Scarecrow's Pants

So, in honor of LGBT pride month, Billboard released a list of the top 20 gay anthems. Somewhere over the Rainbow is number #14. Should have been higher in my opinion, but hey, I'm not LBGT.

My letter falls under the Q, or A however.

Something people have also attributed to The Wizard of Oz is Jack Haley's performance playing the Tinman as gay.

Now, if you're less of a Wizard of Oz fan than I (and lets face it, who isn't less of a Wizard of Oz fan than I) you probably haven't heard the interview where Haley says the voice he was using in the movie was the same one he used to read to his kids. I.E. at least not trying for a "gay" voice.

For more info on sounding gay, watch this. Seriously. It's fantastic.

More than that, I'd argue that the Tinman isn't gay because in the movie (unlike the original book or Wicked) he's just a being made of tin. No sexual organs, no sexual feelings, no purpose for the tinsmith to include those as options, if he even had the ability.

We can clearly see the lack of sexual organs here:

The Lion is a biological being, so presumably could be attracted to another lion (or whatever, I'm not here to judge). But of the animated inhumans, the only one you could make an argument for is Scarecrow, since he has pants.

Not that I'm saying he DOES have straw-man-bits. It's merely possible. And I'm sure there are a bunch of X-rated parodies where things go on, but I'm not looking for them, you sickos.

In short: let the Tinman be nothing, because he literally cannot be anything else. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you. But at least look at the logic and facts in this movie about magic shoes taking a small-town girl to a glittering city where she and her three male friends go to the salon.

....I may need to rethink my argument.

Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, and a couple of WTFs

Yet another out of genera Oz adaptaion is on its way! Maybe! Better start holding your breath!

 I'm not going to get excited, upset, or anything about the Oz adaptation. If it ever sees the light (no producer is even attached yet). There have been dozens, if not hundreds of Oz adaptations. It's even been given the horror treatment before, in short stories, an RPG game, and a comic.

If it's good, we'll get another movie to put with Tin Man or the newest Wiz. If it's bad it can go with Dorothy and the Witches of Oz, and Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return.

The best line in the film is a shitty gay joke.

Oz is like Wonderland; there are countless adaptations, there will be countless adaptations, and throwing a dark spin on it will always be trendy. The MGM adaptation is my favorite movie, and direct all remake attempts on that have failed.

So why am I blogging about it now? So that in the years to come when casting comes out and trailers, and even the movie, I can look back and say: "Huh, I'm way too involved in this stuff."

I need to use my time better.

And finish my DHMIS post...

Five Things that Piss me off about The Wizard of Oz franchise

The Wizard of Oz is my favorite movie. I own the L. Frank Baum books, I love Tin Man, Wicked, The Wiz, and even Return to Oz. So, what do I absolutly LOATHE about Oz?

5. Over 40+ books in the official cannon.

This is a case of archive panic. I haven’t even finished the Baum books, and there’s nearly thirty more in the official Oz cannon. Not to mention the literal HUNDREDS of unauthorized books. I will probably never be able to read them all. And it makes me sad. And by sad, I also mean just a bit angry.

4. Dorothy and the Witches of Oz.

Billy Boyd, what the hell? You were so good as Pippin, and now it’s all crap. ‘Seed of Chucky’ has been the high point of your post LOTR career. What happened?

This movie makes me so mad, I care barely even talk about it. But here’s a few of the worst things, just to give you an idea:

• Nick Chopper ISN’T the tinman. The tinman is a random robot that is never explained.
• The evil witch is a publisher, and could have killed Dorothy at any time.
• The effects are atrocious. Just in general.
• “I’m the scarecrow? I always knew I was different...I just thought I might be gay.”
• The fact that the idea of the Oz characters coming to our world and losing their memories could have been AMAZING.

3. Re-releases.

I own the 70th anniversary edition of The Wizard of Oz. It’s fantastic, packed with features, silent films, and memoriobilia.

Then the 75th anniversary edition came out. I can’t even tell what’s different, but it says there’s a new documentary. ‘What if there’s something you don’t know about Oz? What if it’s really new?’ The little voice niggles. ‘Just buuuuuuuy ittttt...’

And in a few more years we’ll get 80, 85, 90, 95, and 100. GAWWWWWWD.

2. ‘Sexy’ Wizard of Oz costumes.

Okay, this isn’t just an Oz problem, but it pisses me off a lot. No explanations, just look at these pictures of real, actual costumes FOR SALE. Why not a sexy Smurf?

Oh God, I take it back! I TAKE IT BACK!

1. There is an anus joke in a Wizard of Oz movie(trailer).

Please, play in the Oz sandbox. We’ve had wonderful things happen when people do. But this….just no. No for so very many reasons. The lazy animation style. The trendy adult jokes. The alluring cast that makes me want to see it in spite of how obviously awful it is. Just fuck off, people who made this.