Tuesday, December 2, 2014

My dinner with Spock

It's no surprise that 'm a big fan of Star Trek, both The Original Series and The Next Generation. Out of all the shows, movies, and tie-in novels, Mr. Spock is my favorite character. I love Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto in the role. Spock is one of the most fascinating characters I've come across in my vast television viewing experience.

Until recently, I didn't realize it was because I identify with him.

I am not coldly logical. I am not a scientist or a peacekeeper or an ambassador. I am not an alien (as far as you can prove).

I am a child of two worlds. My father was Jewish and my Mother is a Christian. I was raised Christian, but I've always felt a strong connection to my father's heritage. I've been repeatedly told I'm not Jewish and have no claim to my own history, much like Spock among his Vulcan peers.

I am passionate. The Vulcan's hide their emotions and their deep well of passion, as it almost destroyed them. It's the reason the Vulcans and the Romulans split. To show passion or emotion is at the very least uncouth. Vulcan 'Alzheimers' is when a Vulcan loses control of his emotions.
Spock's father, Sarek

My friends will attest to my love of...well, many things from Trek to the whole genera of horror and hundresds of books, movies, people, tv shows, and other things in between. I will devote myself wholeheartedly and laud my obsessions from the rooftops if I'm able.

Or I used to: more and more I find myself hiding the force of how much I enjoy things. It's caused me a lot of pain when people don't share my views or make fun of how much I like things. I've stopped suggesting watching movies around certain friends as its caused a lot of mocking. For better or worse, I'm keeping some of that force inside.

I am almost always cold. What does this have to do with Spock? Vulcan's have a lower core body temperature than human beings. It's mentioned across various media that Spock is often cold in normal human rooms. It's been suggested that the look of peace on Spock's face when he's in the volcano in Star Trek Into Darkness is due to him being warm for the first time since [SPOILER] Vulcan was destroyed .


We have both watched a parent die.

Originally this was going to be a fun 'ha-ha, I'm a nerd, I love Spock!' blog. I've actually made myself depressed. Spock and I share brokenness and despair. We share introversion and loneliness. We have loss and pain in common.

Maybe that isn't the worst thing.

Spock is fictional, but so are many of the heroes people look up to. Superman. Katniss Everdeen. The public face of some politicians.

Or at least the person who lampoons them.

Why should I leave it at pain? We have other things in common. Loyal friends and lovers. A sense of purpose in life. The wish to help others even at cost to ourselves.
Not that I'm about to jump into a reactor core. *BAWWWWWWW*

I can only hope to live up to that character. A man who prevented wars and bridged gaps. Who made his family proud. Who lived a long, fruitful life. A happy life, despite everything he suffered.

I could to a lot worse than to share things with Spock. Even painful things. It's corny but true: if he can do it, so can I.

Dif-tor heh smusma, my friends.

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