See the elusive girl geek as she acts in local theater! Watch as she writes manuscripts, fanfiction, and anything else that come out of her deranged mind! Gawp as she reviews movies that normal women would run from in terror! GIRL GEEK!
I love peanut butter. Reese's is my favorite candy, along with the many, many delicious permutations thereof.
Actual peanuts can get honey roasted and die. Something about the texture just puts me off. No chunky peanut butter, no peanuts on my sundae, nothing.
4. Tomatoes
Ohh, sweet nectar. Ohh heavenly purveyor of salt and vinegar. How I love thee on fries, potato pancakes, hash brow--
Who invited your fruity ass? The plain tomato isn't the worst offender on my list, but I don't like 'em.
3. Green Tea
Gimme a break, gimmie a break, break me off a piece of that as long as it's not liquid. It's not just a green tea thing: I don't like ANY tea. But these little beauties are irresistible. Mmm, Japanese-y.
2. Strawberries
Seeds. Seeds on the OUTSIDE. Ew. EW. POKEY. EWWWWW.
1. Coconuts
Never before have I heard my thoughts articulated so perfectly on screen. "I hate coconuts! It isn't the taste, it's the consistency." This man is me, aside from being different in every other possible way.
...Unless you're a Trek Nerd like me, or like roughly 50% of the people on the internet, according to 1990's humor.
Captain Picard IS better than Captain Kirk, you pretentious assholes.
So, if you already know this stuff, just wait until tomorrows blog. Or complain. Or whatever.
SPOILERS for the new movies, the old movies, Star Trek TOS and Star Trek TNG. You have been warned.
5. Kirk wasn't the original original series captain.
The first filmed episode of Star Trek TOS was called 'The Cage'. It was about the intended stars of Star Trek, Captain Christopher Pike, his female Number One, and the science officer, Mr. Spock.
"But Rebecca" you say "I know Captain Christopher Pike! He was the guy in the beeping chair and/or the guy who was Kirk's father figure in the new films."
And you're right to say it. He IS those things. Now. But originally he was going to be the star of the trek.
The puns are not stopping any time soon.
The network had issues with the pilot, including the fact that the second officer was a woman. Star Trek's liberal writers would later get back by having the first televised interracial kiss.
Yes, this happened FIRST. Interracial AND lesbian.
But it was the sixties and stuff didn't get thrown away. If you're a fan of Star Trek you've seen 90% of this episode in the two-part-er, The Menagerie . Frankly, I didn't much care for it either, female officer or no. So you're not missing much. Unless you count the new timeline and the fact that that doomed planet Pike went to and the women inhabitant is going to be lonely forever. Oh well.
4. Data's death meant nothing in the extended universe
Remember how much you cried when Data died in Star Trek Nemesis? No? Then watch this:
There are NO VERSIONS of the death scene that don't have uber dramatic music dubbed over it.
The takeaway is that Data is dead. Sacrificed himself to save Picard, and only a shadow of him remains in his younger 'brother' B4. He is gone, never to return in any Star Trek TV show or movie.
Nemesis was complicated.
Buuuuuuuut not the extended universe! In the comic series Star Trek: Countdown Data is alive in B4s body. B4 purportedly vacated the body and lives happily on the holodeck. So, in short, his death overall amounted to Nil. Take that, emotions!
3. Gene Roddenberry almost killed Star Trek TNG
Remember how much Star Trek the Next Generation sucked in it's first few seasons?
Here's a handy guide: No beard=no good
Well, a lot of that was due to Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek, deciding that in the future there would be no interpersonal conflicts, no rage, etc, because humanity had triumphed over it's baser emotional states.
2. TOS was cancelled twice
Remember the fit everyone threw when shows like Futurama and Family Guy were cancelled, necessitating a comeback? No? Remember when your nerd friend complained and the shows eventually showed back up? Yeah, I thought so.
Well, the same thing happened with Star Trek finished it's second season. That's right, the SECOND season. A letter writing campaign ensued, netting us the infamous third season.
Spock's brain getting sucked out and his body being controlled via remote control by Kirk and McCoy. That was the season OPENER
After season three, the show was cancelled for good. But, we eventually got the movies and Next Generation so it all worked out in the end.
This was the same episode from season 3 with the interracial kiss, btw. It's not the dumbest thing that happened.
