Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Five things nobody tells you about the paranormal



    I’ve had many experiences in my life, from seeing a phantom face, hearing voices and footsteps, and being grabbed so hard by something that it left a bruise. But for all the ghost hunters and mediums on TV, there are still a lot of things nobody’s ever brought up. For instance...


5. Not everything is a ghost.


    I don’t mean in the ‘Oh, it was just a creaking door’ or ‘you were drunk’ kind of way. But not everything is a ghost. There are less definable things out there, from ‘spirits’ to ‘shadow people’ or just plain creepiness.


    Do I believe in lizard folk and world wide conspiracy? Not at all. I’m just saying the label of ‘ghost’ is used a bit more than necessary. We understand the concept of a ghost, even if we don’t believe. But a shadow person? There’s a lot of theories, but it comes down to ‘living shadows that come from nowhere, and we have no idea why, or what they’re doing.’ Brr. Give me great aunt Ethel any day.


4. Most women are psychic


    Call it Mother’s intuition, precognitive abilities, or latent PMS, but most women are to some degree psychic. When I’ve brought up my abilities (limited to an occasional precognitive dream) in a group of women EVERYONE will have a story to tell. Often a lifetime worth.


    I’ve met one man who has a similar ability, and again, only brought it up when a group of women were with him and already discussing it. If men also have this ability, they’re being tight lipped for fear of ridicule.


    Try it, ladies (and open minded men). Even if you’ve never had an experience that you remember, start the conversation. You’ll be surprised.


3. Being psychic is useless


    TV psychics are Bullshit. Psychics you pay are Bullshit. I have had personal experiences, and I still know these people are bullshit. Psychic ability varies in strength and talent, but there is no way in hell Sylvia Brown could look at a person and tell them how their loved one died. A psychic impression from a personal item? Maybe, but that’s one hell of a maybe.


    Your garden-variety psychic will be limited to gut instinct that may be a little stronger than most peoples, and an occasional precognitive dream or vision. That’s it. And even those are useless little snippets from everyday life. The best I’ve had? I’ve avoided pointless arguments with my husband, and stopped myself from biting my tongue. Woo-hoo! America’s Got Talent here I come!


2. Research doesn’t fix everything.


    In a TV show or movie, even a ‘reality’ show, an investigator will dig up something to explain what’s happening. In real life, this isn’t the case. My house has weird stuff going on the whole time I’ve lived there (AKA my whole life), but I have no idea why. There’s no deaths that I can find, no satanists, nothing. The place was built in the fifties, changed hands two or three times, and now my family owns it. End of story.


    Which doesn’t come close to explaining my last issue...


1. You can get used to anything.


    My bedroom is shaped like a shoebox. My bed was positioned lengthwise inside. I slept on the left side since I got out of the crib. 29 days out of 30 I had a nightmare that would keep me awake for at least an hour.


    It wasn’t until I mentioned this offhand to my brother in law that it struck me as odd. I never considered that other people didn’t get terrible nightmares every night of their lives.


    Why do I say this is paranormal and not just my wounded psyche? The nightmares abruptly stopped at age fifteen, when I switched sides of the bed. I didn’t notice they were gone, aside from vague relief. I figured it had to do with growing up.


    Then a friend mentioned whenever she slept over (on the left side, of course), she had the most awful nightmares.


    When I rolled to that side in my sleep? Nightmares. When other friends stayed over? Nightmares.


    I have no explanation for this. My bed is situated differently now, and when I sleep on the left I have no issues. Something about that corner of my room, not the bed itself, is the problem.

    The dreams were scary enough. The idea that I never knew anything was wrong for fifteen years is infinitely more terrifying.

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