung-Fu (Kung Tai Ted) and more that you can see for yourself by visiting his fine site.
1. MikeJ (Mike Jeavons)
I started watching MikeJ for the bad horror movies and shameful sequels. I stayed for the infomercial products and fad diet weeks.
There's just something so funny about him. Is it the Britishness that makes it work? Is it the down to earth disgust with the lack of effort in the things he tries, and the genuine surprise and delight when things go well? I think it is.
Also, he's adorable. Not 'I want to do that' adorable, but 'Aww, look a Boston terrier' kind of adorable. I want to hug him. Watch ANY infomericalism review, you'll be hooked. Go on!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Five book I'm in the middle of, right now.
I never do things by halves. I will finish all these babies in due time.
5. Temeraire (book 4): Empire of Ivory
I've spoken before about how much I like the Temeraire series, so I won't do a big rehash here: Set during the Napoleonic wars, dragons exist and are used in Europe's fighting forces. In this book, Captain William Lawrence (Formerly of the Navy, currently of the Aviators) and Temeraire go back to Africa (Oh yeah, they've been to Africa before) to find the cure to a disease killing off England's dragons.
I'm 'reading' this as an audiobook on days I walk home from work, usually a couple of times a week. This is slow going, and I have a two more books to get through before I get to the physical books. I've been through all of them before EXCEPT the latest one, which is why I'm refreshing myself. At this rate I'll be done by Christmas.
4. The Dresden Files: Storm Front (Book 1)
This is another audiobook in a lengthy series with a new volume, but that's all the similarity it shares with Temeraire. Wizard Harry Dresden is a P.I. in Chicago, saving people from the dangers of the NeverNever, including, but not limited to, other Wizards, Witches, Demons, Vampires (Three kinds!), Werewolves, Ghosts, Fae, and a host of other things you wouldn't want to meet without your pentacle and staff at the ready.
This is what my Husband and I listen to on our 45 minute to an hour long trips to rehearsal for Shrek: The Musical. We're speeding through it, and it beats having to find new music for each trip. Hearing 'What is Hip' from The Drew Carey Show album will only be fun for so long.
3. The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside 'The Room'
I'm only into the prologue, but I can already tell it's gonna be good. This book is written (and signed! Thanks Nancy and Jason) by one of the co-stars of the infamous film, The Room, Greg Sestero. This book is being made into a movie, ala Shadow of the Vampire. I've already got several people lined up to borrow it when I'm done. More on this story later.
This is what I read when I'm out and have no wifi, as the book currently shares a bag with my Chromebook, Tyrion.
2. The Annotated Wizard of Oz (Centennial Edition)
I'm still in the intro to this as well, but the intro is about a hundred pages on the life of L. Frank Baum, so that's excusable. An EXHAUSTIVE book in the vein of the classic Annotated Alice, this weighty tome delves into the history, mythology, allusions, and subtle wit behind the classic Oz. It's my all-time favorite movie, and one of my favorite books (I already own all 12 of the Baum written Oz books, and have read many of them).
This is what I read when I'm alone at home.
1. Sandman: The Kindley Ones (Book 10)
The classic series by Neil Gaiman about the king of dreams, Morpheus. I've read through the series several times since High School, but this time is to new purpose: new Sandman comics are being published! I have several in my possession as we speak, but I'm putting off reading until I finish the old ones. I'm on the penultimate book now. Yaaaaay!
This is what I read when I'm getting ready in the morning.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Five mini-rants
There are just some things I can't make a huge deal about, but need to be said. So, here's five mini-rants to cover some small, but crucial, points of annoyance.
5. How to Catch a Flying Saucer and Santa Clause
No, this kid's book on UFOs and aliens doesn't tell you how to booby-trap the chimney. What it does do is say (I'm paraphrasing a bit, it's been almost 20 years since I last read it) 'Most people think UFOs are made up, like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus.'
I was about nine when I read that, old enough to know about the tooth fairy. That was how I learned there was no Santa. In a book AIMED AT YOUNG CHILDREN. Children too young to know any better. This book probably ruined both Santa and the Tooth Fairy for a few curious tots. A book, one of the few things I had as a kid that was like friends, hurt me. It's a scar that's never quite healed.
4. The alarm clock noise
It scares me awake. As much as I love a good scare, this isn't the time or place. I end up panicked for most of the morning. Not good.
One of these days I'll buy a clock radio and be done with that pink monstrosity. But for now I'm cheap, and can usually wake up before the alarm. Yaaay.
3. Meijer
Why do you clean four aisles at once? Why are they always the ones I need? Now I've got ground beef, but no taco shells, seasoning, or picante sauce. I've got chicken, but no tortillas. I've got applesauce cups, but no fruit snacks.
If other places were open twenty four hous, I'd go there. But this was 11pm! Not even that late! Do it at four AM when the only shoppers are vampires, meth addicts, and possibly still me and my friends but it's 4AM and cleaning is a lot more understandable.
2. Christian Mingle ads
I'm married. WHY are these all over my websites? I've never visited Christian Mingle. I've never visited a DATING SITE. Yet they are freaking everywhere. Why? What box did I check? What link did I view? I'm so confused.
Yes, I'm aware this blog post will not help matters. THAT I at least understand.
1. The fifth thing
It's hard to come up with five topics for these blogs sometimes. I'll st there with four perfectly good subjects, then sit around like an idiot trying to figure out #5. I've given up a few times and gone with four, but that just feels incomplete. Why do I have so much difficulty sometimes getting to five?
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