Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The (Job) Hunter Games: One Month

It's been one month since my internship at the law firm ended. In that time I've applied for over 35 jobs, had two interviews (one with the County, one with a local school district), and a few small pet sitting things. I've eaten into my saving set aside specifically for the purpose, but I'm not out of money just yet.

I've learned to cook, bake, and scrape together a good meal with stuff around the house. I've worked on a few writing projects, cleaned a bit, and lost a little weight due to not wasting money on snacks and fast food.  I read books on how to interview, write a resume, and a cover letter; I have a few more checked out on screenwriting. If it wasn't for the money issue, I'd be perfectly happy to be a homemaker.

I feel ambition-less. You can only clean, cook, apply for jobs, and write so much before you run into a wall. Or at least, I can only do those things so much. I feel guilty when I see my fiancee go to work, and I'm at home doing so very little. I always try to have something to show him when he arrives: a newly-cleaned spot, a home-cooked meal, a blog post or youtube video. Anything to show I'm not just sitting here, being lazy while he works.

Guilty. That's how I feel. He's working and I'm here...doing this. This week I've got a pet and house sitting gig: the money is paying for our Christmas presents to the rest of the family. At least I can do that much.

He knows how I feel, and we're talking about it. But nothing is going to make me fell better. Not until I start bringing in income again. I've been the financial head of the family since my Dad died in 2009. I've had a job since the age of 16. I'm over the novelty of time off. I want to work again.

For today, it's back to applying, reading up on how to better present my resume, and pet-sitting with two adorable huskies. Maybe I'll even do a little more writing. 

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