See the elusive girl geek as she acts in local theater! Watch as she writes manuscripts, fanfiction, and anything else that come out of her deranged mind! Gawp as she reviews movies that normal women would run from in terror! GIRL GEEK!
Five things I never thought I'd enjoy. Pleasant surprises for all!
5. Mushrooms
The fungus among us. Yummy, yummy fungus. Aside from bacon, the only pizza topping I like.
That includes you, you lousy excuse for a pepper and lousier for a banana.
It probably started with Portabellos, as many good things do. It's a plant that tastes like steak! :D What's not to love?!
4. Bob's Burgers
No, not an actual burger. The surprisingly good cartoon. It has a money-wild kid played by Cheryl Wazzername. That's good enough for me. But the dad is also Archer. C'mon!
And don't get me started on the awesome awkwardness that is Tina.
And Gene! GEEEEENNNNEE!
So in short, much better than it looks.
3. Shrek the Musical
When I first heard Shrek was going to be a musical, I was dumbfounded. "This is gonna suck! There's no way this can be any good!"
I was wrong.
In fact, Bahamute and I are currently in a production of the show (Lord Farquuad and Dragon respectively. I get to kill him!). Buy the soundtrack. BUY IT.
2. Ticket to Ride
Monopoly meets trains. It sounds like the worst thing ever. But this board game is fast paced and fun. I turned into an evil railroad baron in about five minutes. Plus there's several different versions. America, Europe, Asia: see the world!
More fun than it looks. I promise!
1. Writing this blog
At the start, I thought this would be an occasional pleasure. But doing one every weekday (minus holidays and such) has really been fun. :D
For anyone who hasn't heard (though I'm writing this as it happens, so most people will know by the time it's posted), Edgar Wright, the genius behind Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World's End, has left the Ant-Man project. Marvel says the split was 'amiable' but I think that's a bunch of crap.
I'm part of a very small group of fans that gives a crap about Ant-Man. Edgar Wright co-wrote the script, and has been trying to get this movie made since 2006. I have waited almost ten years for this movie, whose 2015 premier date has not been changed to accommodate this.
I WAS CHEATED.
Marvel STOLE something I've been waiting for for eight years. They STOLE eight years of excitement and turned it into hate. THAT'S NOT FAIR. I want my Wright helmed Ant-Man. I don't want a TV Tropes 'What Could Have Been' page about how great Wright's original vision was that the studio ruined. I WANT MY MOVIE.
I don't care what Wright wanted to do that Marvel objected to, or how dumb/expensive/weird/destructive it sounded. His record stands for itself: It was going to be good.
What little chance the movie had of succeeding is gone. If it's a success it's going to be in spite of this loss, not because of it. But it won't. We're gong to get another Hulk: a character that can't sustain a movie by itself.
I know I'm just ranting. I don't care. I'm mad and I'm gonna rant. I get to be mad about this.
I don't want to give Marvel my money to see this movie, but I'm weak. They'll probably get my money.
I'm so tired to being told I'm getting a specific movie and getting something different. The Guillermo Del Toro Hobbit. Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Ash. A Batman movie with Harley Quinn. Sean Connery at Morpheus in The Matrix. Ghostbusters 3 (I blame that on Bill Murray, not the late Harold Ramis btw). A SANDMAN MOVIE. EVER.
Stop teasing me. Do something or don't. Don't halfway write a movie or cast it, release information prematurely and change it. If I had never heard about this movie or Wright being the director, then I wouldn't care about these changes.
I hate marvel of the information age.
UPDATE
A new director has been chosen (I knew this blog would take a while to be published). It's a man named Peyton Reed. His most recent movie was Yes Man with Jim Carrey.
The problem, besides him not being Wright for the project? He developed those horrible Fantastic Four movies that are now being rebooted. WHY THE FUCK IS MARVEL HANDING HIM ANOTHER PROJECT TO FUCK UP?! WHY?!
UPDATE
Peyton developed A treatment for Fantastic Four. It might not have been THE treatment the terrible movies got. But in the words of Yul Brenner "This doesn't mean that I like you."
Since I'm pretty sure I'm about to get a migraine based on my morning, I looked up some symptoms. I had no idea migraines even had common symptoms! I've been getting these since puberty, but less regularly than before. Here's hoping they'll be this predictable in the future:
5. Diarrhea
Self explanatory, but who knew the digestive tract could be linked to head pain? Smarter people than I.
4. Thirst
I try to keep properly hydrated, but this one is kicking my butt.
3. Loss of Appetite
I don't mind this one, but other's might. Like this poor woman who can't eat her...beans on toast, what the hell? She's not suffering, she's just British!
2. Difficulty remembering or saying a word
So, my mother is just constantly having a migraine. That explains a lot.
Or playing this.
1. Auditory Hallucinations
This is a new one on me, but I'll keep you posted. So far, only happening when I'm waking up and when I'm alone at work. So far.
I don't know if it's the heat or something in the water, but both I and my husband have been having...odd nights lately. Get your heads out of the gutter, it's not a sex thing. No am I pregnant.
I typed 'Not Sexy' into Google and this came up.
