To the girl sitting next to me at Insidious Two

So I attended a showing of Insidious 2 with my future brother in law Grizz last night. We went to a 6:40 show since Grizz had to be up at 6:00 for work at a place that rhymes with Lowgers.

That was our mistake.

What we failed to realize is that a 6:40 showing for a PG-13 flick is going to be PACKED with teenage girls. Now, when I was a teenage girl, I never screamed at a horror movie. Frankly, I’ve never screamed at a movie. Jerked, sure. Clutched Bahamute’s arm, maybe. But screamed? Nope.

The usher was walking the aisles regularly, so talking was kept at a minimum, as was cellphone use. Not completely gone, mind you, but tolerable.

Then, the girl next to me (no older than 14 surely) started talking to me.

“Oh my God, it’s so scary!”

I raised one hand. “It’s fine.”

“But they’re gonna dieeeeeee!” She trembled, blond hair jittering.

“It’s fine. It’s a movie.”

The next thing I knew, her head was in my lap.

I looked across to Grizz.  “I don’t--how do I--what do I--Nothing in life has prepped me to deal with this situation!”

Grizz just grinned. Eventually, the girl left the safety of my lap. The screaming continued unabated.

I turned back to Grizz. “Can I dissociate myself from the gender right now?”

But it’s not a gender thing. Plenty of boys were hollering during the jump scares (which sadly, are ramped up from Insidious One’s total of one to about a dozen. Forgivable, but noticeable).  

I have to assume it’s a maturity thing. Even when I was thirteen I never squealed at scary movies. I might clap my hands over my mouth, but I never once screamed out, even if I was terrified. I was too conscious of breaking the mood and drawing attention to myself.

But even in my day, there were plenty of girls who were squealers. And I guess there always will be.

Futruama: the end (for reals!)

The series that brought together the living memebers of Star Trek TOS (Except Scotty)

The series that gave us such hilarious (yet completely inapplicable to humans) catchphrases like 

and

is ending. And unlike the last two times, this one looks like it'll stick. Moreover, I'm...not really that broken up. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have more Futurama, but after the 4 movies and resurgance on Comedy Central, most of the big series questions have been answered. The #9 man is the leader of a mind reading cult who saves the world. Fry and Leela finally got it on. And...well, that's really about it. Leela was once called 'The Other' by Nibbler, but that's pretty much fallen to the wayside.

So, if Futurama really IS over, I'll be a little sad, but not destroyed. Not like if it ended after it's Fox run with NOTHING answered. Still, I'll be watching these last few episodes with a LOT of interest.

A Storm of Swords and other weather (Spoilers PAST the Red Wedding)

I finished 'A Storm of Swords' this morning. 

Fuck. Me.

The more I read this series, the more I love it. And despite all the complaints, my three favorite characters are still up and kicking. Arya, Bran, and Tyrion are all alive, if not safe and unscathed.

Cat coming back from the dead? HOLY CRAP. Tyrion going to the Free Cities? He better freaking meet Daenerys (whom I also love). Arya getting Needle back? WOOTNESS!

So yeah, I'm loving it. I LOVE an author who's unafraid to murder his darlings, no matter how pissed the fanbase gets.

Mind you, if Tyrion dies, I'll hold a wake. Seriously. I love that guy. But that's nothing different from everybody else. 

Puzzled

Tonight I'm having some friends over to watch Troll 2. Last night it was Jaws. I'm re-reading IT for the umpteenth time.

I love horror. Good horror, bad horror, horror books, horror drawings, cons, props: ALL of it. Most of my friends don't share this interest: Really, only my future brother in law Grizz feels the same way about it that I do. We'll sit and discuss Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft, Insidious, anything for hours on end: in that way he and I are closer than my fiancee, his brother.

But not in this way.

For a long time, it was just something that I did. It never occurred to me that my interest in horror wasn't shared by everyone around me. They were misguided, I thought. They just needed to be shown how cool it was.

After a few years with my fiancee, I got over that. He doesn't care about horror one way or the other. It's fine. It's good that we have different interests.  It's healthy, etc.

So here I sit, counting down the hours until Troll 2 and Halloween when I can force everyone into participating in my interests. Selfish? Yeah. But it's one of the few times I push what I want to do. I usually try to make everyone else happy and never consider my own wants first (I fail a lot, but at least I try). 

Also, no qualms about them grabbing my ass or my tits. Like, zero.

Tonight is about doing what I want. I feel a little bad about my selfishness, a bit worse about NOT feeling worse, and mostly happy that I'm going to watch bad movies with friends. Anyone else ever get that?

Chun-Chun!

So, here I sit, watching Back to the Future at my soon-to-be Brother’s in law’s house (Bahamute and I are house/snake sitting). I’ve been watching a lot of 80s and 90s movies lately: mostly the Puppet Master series (I’m in the middle of #5 presently). I’ve come to a realization: Law and Order SVU has ruined bad eighties horror for me.

These fuckers.

Let me explain.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Puppet Master flicks (no great surprise there) it’s basically this: Puppets kill things. People. Demons. Other puppets. In the case of #4 it’s demons while protecting a good Master. Some people are killed by the demons, puppets win, end of flick.

