Five Funny Gifs

Happy Friday!

King's Island

Yesterday for almost six hours I was with the family at Kings Island. It's a HUGE amusement/water park in the same vein as Ceder Point. No coincidence, as CP owns it. Unlike that park, the water park is included in the price of the ticket. So it's got that goin' for it, which is nice.

I'm not much of a roller coaster person adn even less of a heights one, but there was still plenty to do. I only refrained from going on one ride that the rest of the party went on: The Bat. It was just too tall. I did brave the park's replica 1/3rd scale Eiffel Tower, but my fear of heights kept me from moving towards the railing. I did manager to get off the elevator and do a full circuit around. Yay!

I went on several other attractions: the pirate ship, the white-water rafting tube, the log flume, stuff that wasn't too tall. The group gave most coasters a pass on sight: The Banshee for example.

The water park was fun, but by the time we got there we were too tired to do anything but hit one water slide. After that, we trudged back to our cars, tired but happy. We'd ridden rids, seen themed gift shops, eaten hot dogs and frozen lemonade and funnel cake: all the classics. It was a great day. My in-laws are some of the best people I could ever want to do that with (especially considering they paid for my and Bahamute's broke asses...)

For anyone wanting to shark off the dust of Ceder Point and try something new, King's Island is a great bet. Four stars! 

'Murica

It's labor day weekend. I'm watching Drunk History with the family in Ohio. This is a show that is literally drunk people telling history, and then actors reenacting it. And it is hilarious.

Where else but American could something that weird succeed?

Holy crap, Terry Crews just showed up. This show is AMAZING!

I'm watching the story of Patty Hearst's kidnapping and brainwashing. I'm not very well versed on the actual events depicted here. In some of the past episodes I've been impressed with the accuracy: the story of Superman taking down the KKK was dead on.

No word on the veracity of Cap punching Hitler.

Oh wow, Terry Crews just robbed a bank in a floppy sunhat. This is the best thing ever.

I really didn't think I'd like this show. Never have I been so wrong. If you like the better comedy central offerings like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, you'll enjoy this.

Gotta go. Having too much fun to hide inside the internet.

And these guys are jerks.

Trollhunter and gold mining

Trollhunter is a Norwegian found footage movie about hunting trolls.

No, wait, come back!

...

Alright then.

The movie is actually a lot of fun. Once you're past the subtitles, it's an enjoyable black comedy/horror movie. The troll effects aren't bad, and it draws a lot from classic mythology. The actors are mostly Norwegian comedians, nobody I recognized offhand.

Frankly, I started watching it thinking it was a bad SyFy SciFi movie. Glad I was mistaken. You can find it on Netflix, next to lesser fare such as Paul Bunyan Axe Giant and Mega Shark VS. Mecha Shark.

In fact, there are a few hidden gems in the Netflix horror section. Very very well hidden. Pontypool, a film about a radio DJ whose listeners are going crazy, is purportedly good. Chinese horror film Dumplings is also highly recommended, at least on Reddit.

I've plumbed the depths of Netflix before and come back with fools gold. Creature is one of the worst horror films I've seen, Sid Haig notwithstanding. It's not even so bad it's funny. Bad acting, confusing script, and one of the worst monster makeups in recent memory. Don't give it a look. As someone who loves bad movies, I warn you: Creature is NOT worth it.

Good and underrated movies that I've seen on Netflix? Dead Silence is very well done. It's by James Wan who was involved in the SAW franchise, as well as Insidious and The Conjuring. There are more noted in my backlog of posts, but this is newer and one of the best.

Bad horror movies? Anything about a shark, aside from Mission of the Shark. That is a fine military drama. Watch that! But, if you want crap, Two-Headed Shark Attack is so bad it's funny. Perfect riffing material.

I'll blog about more finds as they come. For now, it's off to the movies!

Five Favorite Anime/Mangas

I've talked before about anime and manga, but never detailing my favorites. So...this! Spoiler free, of course.