All of this and more happened in the two-season long Star Trek cartoon show. Originally meant to replace the missing two years of he five year mission, the writers and cast from the original show went off the wall and did whatever they wanted.
The difference is the cartoon IS canon. It's the first place we find out what Kirk's middle name is: Tiberius. Need more proof? The adventures were written into Logbooks that expanded the episodes and made them longer. So, yeah. All that happened.
As did this.
So, the next time you think you've seen the dumbest thing in your favorite TV remember...THESE ARE THINGS.
The Redford Theater is like something out of a book. From the outside it’s nothing special: older marquee, flashing lights around it, Plexiglas ticket-taker window, the whole deal. Even the lobby is sort of standard.
Until you notice the little things: a grand piano with someone plaything music from the film. Cabinets full of memorabilia. Tee-shirts and fifty-fifty raffle tickets. popcorn made with REAL butter, sweet and wet.
Then you enter the theater.
The screen is framed by, of all things, the front of a Japanese pagoda. The colors are faded a bit, but that just makes it look real. Four figures, two men two women, are painted in wearing traditional Japanese dress. The colors on two are vibrant, repainted within the last few years.
Then you look up.
The ceiling is a night sky. Stars twinkle. Clouds drift across it, fading and forming as real clouds are wont to do. People shuffle in, heading to the stage to take pictures.
There’s a pipe organ. And a player piano. And an organist.
You sit, listen to medleys of classic music as clouds drift over twinkling stars and butter drifts through the cool theater air. It is magic. It is every movie theater you ever read about in every book: that magic place where you get your inspiration to write, become an actor, become a director. Anything can happen.
Last night I saw The Wizard of Oz in this wonderful place. It has never been more magical.
We all know about Arthur Weasly's obsession with Muggle stuff, and how he's considered 'a bit of a nutter' by his own family, let alone other wizards. The problem with this is you CAN'T just live in an exclusive wizard society, even in the eighties and nineties, when the books are set.
They use cars, so there needs to be a basic understanding of things like gas, batteries (a particular peculiarity of Arthur's), traffic laws, and just how to drive. All things used exclusively by Muggles, according to the books.
I understand they have their own hospitals, but the Muggle government has NO record of any Wizarding child's birth? They can't track their school records? What about Muggleborns? Do they just vanish off the rolls at age eleven?
What about vaccinations? Is that not as big of a thing in the UK as it is here? We saw what Molly thinks of Muggle doctors. They don't need casts for broken bones or stitches, okay. Can they magic away cancer? Heart disease? The need for new organs? What about brain damage? Or blunt force trauma? Do they have magic solutions for that too? What about getting shot? It could be an accident, easily. Can they magic out a bullet? Fix all the damage with a wave of the wand?
There has to be more to the 'we have a witch/wizard in our family, but we just can't talk about it.' Are Muggle family members who know magicked so they can't talk? Are there secret cults who know about the wizards but instead of just hating them, actively seek to kill them, like skinheads? What about support groups for siblings who didn't inherit magic ability? Or squibs for that matter. I understand they can't do wand magic, but what about potions? Or care of magical creatures? Are there government liasons between Muggle and magic besides the 'Hey we exist' call the PM gets? There must be, what with all the apparently empty/doctored by magic personal records flying around.
I know there are about a billion unanswered questions in the Harry Potter universe. These have just been nagging at me a lot lately. Love to hear your thoughts!
You'd think a business that takes care of the dead would be pretty on the ball. You're wrong. Guest starring Dilbert comic strips, because I CAN.
5. The payment device
When I started here back in January, we had two methods of payment: Cash/Check, or credit card. The cash/check was taken, copied, and the client family given a receipt. The credit card was swiped through a standard credit card reader, family given receipt. Easy. Until the complicated entry of payment into our computer systems, literally half my training.
Now we have something called an EPD, or electronic payment device that is supposed to scan checks and credit cards, and put the information directly into our computer systems. Except it's NEVER worked right. Credit cards don't scan and have to be entered manually. NO check, not even the narrow range of accepted types, has ever scanned. So, we give manual receipts and do bank runs, but with a small black lump starring smugly at us from the desk. How it mocks me.