Yeah, it's just as good as it looks

Number #5 starts with the protagonist of #4 in a police offce. He’s being charge with the murders. Okay, I can see that, he was the caretaker of the hotel where one dude died. Any other evidence?

Well...He has a creppy looking puppet! And he was the last person to call two murdered scientist he worked with.

He called them FROM the remote hotel, which the phone logs would show. He had NO motive to kill his co workers. The video of one co worker shows her looking at the floor: clearly the suspect programmed his puppet to MURDER these innocent people!

Ha ha.....ooooh.

With no opportunity, motive, and the barest excuse of a mean. These cops would have been tossed out on their asses if they tried this under Captain Cragen.

Get out of my office before I transfer you to the 'partnered with a comic foil' department.

Impotant RAAAAAAGE

What is the word for experiencing rage over something that happened 20 some years ago? Not something serious, like a murder or a war, mind you: something cultural, like an event in a book, movie, play or T.V. show.

Because the crap in Star Trek TNG is starting to REALLY get my dander up.

90% of the episodes are about Picard negotiating treaties. A nice idea, but I though your mission was to BOLDLY go where NO ONE HAS GONE BEFORE, not boldly go to the next neutral meeting site!

Another thing that sucks? Kids. So far Troi, Worf, Data, and Riker have all had a kid (not always a real one, mind you). Two have died by the end of the episode, one was shunted off to live with grandparents, and one was an alien impostor that was ditched at a starbase, presumably. Emotional manipulation go!

Wesley. Nuff said

Don't get me wrong, I still love TNG, mostly for it's complex characters. But I sure do miss the Holy Trinity of Trek beaming down to planets and finding adventures. 

Do do do do doooo....

New toys

Here I sit, blogging from my new Acer Chromebook. So far I'm getting used to the smaller keyboard: It's not teeny tiny or anything, but it's smaller than I'm used to. So I'm sitting in my living room, watching Puppetmaster 2, and trying out new apps.

Yep, just like this.

So far, so good. It's got a webcam and mic: more videos on the go, perhaps. I'm trying to figure out how to rename it in my Wi-Fi system. TYRION, Motha Effers!

Yep.

So far, so good: $200 well spent!

A paradox!

So, I find myself wanting to purchase something to do a little writing (and maybe some internet browsing) when I'm at rehearsal for a play, etc. My Fiancee has a laptop, but ti's cumbersome and sorta old. So now I'm looking at 'Chromebooks'. I'm not thrilled about no windows, but the Google Docs stuff seems like a decent intermediary between that and working on my home computer.

At $199, the price is right. Do I go for it?

It seems like an okay deal. I was burned by a refurbished computer the last time I tried to buy one, but Best Buy has a new model that seems to suit my needs. I think I might go for it.

In other news, Spamalot rehearsals are going well: I'm playing a number of small parts including Tim the Enchanter. Bahamute is Galahad and the Black Knight. Super special awesome!

Dangit LittleKuriboh, where's the new episode?!

Whelp, by that ol' clock in the corner of my screen, my lunchtime internet derping is just about up. TTFN.

Working hard for de' money

So, thanks to a helpful meeting with my boss, I'm now allowed to visit various internet sights during my lunch hour. I've got 15 minutes left, so that leaves juuuuuuust enough time for a witty, informative blog.

...

Sonofabitch.

Craptacular.

What is there to cover? Batflack? I don't really care. My favorite Batman is still Kevin Conroy of Batman TAS and the Arkham games. I have no special hatred for Afflack either, having seen him in Mallrats and...um...hm.

Remember, this is the one everyone else likes.

How about The Wolverine. Unlike many X-Men fans who have read the comics (Proud owner of some semi-mangled Essential X-Men over here!) I enjoyed it.

This is pretty much it.

It was dumb popcorn entertainment, and as for Hugh Jackman, he gave another great performance. I'm much more excited for X-Men Days of a Future Past with Peter Dinklage as Bolivar Trask. Score!

AWWWW YEEEEAAAAH

Speaking of Dinklage, I just made it past 'The Red Wedding' in the Song of Ice and Fire book series. Time to start watching the show! Tyrion (Dinklage) is my favorite character, and I'm excited to see the much-acclaimed portrayal of him real soon.

As for the future: reviews of Gingerdead Man and maybe Troll 2. I'm having a screening of both this weekend, with special feature, Evil Bong. Wish me luck!

On Blu-Ray AND DVD? Oh my GAAAAAAWWWWWWWWD!

To read

I see a clown, a man, a tree

Red and white, lips blue and free

With poison dripping down on me.

All hail Sai King, whose heart does see.

I see a man but oh so small,

A spider climbing down the wall,

To whet the fear within us all.

Cheers, Mr. Matheson, what a ball.

I see lions on the veldt

With glossy golden shining pelt

Lap up blood, no pain was felt.

Bradbury, where genius dwelt.

I see a ring, and furr-ed feet

Elves and monsters, what a treat

To read and evermore to meet

Tolkien, and paths so sweet.

I see a girl, a faun, a cave

And children who are good and brave

Magic and the wits to save.

Lewis, and the tales he gave.

I see ravens dark and black,

In darkened hate the floorboards clack

To hide the heart not gone slack.

Poe, the first to run the track.

I see these things, and do recall

The joy they brought to me, to all

Who feel the need, who head the call

Of darkness to which we’re in thrall.