5. Attack on Titan

The only reason this isn't higher on my list is because I've seen less of it than all the other series. That doesn't mean it's the worst. Far from it! Attack on Titan is a complex story with three dimensional characters and beautiful animation.

Beautiful, nightmareish animation.

The story follows Eren Yeager, and two of his friends as they fight Titans in a semi post-apocalyptic world. Titans are giant humanoid monsters that eat people. And smile. And that's all we know about them.

This series is dark. People die, graphically. There is emotional turmoil and horror in every episode. Even with my taste for the macabre, I can only watch a few episodes at a time before calling it quits for a few days. And I shotgun Law and Order: SVU regularly. You are warned.

You can watch the first season on Netflix. It is in Japanese, so be prepared to read. I don't know if there are other seasons or what (I'm avoiding spoilers like the plague), but there is supplemental material. This series only aired in 2013, so it's also the newest on my list.  It is based on manga, which I plan on reading when I'm done with the anime.

So, if you want a dark, DARK story with twists and rich characters, this is for you.

DARK.

4. Dragon Ball/ Dragon Ball Z

On the other end of the scale we have Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z (or just one long-ass Dragon Ball saga, as it's known in Japan).

Dragon Ball follows a young fighter named Son Goku as he travels the world, fighting enemies and looking for the wish-granting Dragon Balls. It draws influence (initially) from the ancient Chinese fable, Journey to the West. The similarities end pretty quickly, so don't expect to learn a lot about Chinese culture.

Except the names of teas.

This is a fighting anime/manga. You get a lot of cool drawings of weird people kicking each others asses. The story is formulaic: threat comes to earth, Goku trains and gets stronger than humanly possible, destroy's threat. Repeat. It's simple and satisfying, much like the colorful art.

I've read many volumes of the manga, and I'm an avid fan of the fanmande abridged series. You can safely skip the 90s american anime: it's censored and much worse than the actual source material.

Mmm, a frothy mug of water.

3. Yu-Gi-Oh!

Yu-Gi-Oh is the story of a high-school boy who is possessed by the soul of an Egyptian pharaoh with magic powers. Together they fight evil and search for the Pharaoh's memories, mostly by playing a magic card game. It makes sense in context.

This is another show/manga where the source material far outstrips the censored american version. The original manga doesn't even feature card games for quite some time. It at first relied on the spirit being a psychotic killer of other psychotic killers.

This kid was a jerk about playing card games. So, the Spirit trapped him in a mental death simulation. Seems reasonable.

The manga is the way to go here. It's got magic, plot twists, and great art. This also spawned a hysterical fan made abridged show that mocks the Americanization and several other silly plot elements. It's 'dark' but for the pg-13 set. Good one to get into.

2. Sailor Moon

I own and have read EVERY volume of the Sailor Moon manga. It was the first brush with anime that I and most other girls in my generation had. It spawned a genera. It had a wildly successful anime in the 90s, and a wildly successful one from RIGHT NOW. It spawned live action TV shows, stage shows, and countless other adaptations.

So it's pretty good.

The plot follows Usagi (Serena in the 90s american version) AKA Sailor Moon, the pretty guardian in a sailor costume who fights evil alongside her friends, while trying to find their princess. It's complex and there are several major story arcs that cover everything from what I just mentioned to future outerspace battles, lost children, time travel, and demonic possession.

And they're so pretty!

The manga was just re-released with a more faithful translation, and the new anime is airing online. This is the perfect time to get into the series, especially if you're new. Do it. DO IT!

You'll make Luna so happy.

1. Fullmetal Alchemist

Fullmetal Alchemist is another dark, beautiful piece. Unlike Titan, it's got raucous comedy as well.

Both from FMA. Both fit perfectly.

FMA follows Edward and Alphonse Elric as they fight in the military with magic powers, trying to find a Philosopher's Stone and restore their mangled bodies to normal. This is a VERY complex story. The rules of the universe are well defined, and the characters are fully realized. It's the best on this list, no question.

However, there is one confusing issue: There are 2 completed anime versions of it. Both with 90% of the same voice actors. The first seasons are almost identical. Fullmetal Alchemist  is the first one, and strays wildly from the manga. Mostly because it wasn't done yet.