4. The oven/microwave
Don't get me wrong, we have a fully functioning microwave. I don't work at a cave, or a lawyers office, like my last job. Problem is we have an oven and microwave set from the 1960s that just sits there emitting radiation. Also, people purportedly used to store beer in the oven (I've checked, its bone dry).
Aside from causing cancer, I assume, it's a spot to stack paperwork and plastic bottles. And nobody knows if its still functional, or flammable. Learning is fun!
3. Empty ketchup bottle.
Okay, not broken per say, but what do I eat my frozen fries with now? Nothing? Like a damned animal?
2. The old printer
This thing is five feet tall and several hundred pounds. On the second floor. In the break room. It's never leaving. I'm making my peace with it: it was here before I was, and will remain long after I've gone. There's talk about finding a charity organization that wants it, but nobody has the authority, least of all me, to do something about it. So...yeah.
1. Management on the whole
Long story incredibly short, my big boss is probably going to get demoted because of gross incompetence. If that wasn't enough, I was trained incorrectly in 50% of the things I learned, as was the person who trained me. I'm frequently told 'Don't listen to so and so, they' don't know what they're doing' when so and so is a higher rank and I HAVE to listen to him/her.
I'm not alone in this, but it is a troubling trend. Scott Adams, why hast thou forsaken me?!
This one is obvious, so I'm getting it out of the way early. Doug Walker may not have begun the online review as it's currently known, but he's one of the best and brightest. Even if you don't like his reviews, as many don't, you have to admit they're well-produced and he's done well with them.
Mr. Walker owns his own studio, produces a number of shows himself, and has appeared on Entrepreneur magazine. Not bad for some kid and his brother producing videos in the basement. I found Mr. Walker's website several years ago, and the rest is history. I've met him in person, and he was very nice, so that's awesome too!
This is a new feature on the show, 'What you never Knew'. As a huge trivia geek, I was surprised to be told things I never knew. It's short, give it a go!
Notable for being the special effects guy for all of the anniversary specials, Phelous is...an acquired taste. His voice can be a bit grating (he's deeply Canadian), but something about his brand of humor speaks to me. He;s just so tired of everything, but can't stop himself from going on. If you want dry wit, this is the guy.
Here's a team up with NC on one of my all time favorite horror movies, Child's Play. Enjoy!
Lupa, as she is usually called, reviews grade Z horror movies, grade Z family pictures, and Baywatch. There's a lot more to her shows (such as the hilarious Radu Reviews, based on the inept vampire from Subspecies), but those are the basics. She's the only female reviewer I've come across that I go out of my way to watch (sorry Nostalgia Chick!)
Lupa just speaks to me. The things she reviews are either things I already hate/love, or things I WILL hate/love. I don't know what it is, but every time I watch her videos it makes me happy. No other reviewer has a such a high pleasure and interesting content, specific to me.
Her only youtube links had Russian subtitles, but here's The Room. Classic!
Snob is the only reviewer on this list that I didn't find on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com: I found Snob before he joined the site, so when they joined forces, I was thrilled. There are several very fun crossover reviews, but the meat of the Snob is...The Snob.
Imagine movies like 'Corpse Grinders' and 'Invasion of the Samurai Sluts from Hell!' give the Roger Ebert treatment, and you have a taste of what the Snob is like. He reviews mostly horror and bad theme porn (Musical, E.T., etc) under the Snob name, but has other fine personas such as...himself. He reviews movies and shows that never made it to general release (DRV-Hell) food and drink (Brad Tries) Kung-Fu (Kung Tai Ted) and more that you can see for yourself by visiting his fine site.
This is a guilty pleasure movie of mine, and I felt a lot more guilty after watching this. He also has Siamese kitties. EEEEEE!
There's just something so funny about him. Is it the Britishness that makes it work? Is it the down to earth disgust with the lack of effort in the things he tries, and the genuine surprise and delight when things go well? I think it is.
Also, he's adorable. Not 'I want to do that' adorable, but 'Aww, look a Boston terrier' kind of adorable. I want to hug him. Watch ANY infomericalism review, you'll be hooked. Go on!
I've spoken before about how much I like the Temeraire series, so I won't do a big rehash here: Set during the Napoleonic wars, dragons exist and are used in Europe's fighting forces. In this book, Captain William Lawrence (Formerly of the Navy, currently of the Aviators) and Temeraire go back to Africa (Oh yeah, they've been to Africa before) to find the cure to a disease killing off England's dragons.
