It's now approximately six months since Halloween, and six months until next Halloween.
Uggggggggggggggggghh.
I feel so restricted this time of year. I can't wear my Ghostbuster's uniform to the RenFest (well, I could, but it would be uncomfortable and stupid).
I can't just leave my black roses out or the dog will try and eat them. I can't put out my Freddy claw due to lack of space. I can't set up my Chucky and Tiffany dolls in the bedroom since certain husbands think they're creepy.
It's the horror doldrums. The summer blockbuster season is around the corner, and we're a long way from autumn's slew of good, bad, and so bad it's good releases.
Don't get me wrong: I'm excited for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and Thor: Ragnarok, but it's been a long time since Get Out.
IT doesn't come out until September, and that's only on my 'cautiously optimistic' list.
There are a few returning faces I'm a little excited about: Annabelle 2 is on the way, but I'm behind in that series. Cult of Chucky isn't coming out until Halloween, almost. And, while perusing a list of upcoming horror movies, I discovered Insidious Chapter 4, Saw: Legacy, Wrong Turn 7, Hellraiser: Judgement, Jeepers Creepers 3, Children of the Corn: Runaway, AND another Halloween movie are incoming.
That is a LOT of sequels.
I've missed a few things that looked interesting, like A Cure for Wellness and The Belko Experiment. They seemed to go in and out of the theater with little comment, but maybe I've missed some real gems.
More and more I find myself watching Markiplier play games rife with jumpscares, hoping for a semblance of plot or nuance. Bahamute and Markiplier played a cinematic horror game, Until Dawn, but that thrill is long since past.
I've finished Joe Hill's latest. I'm working during Motor City Nightmares. I need scares badly.
It might be time to organize my own horror film night!
It's a pain to gather my friends and convince them they'll enjoy the flicks as much as I do. Mostly because that's a lie. Aside from my brother in law Grizz, nobody that I spend large amounts of time with loves horror as much as I do. Bahamute tolerates the films for my sake (and can enjoy a really good movie on it's own merits), and most of my other friends range from liking so bad it's good, to being a 'just around Halloween' horror observer. You know who you are.
Horror for me is a year-round event. My King books are prominently displayed. My horror DVDs get their own rack, which is directly across from the front door. Sandman and Swamp Thing, Freddy and Jason, Gorey and Ito. I return to their wells as often as I dig for new ones.
This time of year brings the same fear it always does: I've become immune to horror. The books and movies coming out are all tame, predictable, nothing but jump scares and tropes. Maybe I'll never be scared for real, for the first time again.
It always passes. Get Out showed me that real fear is still out there, waiting to be found, and that the art isn't dead. I just have to look harder.
With that in mind, now comes the enjoyable, infuriating task of trying to find a good horror movie to shar with my friends, without spoiling it for myself. At least there's always old chestnuts like "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
Wish me luck. It's going to be a dull six months otherwise.
Uggggggggggggggggghh.
I feel so restricted this time of year. I can't wear my Ghostbuster's uniform to the RenFest (well, I could, but it would be uncomfortable and stupid).
Verily, I fear no specters!
I can't just leave my black roses out or the dog will try and eat them. I can't put out my Freddy claw due to lack of space. I can't set up my Chucky and Tiffany dolls in the bedroom since certain husbands think they're creepy.
I haven't been creeped out by Chucky since he became a stay at home dad.
It's the horror doldrums. The summer blockbuster season is around the corner, and we're a long way from autumn's slew of good, bad, and so bad it's good releases.
Don't get me wrong: I'm excited for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and Thor: Ragnarok, but it's been a long time since Get Out.
So good, even non-horror fans liked it.
IT doesn't come out until September, and that's only on my 'cautiously optimistic' list.
Also on the list: Lin-Manuel Miranda's live action Little Mermaid and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle.
There are a few returning faces I'm a little excited about: Annabelle 2 is on the way, but I'm behind in that series. Cult of Chucky isn't coming out until Halloween, almost. And, while perusing a list of upcoming horror movies, I discovered Insidious Chapter 4, Saw: Legacy, Wrong Turn 7, Hellraiser: Judgement, Jeepers Creepers 3, Children of the Corn: Runaway, AND another Halloween movie are incoming.
That is a LOT of sequels.
Also, JonTron apologized, so welcome back, relevant clips!
I've missed a few things that looked interesting, like A Cure for Wellness and The Belko Experiment. They seemed to go in and out of the theater with little comment, but maybe I've missed some real gems.
Unlike this fucking thing.
More and more I find myself watching Markiplier play games rife with jumpscares, hoping for a semblance of plot or nuance. Bahamute and Markiplier played a cinematic horror game, Until Dawn, but that thrill is long since past.
Worth a watch, or a play if you're adept at gaming.
I've finished Joe Hill's latest. I'm working during Motor City Nightmares. I need scares badly.
It might be time to organize my own horror film night!
It's a pain to gather my friends and convince them they'll enjoy the flicks as much as I do. Mostly because that's a lie. Aside from my brother in law Grizz, nobody that I spend large amounts of time with loves horror as much as I do. Bahamute tolerates the films for my sake (and can enjoy a really good movie on it's own merits), and most of my other friends range from liking so bad it's good, to being a 'just around Halloween' horror observer. You know who you are.
Homer and Marge judge you.
Horror for me is a year-round event. My King books are prominently displayed. My horror DVDs get their own rack, which is directly across from the front door. Sandman and Swamp Thing, Freddy and Jason, Gorey and Ito. I return to their wells as often as I dig for new ones.
I'm not the only one returning to a horror well.
This time of year brings the same fear it always does: I've become immune to horror. The books and movies coming out are all tame, predictable, nothing but jump scares and tropes. Maybe I'll never be scared for real, for the first time again.
It always passes. Get Out showed me that real fear is still out there, waiting to be found, and that the art isn't dead. I just have to look harder.
With that in mind, now comes the enjoyable, infuriating task of trying to find a good horror movie to shar with my friends, without spoiling it for myself. At least there's always old chestnuts like "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
Then again, maybe not.
Wish me luck. It's going to be a dull six months otherwise.
It's coming...
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