FMA: Brotherhood is the second, faithful adaptation. It's darker and longer. And awesome. And I'd say watch both series, in order. They're both FANTASTIC. They're on Netflix. What are you waiting for?

Five funny gifs

Happy Friday!

The smell

The embalming room is in the basement. I work on the first floor. Smells from dead bodies should not be an issue. But there are always exceptions to the rule.

This weekend, a director serviced a body decedent who died a month before he was discovered. In his house. After Michigan July. I won't repeat the description so you can sleep tonight, but maggots were the tip of the iceberg.

So yesterday and today, I have been enjoying the stench of industrial-grade cleaner with a subtle aftertaste of month-old dead body.

Because I AM NOT SEARCHING FOR THAT!

Do I win 'worst job of the moment'? Yes, unless you were the embalmer. *Shiver*

The smell isn't as bad as you'd think, thanks to the cleaner. I've smelled worse at other jobs: the stink of a rat rotting in a warehouse wall, swollen to the size of a groundhog was the worst. It's more the knowledge of what caused the smell.

This isn't a common occurrence, even in funeral circles.  The other directors were properly horrified by the whole thing. At least I'm not alone in that.

Hooray for corporate bonding. 

The show must go on

Fenton's production of Shrek is/was/has not been the luckiest show. Our Shrek got sick and nearly missed opening weekend. I got sick for the second and third weekend of shows. Props were busted, costumes lost, the usual theater rigmarole.

None of that comes close to death.

One of my castmates lost their mother, very unexpectedly Thursday night. Today is Friday. We're getting a replacement and need to be at the theater asap to run scenes. I work until five, but I'm trying to get out at four so we can do as much as we can. Both Bahamute and I have scenes with the character. We need to be there.

There's always drama backstage. People drop out or are forcibly replaced. But not this. Never like this.

I think of all my castmates as friends, but this person is someone I've known (and sadly lost touch with) for years. We're not close, but we're friends. I left a facebook message saying if there was anything Bahamute and I could do, please tell us. I want to do more.

I hope the cast is doing something together for them. I will suggest it, if something is not in the works.

Several of us had a conversation last week about how theater is family, and how we're there for each other when our bio family screws us up. Normal families don't raise theater kids, to paraphrase a certain smart cookie. We're screwed up, but we're there for each other. Sometimes that's all we have.

A member of the family lost a member of their family. We are going to help.

Five Stupid Products

5. The Back-Up (under the bed gun rack)

Why keep a gun on your nightstand when it can be under your bed? For $39.95 you can keep the monster under your bed armed and dangerous!

4. Spray-On hair.

They can't even make it look good in the promo picture. It looks like you spray-painted your head. Congrats for a realistic product photo!

3. The Privacy Scarf

Now you can watch porn in public and not be judged. Nobody will know what's up.

2. The SpeedFit

I can't even make a joke about this. It's beneath my dignity.

1. Ahhh: Toilet Paper Foam Moistener

I get replacing wet wipes, that aren't supposed to be flushed. But what about WATER?! Jeeze...

At least it's shark week

Shark Week is back, amid new controversy. Last year it was a fabricated Megalodon documentary. This year it's a fake Jaws-esq great white.

In Ferguson, riots and tear gas are the order of the day in the wake of the Michael Brown shooting. Journalists are being arrested for reporting it.

Robin Williams hung himself. His daughter was harassed by trolls online with photo shopped images of the death.

People are asking what happened to our world. Others say it's always been like this, and these are the latest blips on the radar.

I don't want to say things are terrible and they're going to always be terrible. Things do get better. Crime rates are dropping, and have been for some time. Civil rights march on (slowly, but surely). Activism is working. Decrying the wrongs does get us somewhere.

But like Shark Week, the bad will return. People will get shot. Mental health will effect lives. The media will ignore the real problems and tell us that Discovery Channel is a bunch of dicks for fooling us with shark and Mermaid documentaries.

Bad things will happen. But we don't have to pretend it's new.