Thursday, July 10, 2014

Five pop-culture summaries made via cultural osmosis

These are shows I haven't seen, movies I haven't watched, and books I haven't read. Let's see how accurate I can be just by living in America and being part of the culture.

5. The Sound of Music

     Julie Andrews is a nun who the other nuns have some kind of problem with. She gets sent to be a teacher of some rich guy's kids in Germany and they sing and dance and run over the living hills. Until Nazi's show up. One of the kids goes bad and tries to turn his family in for trying to leave Germany, so they ditch him and climb over the hills to Switzerland. Yaaay!
Spinning the whole way.

4. True Blood

     Rogue is still sucking your life away, but this time its via blood and not mutant powers! Vampires are out, loud, and proud and drink a blood replacement drink. So they're essentially people with hypohemia and sunlight sensitivity. Naturally, the south is offended by this, and wants them all dead.
C'mon baby make it hurt so good

      And at some point Elliot Stabler shows up, but not for long. Booooo.

3. The Fault in Our Stars

     Classic boy meets girl with cancer. Girl dies. They're both white and heterosexual. Somehow this is extremely controversial.
Apparently, not okay

2. Once Upon a Time

     Disney decides to market its own Alternate Universe fanfic as a show. Classic characters are turned human and brought to modern day society with no memories. So half the show is interesting flashbacks, and half is boring humans trying to remember the interesting flashbacks.

Looks like Dark Shadows to me.

     Also, they've started using real people like Pocahontas and Mulan. Not okay.

1. Dr. Who

     Magic doctor who holds no degree travels through time and bodies  putting right what once went wrong. Evil robots, aliens, magic phone booth, people who either get killed off or abandoned called companions, and a supreme evil called 'The Master'. Also magic screwdrivers.
This happened, but apparently it is never spoken of.

     That about cover it?

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