Five mini-rants

     There are just some things I can't make a huge deal about, but need to be said. So, here's five mini-rants to cover some small, but crucial, points of annoyance.

5. How to Catch a Flying Saucer and Santa Clause

     No, this kid's book on UFOs and aliens doesn't tell you how to booby-trap the chimney. What it does do is say (I'm paraphrasing a bit, it's been almost 20 years since I last read it) 'Most people think UFOs are made up, like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus.'
     I was about nine when I read that, old enough to know about the tooth fairy. That was how I learned there was no Santa. In a book AIMED AT YOUNG CHILDREN. Children too young to know any better. This book probably ruined both Santa and the Tooth Fairy for a few curious tots. A book, one of the few things I had as a kid that was like friends, hurt me. It's a scar that's never quite healed.

4. The alarm clock noise

      It scares me awake. As much as I love a good scare, this isn't the time or place. I end up panicked for most of the morning. Not good.
     One of these days I'll buy a clock radio and be done with that pink monstrosity. But for now I'm cheap, and can usually wake up before the alarm. Yaaay.

3. Meijer

     Why do you clean four aisles at once? Why are they always the ones I need? Now I've got ground beef, but no taco shells, seasoning, or picante sauce. I've got chicken, but no tortillas. I've got applesauce cups, but no fruit snacks.

If other places were open twenty four hous, I'd go there. But this was 11pm! Not even that late! Do it at four AM when the only shoppers are vampires, meth addicts, and possibly still me and my friends but it's 4AM and cleaning is a lot more understandable.

2. Christian Mingle ads

     I'm married. WHY are these all over my websites? I've never visited Christian Mingle. I've never visited a DATING SITE. Yet they are freaking everywhere. Why? What box did I check? What link did I view? I'm so confused.
   
     Yes, I'm aware this blog post will not help matters. THAT I at least understand.

1. The fifth thing

     It's hard to come up with five topics for these blogs sometimes. I'll st there with four perfectly good subjects, then sit around like an idiot trying to figure out #5. I've given up a few times and gone with four, but that just feels incomplete. Why do I have so much difficulty sometimes getting to five?