Are you afraid of the dark?

There are several projects I should be working on right now; polishing the manuscript of my first novel, looking for agents to contact, writing up my proposal package, or working on chapter two of the sequel.

Fear is one of the things that keeps me from it; fear of rejection, of being told that the one thing I want to do with my life isn’t good, fear of my friend and family hating it. I’ve shown the unedited manuscript to three friends. One couldn’t finish it, due to heavy flashback. I eliminated them. One gave me constructive criticism to my face, but bad-mouthed the work to close friends and my boyfriend behind my back. The third gave me great criticism, but liked it over all.

So where does that leave me?

It’s not the most original idea, with the supernatural invading a mortal’s life. Man vs undead man. It’s got more variety than the most popular books in the genre, with vampires, ghosts, faeries, and a few creatures of my own design. But at its heart, it’s about relationships. Relationships between lovers, friends, enemies, the mortal world and what lies beyond; all colored with my friends and experiences.

‘So what?’ you say ‘All the best writers used their own experiences. Isn’t ‘write what you know’ the cornerstone of all writing?’

Then how do you explain H.P. Lovecraft? J.R.R. Tolkien? Ray Bradbury? All the greats who invented not just characters but whole worlds for the reader to lose themselves in?

All I want to create is a good scare. I’m not trying to be the next poet laureate. But I can spin a good yarn that people would like to read. I can make a person sound real; react to insanity as a normal person would. This is my greatest talent, and one I admire most in other writes: making characters ‘stay sane inside insanity’  as Richard O’Brien once penned. If I can make one person think ‘That makes sense. That’s what I’d do if I was being chased by a murderous Faerie.’ I’ve succeeded.

I will force myself to finish this project. If it never sees publication, that won’t be for lack of trying.

I just have to overcome my fear. Wish me luck.