Monday, January 19, 2015

Five great G-Rated Jokes

Culled from Reddit.

5. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
Because he was out standing in his field.

4. Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.

3. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.

2. Two fish are in a tank and one says to the other "do you know how to drive this thing?"

1. So the pope is SUPER early for his flight. He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope. Naturally he's a bit rusty so he's driving poorly when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wiiiide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute" and he goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure.
Chief: How important? A governor or something?
Cop: No sir. He's bigger.
Chief: So, what? a celebrity or something?
Cop: More important, sir.
Chief: A major politician?
Cop: No sir, he's much more important.
Chief: WELL WHO IS IT!?
Cop: Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver.


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