For the past two mornings (as of this writing) my husband has been talking in his sleep. It's not wholly unexpected: when we were dating he'd sometimes fall asleep on the phone and it'd take me a while to catch on. It'd go something like this:
Me: So I blach blah blah blah...
Him: (Weird little voice) ...Yeah?
Me: Honey, are you asleep?
Him: (Still in the voice) ...Yeah.
Me: Okay, go to bed sweetie.
Him: 'Kay.
Me: I love you, okay?
Him: ...Luff you...
And the next day he'd call and ask when we had a ten minute conversation he didn't remember. This went away once he moved in.
Or so I thought.
Two mornings ago he sits up in bed (I was getting out for work) and says "You know it was a dragon!"
"What?"
"A dragon!"
"What dragon?"
"....I think I may be getting dreams confused with awake."
"Yeah, me too."
And he fell back asleep.
This morning it was:
"A different kind of bug!"
I woke up. "Whaa?"
"Like a VA bug! (I assume he meant VW Bug)."
"Honey, what are you talking about?"
But he was already back asleep.
It didn't help that after that I started having auditory hallucinations and waking dreams. Dreams that someone rang the phone (that may have been real) and he said my name (not real, since he was next to me in bed). Dreams of getting up and getting ready for work, several times over. There were others, but I've already forgotten them.
Not sure if it was something we ate or what, but if anything new happens before this gets posted, I'll edit it. I'm not scared or anything, just a bit weird ed out.
UPDATE
I was having a silent migraine. No idea what his issue was.
5. He's got a nickname.
"Slendy" to be precise. He's been around since 2009, and the internet is already very familiar with him, A nickname was inevitable.
4. There are spinoffs.
Trenderman, a metrosexual version of Slenderman, showed up in the last five years, due to a manikin having Slenderman's faceless visage.
There's also Splendorman, whom I know zip about, except he dresses like this:
3. There are several movies about him.
There's several different internet documentaries about dealing with Slenderman, but that's not what I mean. I mean honest to God full length motion pictures. The Slenderman "Official" Movie [quotations mine] which hasn't been released yet, and a full length one that has been released on youtube. I don't know if either are good. Peruse at your own risk.
2. He has a single creator.
His name is Eric Knudson. He posted the original images that sparked the rest of the Slenderman fandom under blogger name, Victor Surge. He has a gallery on Devianrtart.
1. He's not all that scary.
"But Rebecca" you say "he kidnaps kids! And he's got tentacles (sometimes!) and no face! That's scary!"
The concept of Slenderman is scary. It's a case of overexposure. Slenderman is in games, pictures, stories, and videos. He's a costume you can buy. He has a nickname I call it the 'Freddy Krueger Effect': become overly familiar with a villain, and they're less scary, no matter what they've done. The shock wears off.
Frankly, there are much scarier monsters on the internet, let alone reality. This nearly Cthulu-like figure was turned into a joke. Until now. Now he is a sad reminder that children are just as susceptible to mental illness, bad parenting, bad genetics, and bad decisions.
5. Is robot-on-robot violence bad? An article from Science Daily.com discusses the ethical implications of drones and fully robotized soldiers fighting upcoming wars.
Leaving aside the troubling issues raised by Bunnie Rabbot.
Or rather, it discusses that its not too early to discuss the ethics involved. Who is at fault when a robot kills a human? If robots only kill other robots, is there any downside? How will this change the concepts of war? Questions that need to be addressed by better minds than mine.
4. Asthmatic? Live with someone who is? READ THIS.
Researchers are working on a 'freeze clean' method to reduce asthma causing allergens. "The process deactivates proteins found in pet dander and can remove smoke residue and other allergy-causing substances. The freezing process also kills dust mites embedded in carpets and mattresses, which feed off human skin particles and are a major cause of asthma."
3. Learn early, keep your brain alive! This article delineates how before puberty your brain is an amazing device that will stay better longer if you master a task. For the rest of us...tough.
Look at that smug pink bastard.
So teach your kids how to do something well and it'll make them smarter. I feel like there's an implied 'duh' in there.
2. Diamonds everywhere
Remember a while back when they found a planet made of diamond? No? Well, get ready to not-remember a lot more: there may be a ton of those suckers.
Don't go hopping in your commercial spacecraft just yet: they're all super far away, even by space standards. But now 'like a diamond in the sky' is a lot more meaningful. Isn't that just as cool?
....Nope, I want giant space diamonds too.
1. Rich? Poor? You're gonna get cancer.
Sorry to bring you down with the last article, but its important. This article discusses how wealth distribution and cancer are linked. Or rather, what type of cancer. People of all financial levels get it: but the rich are more likely to get "melanoma, thyroid, other non-epithelial skin, and testis" cancer. Whereas cancer related to "Kaposi sarcoma and cancers of the larynx, cervix, penis, and liver" are for us poor types.
Just something to think about. And now, to cheer you up, marshmallows with faces.
It was my first year of middle school. I got beaten up so badly on one occasion that the cops had to be called. I transferred schools between grades since the school admitted it couldn't do anything to protect me from the people who harassed me.
