The IT Spot: Hocksetter

So, Patrick Hocksetter has been cast in the IT adaptation.

 The face of a psychopath...in the movie.

I have seen this kid in literally nothing, but he's also playing Jordan in Stephen King's CELL, which couldn't be more different. There, he's a scared prep school kid. Here, he'll be playing a murderous child psychopath. Spoiler alert: He dies in one of the most horrific ways I've ever read, even in a King book. Have fun with THAT film makers.

Most of the kid members of the losers club have been cast. They're all basically unknowns, which is great. Bev Marsh, the sole female loser, is the only one not cast. The adult casting for all the characters (all the human characters anyway) remains to be seen. I've already posted some of my ideal cast, but as a reminder:

Seth Green for Adult Ritchie Tozier (especially nice, since he played kid Tozier in the original miniseries)

Robert Sean Leonard for adult Bill Denbrough. I love him, and damnit, he needs more work. Plus, he and Seth Green are the same age.

 Other than that, it's wiiiiiiiide open. C'mon Hollywood. Don't let my cautious optimism go to waste.

Klown vs Clown

The two franchises responsible for my generation's fear of clowns are returning: The Return of the Killer Klowns From Outer Space in 3D in 2018 and Stephen King's IT in 2017.

So, why not sit down and compare these two disparate yet deliciously creepy franchises?

Outward appearance

Both Pennywise and the Klowns have colorful outward appearances. Gaudy neons and wild hair right out of the bigtop. The main difference between the two sets in their clown/klown form is that Pennywise looks like a person in clown makeup, and the Klowns have big thick lips, 'real' clown noses, etc.

One of the Klown's limiting factors is that they're not shape shifters; Pennywise can literally be anything in case you're not scared of clowns. Notable appearances include:

Old rotting lady/man.

Teenage werewolf

Big ol' spider.

I'd say the Klowns are ceepier in clown form, just based on looks alone. But when they open their mouths...

Vocals

 Pennywise is played by Tim Curry, and has his illustrious voice. It's not even fair!

The Killer Klowns don't say much (I think the only word is 'Pizza' and repeating a character's name with another character's voice), and they're randomly extra high or low pitched. It's a little unnerving, but these things don't rely on that at all.

Powers and abilities

The Killer Klowns have ray guys that turn you into a cotton candy slurpee, different ray guns that stick you inside a balloon (for later), a vacuum truck to suck up the cotton candy cocoons, a huge space ship shaped like a circus tent (and filled with zany rooms and mazes), mallets, puppets, acid cream pies, and 'magic bags' for holding tricks. They're aliens and clowns; if you can name something one of those villains has, these guys have it.

Even the puppets are packin'.

They're also gifted ventriloquists.

Pennywise can lure in young kids, tell a half-decent joke, and, oh yeah, SEE THE APPEARANCE NOTE ABOVE. Also, it can possess people, plague you with dead kids, and hide itself from grownups. So...yeah, gonna give it to Pennywise again.

Plus whatever the hell this balloon attack is.

Who are they after?

One of the few similarities between fanchises is who they're after; both Klown and clown are sucking the life out of an entire town. Pennywise just gets more time to do it.

What the Killer Klowns lack in Stephen King endorsement, they make up for with Titus killing.

Where are they from?

Actually, both sets of red-nosed ravishers originally come from outer space. Pennywise is from OUTER outer space, actually. Like, outside our dimension. And now he lives in a sewer.

They all have renters insurance down here, Georgie.

Weaknesses

The Killer Klowns can only be stopped by exploding their noses, and even then, you can only take 1 Klown at a time. Even their ship exploding didn't stop 'em, so humanity is doomed.

The Dickies say so.


Movie-verse Pennyswise is beaten with silver earrings and getting it's heart ripped out. So...yeah, giving it to the Klowns. I'd bring up the book, but you don't have an extra four hours for me to explain it.

So, what's my ultimate opinion on Pennywise vs the Killer Klowns? I like 'em both! Go watch them both!

5 Books I'm reading next.

With 500+ books in my personal library, and almost a hundred unread, I've got to get moving. I've made a vow not to buy any more books until I read some of the ones I already have. Now, to be fair, I basically immediately broke that promise since the last Temeraire book is coming out, and Joe Hill's newest book was just published, but hey, at least I thought about it.

\

I wish I could, JonTron.

With that in mind, I'm officially declaring my next five books. No more buying until these are read! Maybe public knowledge will help stem my literary urges. I've already purchased them, so no loopholes there either.

1. The Fireman: A Novel by Joe Hill

I have all of Joe Hill's other books, and I'm real excited about this one. I haven't read much about it, just that people are getting scales and bursting into flames. Intriguing!

Wasn't this a department in the ministry of magic?

2. Akira, Vol. 2 by Katsuhiro Otomo

No, I haven't seen the movie. No, I want to wait to see the movie until I've read it all. Yes, I read volume one. Yes, I know about Bartkira.

And now so do you.

3. The History of Hell by Alice K. Turner

A random find at 2nd and Charles, it purports to detail the history of negative afterlife locations through several cultures. No word on if Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light is involved.

Aww man.

4. The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis

I'm a big Narnia fan. Time to read more of C.S. Lewis's fine work...also about hell. Sorta.

No word on Phil's involvement here either.

5. League of Dragons by Naomi Novik
Epic series about talking, soldier dragons. The final book in the series. I'm happy, but also dreading it, since that means no more. I don't wanna talk about it any more.
 

 More awsome, accurate art by Daniel Govar here.

Ecto-Pathetic

So, several months after my initial Ghostbusters post, things haven't gotten much better. Dan Akroyd watched an early cut of the new film, pronounced it great, and the 'fans' have derided him for it. That's right, the man responsible for bringing us Ghostbusters is ALSO getting hate from the 'fans.'

Do I even need to say anything?

I'm pulling rank here, guys. I have the Ghostbusters comics, both movies, The Real Ghostbusters box set, and a semi-updated Ghostbusters Tumblr. I know more about the whole franchise than the average 'fan.' Aside from the new movie not possibly being worse than the worst parts of the existing franchise,  nobody has seen it yet. Trailers often misrepresent their films, and even if the trailers are totally accurate, the newest trailer looks FINE.

ALL the things I've said about the effects being undone, the best jokes not being farted out at a first glance, and the characters not being one-off copies of the originals has been validated. And even IF this movie was a Paul Blart-esc misma of lazy fart jokes and crummy effects (and I'm not saying it is) there's one thing everyone's forgetting:

IT WILL NOT RUIN YOUR CHILDHOOD.

Your childhood is over. It is unchangeable without benefit of a time turner, Terminaor, or DeLorean.

Also, this.

I've complained often enough about crummy entries in my favorite franchises to know that nothing can make me love the original incarnation less; Not a voodoo shark, not jump scares,  not midichlorians, not Rob Zombie (though I actually liked that one), not Rachel Berry, not an X-Rating, not censorship, not bad practical effects, not genera jumping, not even a shot for shot remake.

By all means, complain about bad movies, books, games, shows, and everything else you see that is sub par entertainment. There's no other way to make changes to the industry. BUT GIVE IT A CHANCE FIRST. Give it a chance. And remember, you still have access to the good.