Monday, October 9, 2017

You know what's dumb?

The sequel to Rosemary's Baby, Son of Rosemary. That's what's dumb. And that's the book sequel, not the movie sequel which apparently also sucked.

Unlike my love of shitty so-bad-they're-good horror movies, I cannot stand bad book sequels. Son of Rosemary is neither funny, nor scary. It was written by the original author Ira Levin, so you can't claim someone else mucked things up.

Case in point.

It's been a while since I read this, but I remember the basic plot: after the events of the first book, Rosemary went into a magical coma for several decades, waking up in the 90s. Her son, now named Andy, claims he doesn't want to be the Anti-Christ. I remember him being very whiny and annoying. Anyway, Andy accidentally kills all humans or something.

And then his dad shows up.


Satan tells Rosemary that Hell is actually nice, and everything she's heard is a lie, and she should totally come live with him. Spoilers: HE'S LYING. HE'S THE FUCKING DEVIL. He actually says "I'm the Devil!" When Rosemary sees how horrible everything in hell is and complains. SINCE IT'S HELL.

But none of that is as bad as what comes next.

Rosemary wakes up.

Oh, wakes up from her coma, you asked? No.

Wakes up from a nightmare, and Andy is still about to ruin everything?

Nope.

Rosemary wakes up to discover the events of this book, AND THE EVENTS OF ROSEMARY'S BABY have ALL been a dream.

Rosemary's Baby never happened. That is canonical. The whole thing was a dream.

The last few lines try to make the dream a warming, and now Rosemary's scared to move to her new apartment. Fuck that. Fuck Ira Levin. That is the stupidest ending to anything, let alone the sequel to an acclaimed book.

This and the Wizard of Oz are the only acceptable dream endings.

I'm still so mad about this. Fuck Ira Levin.

No comments:

Post a Comment