Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Terrible Tuesday

Terrible Tuesdays will be a look at the not-so masterful side of the genera. There will be spoilers, as these films are so bad they toe the line of so-bad-it's-good and so-bad-I-refuse-to-rewatch-it.

Today we start with one of the worst I've seen during the last year: Curse of the Puppet Master.

Spoilers! Literally, the poster spoils the ending.

For the uninitiated, Puppet Master follows a group of living Puppets and the ever-changing titular master. Sometimes the puppets are evil, sometimes good, all depends on who their current master is. Their are forged from souls, and have power from vomiting leeches to bladed hands. The series is notorious for both practical puppet effects and very little continuity. Curse of the Puppet Master is the 6th film in the franchise. The 13th film, The Littlest Reich, came out earlier this year.

 There are actually a lot of Nazis in these films. Surprise!

Curse of the Puppet Master throws away the tentative continuity of parts 4 and 5 (which were originally one movie) for a whole new story. The puppets were auctioned off to a random puppet enthusiast/scientist who decided to recreate their living condition via experiments on hapless assistance. Tank, his newest assistant/victim does not escape this fate, as the poster spoils.

So, what about this film makes it worse than the 5 predecessors?

First, it uses the same script as as Sssssss, a 1970's eco-horror movie about a mad scientist turning people into snakes.

It also has a better poster.

The Puppet Master scientist's reason for turning people into puppets is that the living puppets don't have any difference between who they are inside and who they are on the outside; they can kill and maim and act like they want without repercussion. That somehow makes them better than people. Somehow.

Tank spends the movie carving a perfect puppet, only to be turned into a SOLID METAL puppet at the end:

Also, he looks stupid.

The other puppets, who have done practically nothing due to being old stock footage, kill the new Puppet Master moments after he turns Tank into the above monstrosity. They could have stopped the Puppet Master at any time, but didn't because...reasons!

Also, the Puppet Master's daughter almost gets raped a couple times. For dramatic reason.

If this movie wasn't part of a TWELVE PACK of Full Moon features, I would be way more pissed about wasting my money. At least I have eight more Puppet Masters, and three Killjoy movies!

Who's Killjoy? You'll need to wait until next week for that....

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