With musical adaptations of Disney's 'The Lion King' and 'Beauty and the Beast' raking in dough, it's no wonder the mouse has tried others. 'Aladdin' is on Broadway right now, with 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' hot on it's heels. But who thought this was a good idea?
Mixing traditional Broadway structure with Cirque du Soleil style high-flying effects was a recipe for disaster. The original movie wasn't even a box-office smash, and the play's regional US tour was canceled. A major issue was the lyrics were derided by critics as weak and bland. One example: "My heart is beating faster, I must know more about her. ... She makes me feel so alive." Well, Tarzan only just learned English. Give him some time, maybe it'll perk up.
4. 'Spiderman: Turn off the Dark' based on the comic book 'Spiderman.'
This is a pretty famous example. Combine the crazy high-flying effects of Tarzan with a terrifying amount of accidents, and you get a train wreck people pay through the nose to see. It's one of those 'You have to see this, it's so bad' experiences. I know several people who have returned just to see the accidents.
Basically this for the music lover.
The reviews have been mixed, but most critics weren't impressed with Bono's score. Yes, that Bono. One reviewer said "...if I knew a less-than-precocious child of 10 or so, and had several hundred dollars to throw away, I would consider taking him or her to...Spider-Man." Yikes. Glad that hero won't be saving us anytime soon.
Yes, I like Nickleback. Do your worst, internet.
Often regarded as one of the worst musicals of all time, this show was so bad it had a book written about it. I'm a big fan of Stephen King, but whatever possessed him to let them do this is beyond me.
Damnit Pennywise, wasn't killing and eating children evil enough?!
It does have one good song. That is literally the only positive thing I've ever heard about this show. The writing is bad, the other music is bad, and the actors cannot save it. Even King fans have shunned it, yours truly included. Horror and musicals don't mix very well.
2. 'High Spirits', based on the straight show 'Blithe Spirit.'
Blithe Spirit is one of my all-time favorite straight (or non-musical) plays. A man's dead wife comes back to him after a seance and wreaks havoc with his life, including his new wife. It's a stitch, and has become a classic comedy show.
High Spirits takes that joy and rams it where the sun doesn't shine.
I did this show at the behest of a friend of mine when one actress had to drop out. I didn't sing, thank God. The show, unlike EVERY OTHER MUSICAL ADAPTATION EVER, does not turn dialogue into songs that moves the plot, or replaces scenes. It takes the straight show and crams in bad songs that don't move the show forward, and takes out none of the dialogue. It makes the show an HOUR LONGER and less funny. By A LOT. There's two songs devoted to objects (a bike and an ouija board respectively). Both sung by one character. Both utterly pointless.
I cannot express my dislike of this show strongly enough. But it doesn't hold a candle to my number one spot.
1. 'Lil' Abner', based on the comic strip 'Lil' Abner.'
This is known as 'The Show that Must Not be Named' among my few friends that did it with me. Again, I was only in this production at the behest of the director. And I sang. Dear God, did I sing.
Lil Abner was a comic strip back in 1909, and is still re-run occasionally today. But in the early 2000's, nobody knew what it was, or why anyone would do a musical based on it that premiered in 1956. But do it we did. And boy, did it suck.
The 'plot' is that Abner is big and strong. And that's about it. There's some stuff about the town he lives in being a nuclear test site as it's useless, an arranged marriage, and some guys losing interest in sex due to fruit from a tree. There's also an assassin named "Appassionata Von Climax" and the main character is ordered to commit suicide.
I wish I was kidding. If you ever hear about this play, STAY AWAY. You have been warned. This isn't even so bad it's good. It's just bad.
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