See the elusive girl geek as she acts in local theater! Watch as she writes manuscripts, fanfiction, and anything else that come out of her deranged mind! Gawp as she reviews movies that normal women would run from in terror! GIRL GEEK!
Well, I did a full dissection of the trailer and took shots but NOTHING SAVED.
Frankly, I don't have the time or energy to recreate it. Short of it is, lots of book stuff, but none of it's being done exactly right, but that paid off last time, so whatever.
I really thought I was going to have more interesting pop culture stuff to blog about after taking a hiatus for so long. Maybe next time...
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Ok, seriously, in between when I originally finished this and publishing it, Jordan Peele announced he's developing a show about hunting Nazis in the 70s.
I also finished Steven Universe, so...that's gonna be an upcoming thing...warning you now.
I'm not going to get excited, upset, or anything about the Oz adaptation. If it ever sees the light (no producer is even attached yet). There have been dozens, if not hundreds of Oz adaptations. It's even been given the horror treatment before, in short stories, an RPG game, and a comic.
Oz is like Wonderland; there are countless adaptations, there will be countless adaptations, and throwing a dark spin on it will always be trendy. The MGM adaptation is my favorite movie, and direct all remake attempts on that have failed.
So why am I blogging about it now? So that in the years to come when casting comes out and trailers, and even the movie, I can look back and say: "Huh, I'm way too involved in this stuff."
So, why not sit down and compare these two disparate yet deliciously creepy franchises?
Outward appearance
Both Pennywise and the Klowns have colorful outward appearances. Gaudy neons and wild hair right out of the bigtop. The main difference between the two sets in their clown/klown form is that Pennywise looks like a person in clown makeup, and the Klowns have big thick lips, 'real' clown noses, etc.
One of the Klown's limiting factors is that they're not shape shifters; Pennywise can literally be anything in case you're not scared of clowns. Notable appearances include:
Old rotting lady/man.
Teenage werewolf
Big ol' spider.
I'd say the Klowns are ceepier in clown form, just based on looks alone. But when they open their mouths...
Vocals
Pennywise is played by Tim Curry, and has his illustrious voice. It's not even fair!
The Killer Klowns don't say much (I think the only word is 'Pizza' and repeating a character's name with another character's voice), and they're randomly extra high or low pitched. It's a little unnerving, but these things don't rely on that at all.
Powers and abilities
The Killer Klowns have ray guys that turn you into a cotton candy slurpee, different ray guns that stick you inside a balloon (for later), a vacuum truck to suck up the cotton candy cocoons, a huge space ship shaped like a circus tent (and filled with zany rooms and mazes), mallets, puppets, acid cream pies, and 'magic bags' for holding tricks. They're aliens and clowns; if you can name something one of those villains has, these guys have it.
Even the puppets are packin'.
They're also gifted ventriloquists.
Pennywise can lure in young kids, tell a half-decent joke, and, oh yeah, SEE THE APPEARANCE NOTE ABOVE. Also, it can possess people, plague you with dead kids, and hide itself from grownups. So...yeah, gonna give it to Pennywise again.
Plus whatever the hell this balloon attack is.
Who are they after?
One of the few similarities between fanchises is who they're after; both Klown and clown are sucking the life out of an entire town. Pennywise just gets more time to do it.
What the Killer Klowns lack in Stephen King endorsement, they make up for with Titus killing.
Where are they from?
Actually, both sets of red-nosed ravishers originally come from outer space. Pennywise is from OUTER outer space, actually. Like, outside our dimension. And now he lives in a sewer.
They all have renters insurance down here, Georgie.
Weaknesses
The Killer Klowns can only be stopped by exploding their noses, and even then, you can only take 1 Klown at a time. Even their ship exploding didn't stop 'em, so humanity is doomed.
The Dickies say so.
Movie-verse Pennyswise is beaten with silver earrings and getting it's heart ripped out. So...yeah, giving it to the Klowns. I'd bring up the book, but you don't have an extra four hours for me to explain it.
So, what's my ultimate opinion on Pennywise vs the Killer Klowns? I like 'em both! Go watch them both!
ALL the things I've said about the effects being undone, the best jokes not being farted out at a first glance, and the characters not being one-off copies of the originals has been validated. And even IF this movie was a Paul Blart-esc misma of lazy fart jokes and crummy effects (and I'm not saying it is) there's one thing everyone's forgetting:
By all means, complain about bad movies, books, games, shows, and everything else you see that is sub par entertainment. There's no other way to make changes to the industry. BUT GIVE IT A CHANCE FIRST. Give it a chance. And remember, you still have access to the good.
I sit on a glorious mountain of technological wealth (actually a saggy green armchair near the tech, but work with me people!). I gaze upon hundreds of movies and tv shows, internet reviews and skits, books procured over 28 years on this earth (or at least 18 years worth, my grade-schoold Calvin and Hobbes's have held up pretty well). I watch to find out who killed Laura Palmer (NO SPOILERS!) Read to see what horrifies Peter Straub, listen to the hilarious POV of Eugene Miriam, and even crush a few candies while doing it.
You may know him better as Gene.
I am entertained.
So what?
Am I sitting here, drugged by the various opiates of the masses, too caught up in fiction to care about fact? Am I a jaded Millineal who'd rather nod sagely at Jon Stewart than read the paper and find out things for myself? Is being entertained making me dumber, or a worse person?
No. Because all these wonderful (and sometimes mediocre) delights make me think.
Who killed Laura Palmer indeed? What is going on in Twin Peaks? Is it an X-Files like supernatural plot, or something psychological, hankering back to the days of film noir and Hitchcock?
What scares Peter Straub? What scares the other writers in the collection? Why do their ears scare me? Or not? How can I learn from their mastery?
How can I relate to the experiences of Eugene Miram? Why does his absurdest humor make me laugh? What is absurdity in humor? Is it Bugs Bunny getting Daffy Duck shot in the face? Is it better as a visual medium? Does absurdity in literature work outside The Hitchhiker's guide?
I don't know the answers to these questions. I don't think about them consciously as I watch, read, or listen (at least, not all the time. Sometimes, I am Abed).
Ultimately, it doesn't matter. What matters is knowing it's okay to just sit back and be entertained. Having something to talk about with friends, or strangers on the internet, or just yourself when nobody else cares. Being entertained is not the be-all end-all, but it isn't a crime either.
I will not feel guilty about sitting back and watching an episode of Law and Order in between editing chapters of my manuscript. I will not look at my DVD collection and sigh at my materialism. Many of the videos are presents from friends and family: a joyus reminder each time I see Bugs get one over on Elmer Fudd, or Michael Myers stab a teenager.
My friends get me.
It's okay to revel in escapism. It's okay to think critically about the things you view. It's okay to sit with friends and laugh and not think beyond 'Boy, this is fun!'
So if you'll excuse me, I have writing to do, and inspiration to view. Maybe not in that order.
