...Unless you're a Trek Nerd like me, or like roughly 50% of the people on the internet, according to 1990's humor.
So, if you already know this stuff, just wait until tomorrows blog. Or complain. Or whatever.
SPOILERS for the new movies, the old movies, Star Trek TOS and Star Trek TNG. You have been warned.
5. Kirk wasn't the original original series captain.
The first filmed episode of Star Trek TOS was called 'The Cage'. It was about the intended stars of Star Trek, Captain Christopher Pike, his female Number One, and the science officer, Mr. Spock.
"But Rebecca" you say "I know Captain Christopher Pike! He was the guy in the beeping chair and/or the guy who was Kirk's father figure in the new films."
And you're right to say it. He IS those things. Now. But originally he was going to be the star of the trek.
The network had issues with the pilot, including the fact that the second officer was a woman. Star Trek's liberal writers would later get back by having the first televised interracial kiss.
But it was the sixties and stuff didn't get thrown away. If you're a fan of Star Trek you've seen 90% of this episode in the two-part-er, The Menagerie . Frankly, I didn't much care for it either, female officer or no. So you're not missing much. Unless you count the new timeline and the fact that that doomed planet Pike went to and the women inhabitant is going to be lonely forever. Oh well.
4. Data's death meant nothing in the extended universe
Remember how much you cried when Data died in Star Trek Nemesis? No? Then watch this:
The takeaway is that Data is dead. Sacrificed himself to save Picard, and only a shadow of him remains in his younger 'brother' B4. He is gone, never to return in any Star Trek TV show or movie.
Buuuuuuuut not the extended universe! In the comic series Star Trek: Countdown Data is alive in B4s body. B4 purportedly vacated the body and lives happily on the holodeck. So, in short, his death overall amounted to Nil. Take that, emotions!
3. Gene Roddenberry almost killed Star Trek TNG
Remember how much Star Trek the Next Generation sucked in it's first few seasons?
Well, a lot of that was due to Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek, deciding that in the future there would be no interpersonal conflicts, no rage, etc, because humanity had triumphed over it's baser emotional states.
Which led to boring-ass characters.
Many writers and several actors quit due to the tyrannical rule of Roddenberry. Frankly, his death allowed the show to blossom with three dimensional characters and plots. It's not George Lucas level of destruction, but it was pretty bad.
2. TOS was cancelled twice
Remember the fit everyone threw when shows like Futurama and Family Guy were cancelled, necessitating a comeback? No? Remember when your nerd friend complained and the shows eventually showed back up? Yeah, I thought so.
Well, the same thing happened with Star Trek finished it's second season. That's right, the SECOND season. A letter writing campaign ensued, netting us the infamous third season.
After season three, the show was cancelled for good. But, we eventually got the movies and Next Generation so it all worked out in the end.
1. There's a cartoon, and it's canon.
Ever wondered what would happen if Spock and Kirk were given gills?
Or the whole crew of the Enterprise started shrinking?
What about de-aging?
All of this and more happened in the two-season long Star Trek cartoon show. Originally meant to replace the missing two years of he five year mission, the writers and cast from the original show went off the wall and did whatever they wanted.
So what, you say? Lots of cartoons are based on movies and they just ignore them. The Men in Black cartoon, The Mummy cartoon, the Ghostbusters cartoon: the 80s and 90s were rife with these things!
The difference is the cartoon IS canon. It's the first place we find out what Kirk's middle name is: Tiberius. Need more proof? The adventures were written into Logbooks that expanded the episodes and made them longer. So, yeah. All that happened.
So, the next time you think you've seen the dumbest thing in your favorite TV remember...THESE ARE THINGS.
Captain Picard IS better than Captain Kirk, you pretentious assholes.
So, if you already know this stuff, just wait until tomorrows blog. Or complain. Or whatever.
SPOILERS for the new movies, the old movies, Star Trek TOS and Star Trek TNG. You have been warned.
5. Kirk wasn't the original original series captain.
The first filmed episode of Star Trek TOS was called 'The Cage'. It was about the intended stars of Star Trek, Captain Christopher Pike, his female Number One, and the science officer, Mr. Spock.
"But Rebecca" you say "I know Captain Christopher Pike! He was the guy in the beeping chair and/or the guy who was Kirk's father figure in the new films."
And you're right to say it. He IS those things. Now. But originally he was going to be the star of the trek.
The puns are not stopping any time soon.
The network had issues with the pilot, including the fact that the second officer was a woman. Star Trek's liberal writers would later get back by having the first televised interracial kiss.
Yes, this happened FIRST. Interracial AND lesbian.
But it was the sixties and stuff didn't get thrown away. If you're a fan of Star Trek you've seen 90% of this episode in the two-part-er, The Menagerie . Frankly, I didn't much care for it either, female officer or no. So you're not missing much. Unless you count the new timeline and the fact that that doomed planet Pike went to and the women inhabitant is going to be lonely forever. Oh well.
4. Data's death meant nothing in the extended universe
Remember how much you cried when Data died in Star Trek Nemesis? No? Then watch this:
There are NO VERSIONS of the death scene that don't have uber dramatic music dubbed over it.
The takeaway is that Data is dead. Sacrificed himself to save Picard, and only a shadow of him remains in his younger 'brother' B4. He is gone, never to return in any Star Trek TV show or movie.
Nemesis was complicated.
Buuuuuuuut not the extended universe! In the comic series Star Trek: Countdown Data is alive in B4s body. B4 purportedly vacated the body and lives happily on the holodeck. So, in short, his death overall amounted to Nil. Take that, emotions!
3. Gene Roddenberry almost killed Star Trek TNG
Remember how much Star Trek the Next Generation sucked in it's first few seasons?
Here's a handy guide: No beard=no good
Well, a lot of that was due to Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek, deciding that in the future there would be no interpersonal conflicts, no rage, etc, because humanity had triumphed over it's baser emotional states.
Which led to boring-ass characters.
Many writers and several actors quit due to the tyrannical rule of Roddenberry. Frankly, his death allowed the show to blossom with three dimensional characters and plots. It's not George Lucas level of destruction, but it was pretty bad.
I don't remember Jar-Jar Binks ever getting what was coming to him.
2. TOS was cancelled twice
Remember the fit everyone threw when shows like Futurama and Family Guy were cancelled, necessitating a comeback? No? Remember when your nerd friend complained and the shows eventually showed back up? Yeah, I thought so.
Well, the same thing happened with Star Trek finished it's second season. That's right, the SECOND season. A letter writing campaign ensued, netting us the infamous third season.
Spock's brain getting sucked out and his body being controlled via remote control by Kirk and McCoy. That was the season OPENER
This was the same episode from season 3 with the interracial kiss, btw. It's not the dumbest thing that happened.
1. There's a cartoon, and it's canon.
Ever wondered what would happen if Spock and Kirk were given gills?
Or the whole crew of the Enterprise started shrinking?
What about de-aging?
All of this and more happened in the two-season long Star Trek cartoon show. Originally meant to replace the missing two years of he five year mission, the writers and cast from the original show went off the wall and did whatever they wanted.
So what, you say? Lots of cartoons are based on movies and they just ignore them. The Men in Black cartoon, The Mummy cartoon, the Ghostbusters cartoon: the 80s and 90s were rife with these things!
The difference is the cartoon IS canon. It's the first place we find out what Kirk's middle name is: Tiberius. Need more proof? The adventures were written into Logbooks that expanded the episodes and made them longer. So, yeah. All that happened.
As did this.
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