It was also the time I discovered Stephen King. More specifically, Stephen King's IT. A story where a child-murdering shapeshifter stalks his victims via magic and mortal agents, including other children. He promised vengeance on the protagonists if the bullies in the story killed for him.
Yet I didn't poison a kid to try and impress Pennywise. I didn't go into the sewers seeking his approval. If a bullied victim like me didn't go bad from reading this story after abuse heaped on abuse, why?
It's not because I couldn't tell the difference between fantasy and reality (as children of that age can. Especially when the history of the myth is easy to find). Its because I'm not a sociopath or a psychopath. "It's weird that I didn't feel remorse." Said one of the attackers. This is classic sociopath mentality. It is terrifying. Far more terrifying than Slenderman and his associated mythos.
Sometimes upbringing has little to do with it. Perfectly normal families produce people with no conscious. We have no indicators of the girl's home life yet, so I can't assume this was the case. But something was clearly wrong in their hardware. Normal kids, even kids who read gruesome horror stories, do NOT attempt to murder other kids. If they did, I would not be here. I would be in jail or dead.
What can we do? Where can we turn? Who can we blame?
One of the girls says Slenderman watches her and reads her mind and can teleport. These are seriously disturbed preteens that found something to feed their psychosis. If it wasn’t Creepypasta and Slenderman it would have been Freddy Krueger or a Faerie.
We’re about to get a wave of people blaming Creepypasta for murder, much like past horror movies have been blamed for inspiring killers. Creepypasta will be talked about on talk shows and Fox News will debate on how it’s ruining the youth. There will be anti-pasta movements, fringed and religious in nature.
There are two things that actually matter in all the coming insanity:
ONE: These girls are made to take responsibility for their actions and are given the help they obviously need.
TWO: The victim recovers successfully.
That’s it. It does’t matter if Creepypasta and horror is badmouthed or ‘they’ try to censor it or demonize it. It doesn’t matter if Slenderman is given the blame, he’s fucking fictional and thus gives no shits. All that matters is that one girl almost died and that all three need help.
Based on painstaking research of owning several cats (not at once), and having friends who also own cats.
This is Harley. She is the best cat ever. Yes, better than yours.
5. Sometimes, they lick.
Cats are famous for not being dogs. They don't bark, wag, or lick faces. OR DO THEY? I'm my travels, I've found several cats, including Harley, who just LOVE to lick. She likes faces and feet particularly. If you let her, she'll sandpaper your face clean off.
The problem with this is it can dull the barbs on your cat's tongue. Wonder why older cats look so much scruffier than their younger selves? Their smooth tongues aren't as good at grooming. Those barbs are there for a reason. So if you're cat is a licker, let her have a few slurps, then stop. Cat saliva isn't good for your skin, and it can damage their tongues. Don't let your cat lick you!
4. They aren't all snobs.
Harley was the first good example of this, but now two of my friends have cats that have confirmed it: some cats really like people. Many cats will hide when guests come over, that's true. But more and more I'm meeting cats who love visitors.
Harley is my best example: once we took her to Grizz's house to meet my inlaws and their dog. She'd never been there, never met these people, and never been around a dog before, so we were a little worried. Harley came upstairs, took one look around, and thought 'Well, this is happening.' She then strutted around, cuddled with everyone and ignored the dog (who already lives with cats). She didn't even freak when Bahamute accidentally trapped her in the reclining couch. That is one cool cat!
My friends new cats are much the same: people don't bother them, they love cuddles, and they'll lavish attention on anyone. So not all cats are fridge stranger-phobics.
3. They have favorite people.
From the moment we saw her, Harley picked Bahamute as her favorite. She jumped into his arms and cuddled with him, ignoring me and winning him over. I'm not saying she doesn't love me: she just like the tomcat better. And that's fine: that's how pretty much every animal do.
Cats will spend more time with their favorite person, even if someone else feeds them and changes their litter and I'm starting to sound like a bitter parent, aren't I? NEXT TOPIC!
2. They make weird noises.
1. They're smarter than you think.
I don't mean 'They predict earthquakes' or 'They have the vocabulary of a small child' kind of ways either. I mean simply this: my cat knows my routine. I go to work at 9:50 Monday through Friday, with an occasional variation. Harley sleeps at the foot of our bed, and will crawl out when I do for snuggles and noms. Then she crawls back into bed while I make lunches and write. The INSTANT I think 'Time to wake Bahamute up' she crawls onto my chest and nuzzles my face. This is a DAILY event. She knows when I go to work and has devised a way to keep me around for snuggles instead. That is a smart, and very manipulative cat.
Don't think it's because she likes me better: she does the same thing to prevent my husband from leaving the house to pick me up. She just wants SOMEONE giving her attention, and doesn't care where she gets it.
You harlot.
Cats, like dogs, are smart enough to know when you're getting ready to leave, or when you get up and go through your pre-work routine you're about to vanish for several hours. It shouldn't be that astonishing. The difference is, the dog is happy to see you whereas the cat either doesn't care, is angry, or will cuddle non-stop. But they do know.