I'm 'reading' this as an audiobook on days I walk home from work, usually a couple of times a week. This is slow going, and I have a two more books to get through before I get to the physical books. I've been through all of them before EXCEPT the latest one, which is why I'm refreshing myself. At this rate I'll be done by Christmas. 4. The Dresden Files: Storm Front (Book 1)
This is another audiobook in a lengthy series with a new volume, but that's all the similarity it shares with Temeraire. Wizard Harry Dresden is a P.I. in Chicago, saving people from the dangers of the NeverNever, including, but not limited to, other Wizards, Witches, Demons, Vampires (Three kinds!), Werewolves, Ghosts, Fae, and a host of other things you wouldn't want to meet without your pentacle and staff at the ready.
This is what my Husband and I listen to on our 45 minute to an hour long trips to rehearsal for Shrek: The Musical. We're speeding through it, and it beats having to find new music for each trip. Hearing 'What is Hip' from The Drew Carey Show album will only be fun for so long.
I'm only into the prologue, but I can already tell it's gonna be good. This book is written (and signed! Thanks Nancy and Jason) by one of the co-stars of the infamous film, The Room, Greg Sestero. This book is being made into a movie, ala Shadow of the Vampire. I've already got several people lined up to borrow it when I'm done. More on this story later.
This is what I read when I'm out and have no wifi, as the book currently shares a bag with my Chromebook, Tyrion.
I'm still in the intro to this as well, but the intro is about a hundred pages on the life of L. Frank Baum, so that's excusable. An EXHAUSTIVE book in the vein of the classic Annotated Alice, this weighty tome delves into the history, mythology, allusions, and subtle wit behind the classic Oz. It's my all-time favorite movie, and one of my favorite books (I already own all 12 of the Baum written Oz books, and have read many of them).
This is what I read when I'm alone at home.
The classic series by Neil Gaiman about the king of dreams, Morpheus. I've read through the series several times since High School, but this time is to new purpose: new Sandman comics are being published! I have several in my possession as we speak, but I'm putting off reading until I finish the old ones. I'm on the penultimate book now. Yaaaaay!
This is what I read when I'm getting ready in the morning.
There are just some things I can't make a huge deal about, but need to be said. So, here's five mini-rants to cover some small, but crucial, points of annoyance.
No, this kid's book on UFOs and aliens doesn't tell you how to booby-trap the chimney. What it does do is say (I'm paraphrasing a bit, it's been almost 20 years since I last read it) 'Most people think UFOs are made up, like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus.'
I was about nine when I read that, old enough to know about the tooth fairy. That was how I learned there was no Santa. In a book AIMED AT YOUNG CHILDREN. Children too young to know any better. This book probably ruined both Santa and the Tooth Fairy for a few curious tots. A book, one of the few things I had as a kid that was like friends, hurt me. It's a scar that's never quite healed.
4. The alarm clock noise
It scares me awake. As much as I love a good scare, this isn't the time or place. I end up panicked for most of the morning. Not good.
One of these days I'll buy a clock radio and be done with that pink monstrosity. But for now I'm cheap, and can usually wake up before the alarm. Yaaay.
3. Meijer
Why do you clean four aisles at once? Why are they always the ones I need? Now I've got ground beef, but no taco shells, seasoning, or picante sauce. I've got chicken, but no tortillas. I've got applesauce cups, but no fruit snacks.
If other places were open twenty four hous, I'd go there. But this was 11pm! Not even that late! Do it at four AM when the only shoppers are vampires, meth addicts, and possibly still me and my friends but it's 4AM and cleaning is a lot more understandable.
2. Christian Mingle ads
I'm married. WHY are these all over my websites? I've never visited Christian Mingle. I've never visited a DATING SITE. Yet they are freaking everywhere. Why? What box did I check? What link did I view? I'm so confused.
Yes, I'm aware this blog post will not help matters. THAT I at least understand.
1. The fifth thing
It's hard to come up with five topics for these blogs sometimes. I'll st there with four perfectly good subjects, then sit around like an idiot trying to figure out #5. I've given up a few times and gone with four, but that just feels incomplete. Why do I have so much difficulty sometimes getting to five?
